Was getting into it and beginning to enjoy my read until the "to be cntd" part),  However, felt it was too long but nevrtheless, was worth the time spent  Hope to read the finale soon.  Also, having followed your works since you first started posting, the research you've done for the stories is worthy of commendation and you somehow make me feel that it was you (your life events) in most of them. 

BTW, am loving the part of the palay's (chankhay) line "Yo nani ta khacchar po recha. Kasto mitho nepali boldo raicha ho.”  For some unknown reason it just cracked me up.  Have a nice wkend!!

Narration is great.

finally, it's working.
thanks deep.

read the whole story today...was worth reading
good job amber...
keep these ideas flowing...

Good job Amber,

enjoyed reading it...

"There comes a time when one must force oneself to realize that what was once a goal is no longer. It isn’t for our lack of trying, it isn’t for our lack of dedication, but simply because destiny choose it for us. It is no longer a question of May if or when, but can or can’t.” Adaptablity governs our lives as circumstances change with time. Absolutely delightful thought Amber. You nailed it again! Keep it up ** returnee** Grrrrrrrrr.. this txt box :S

Really loved it Amber..specially the second half. It's amazing feeling  your baby move inside you, ain't it? Your narration made it feel so real..great going !!

wowwwwwwwwwww awesome

Destiny making the destiny of all.It's life and the script changes at the real time. Live out of fairy tales people !

Though your write-up has ended, I am longing for more. Nevertheless I can fantasize the next part and conjure my own characters to continue the story on my own.

Great job. Keep on entertaining.

Dear Amber,

A story weaved with miniature details with a tinge of harsh reality - a pleasant read, great job!

good one amber...would have liked it better if the ending was less gloomier...i see the light at the end of the tunnel but still....perhaps that is how reality is?..i 'dunno'

'so basically men are hypocrites..big time' hmmmm....

oh and btw,
just wanted to nudge someone

hi there returnee!
i am half-certain about your identity although don't want to steal your thunder by beating around the bush making guesses in here. if you're from europe, which i am quite sure you are, then you know me and you have my number. call anticipated

if not then: chal chal...zara hawa aane de hahahaha

Simply amazing! hope there are more to come.

Connection Failure

This story was quite a warning for me.... I have many cousins!

Amber- You are a Nova!
 
  Damn! you kinda gave me this sudden urge to get pregnant. Having a baby you inside you, the feel /touch/kick/move of that little one inside you....and all that stuffs. I want to get pregnant right now!
    But i know its something tht i'll never get to experience.

Motherhood is an wonderful stage,no? ......someone calling you momma, pulling your hair, playing with toys , messing around the house, dirtying the house, crying the whole night, diapers....OMG! urge gone!

Wonderful Story
Good Luck!

mademoiselle,
pleasure is all mine. don't hesitate to holler yours truly when/if you feel the need to edit your reads before posting 'em in here  (<----look who's talking )

geeshhh i have been procrastinating ..........i m reading it!!!!!!
tara you are one helluva writer!!!!! amber

finally read it
an arcane aristocratic stupidity and Keshya's submissiveness. What happened after that??
but Frank's the man isn't he??
well amber dijju i was looking forward to reading the "sajha fairy tale....", but i am complacent after reading this one.........execution chai kasto kasto lagyo, Keshya is left to learn life the hard way.........

btw the way nepali daddy, american mommy, boyfriend re maldives gaako...........and the result of the passion nearly duped me for some reason ( who is who bhanera), i didn't follow the punctuations properly.

anyways great going
keep posting.
all praises...........clap clap clap..................
occult

aviator/lootekukur-thanks.

occult-thanks for your comments. why not check this out?i'm sure most of the readers will agree on this.

*************************

good story on sajha!” kesya got pregnant, decided not to get an abortion ,started dating frank”- just to prove that i read it.

 

let me pull it up again on screen. i'd prefer to give you comments directly. overall, i think you're well on your way to becoming a great writer. this story just proves it.

 

on a line by line basis it's easy for me to find things to comment on. in the first part you posted the part that i found most awkward to follow-was the sudden shift into the past -from 2007 to 1991 somehow, by calling it "part II"  i expected time to move forward when actually you went back in time for one, drop "part II" make it one single piece with the flashback in the middle. in a movie it would be easy to do. change the color tones slightly (less bright colors or even black and white) for the flashback when it's just written text...  it's a little harder to get the stupid reader to follow exactly...may be say... it was the day of bada dashain16 years ago. so that the reader does not have to keep track of dates just add 16 years ago or something like that just as an added guide for the stupid reader to follow exactly the time switch.

 

next point where i got a little confused when keshya decides not to have the abortion and walks out and meets frank. when and how does frank learn about her decision? can you help the reader along a bit saying he looked up from the children's book he  was flipping through, and there she was already or something like that find a way to tell the reader that frank realized that she was back out much sooner than if she had gone through with the abortion "he looked up, and there she was ALREADY" or something like that you know what i mean? i also don't quite get the part about her comment "fairy tales again".  not quite sure what it adds to the story. i don't quite see whether its presence adds to or subtracts from the story whether it's well located part of.

 

 

“i was just starting to feel flattered that there is a little piece of me appearing in your story... but wanted to double check first.”

 

---- received from an anonymous friend

nice read for me (O:

its still hard for me to comprehend (O: the real life complexities.
there are some aspect of lives that are out of bounds (O: and people should be aware of those boundaries, consequences and repercussions. otherwise, czars, british royals of 18th century and deformed sickle cell anemia ...

any way life and reality are not my area of expertise so i will refrain from trying to load up my vested interest.

its a good write and probably closer to reality of life. but for me still hard to accept what happened... blame it on me belonging to 18th century.

none whatsoever please keep on writing and its a master-piece.

Ingenious style of narration, well defined plots, and close-approximation of the narrative makes "The Golden Girl" shine through the dark and dingy Netherlands' weather..I simply  loved the piece and I am glad I waited for all these days to read it. The plot setting was innovative yet simple and I liked the ending too. It made me optimistic and hoping that good things will happen to Keshya and her baby if the story was to have another extension :)

I was totally taken by surprise when the male character's name was introduced for the first time. All these years of assurance that "Avani" was a girl's  name was flushed down the bathroom...:)  Few lines from the story just stole my heart as they were written so beautifully. Will reflect on it sometime later... Also, as CH said, very  bold topic and a total justice done Amber :)

Loote--I disagree with whoever said "all men are Hippocrates," because circumstances with other things mashed define our actions and tagging somebody as Hippocrate would just be a easy  way of letting that person off the hook. And you are more than welcome to disagree with me on this.