म न्यू यॉर्क मा बस्छु , एहा सारा दुनिया भर का मान्छे भेट हुन्छन ।
Queens को इमिग्रेंट हरु को बस्ती मा बस्ने हुदा अमेरिकन ( गोरा र काला ) जाती भन्दा देसी, स्पेनिश हरु संग नै धेरै भेट घाट हुन्छ ।
मैले आइले आइले आएर याद गरेको एउटा कुरा , हामी नेपाली हरु एहा आउने बित्तिकै किन आफ्नो संस्कृति , आफ्नो धरातल बिर्सेर अमेरिकन बन्न खॊज्छौ ?
मैले चिनेको एउटा बंगाली अमेरिका आएको 22 बर्ष जती भएको छ । उसको छोरी जो एहा जन्मी हुर्की उ घर बस्दा प्राय जसो कुर्ता सूरवाल मै हुन्छे , उसको येही जन्मेको अमेरिकन छोरो को भाषा कुनै भर्खर बंगाल बाट आएको बंगाली को भन्दा कम छैन ।। तर मैले चिनेका थुप्रै नेपाली परिवार का बुदि बुदि आईमै हरु कुनै अबसर मा बाहेक कुर्ता साड़ी को नाम लिदैनन , झाऊ लाग्चा रे , बच्चा हरुलाइ सकी नसकि अंग्रेजी बोल्न लगाउछ्न ।।
अगि मैले दिएको बंगाली परिवार मात्र हैन न्यू यॉर्क माँ अरु तेस्तै धेरै थाउ का मान्छे छन , ब्रुकलिन गयो भने साना साना jews का बच्चा हरु आफ्नो पहिरन लगाएर घुमि रहेका हुन्छन ।।
हामी लाइ मात्र किन तेस्तो wanna be हुन पर्ने ??
बर्ष मा एक दिन दशैं र तिहार मान्दैमा , ana मा गएर भाग लिदैमा र म नेपाली भनेर फेसबुक मा ठूला ठूला पोस्ट गर्दैमा हामी नेपाली हुञ्छौ?
अगि धत्तुआ भन्ने जंतु ले अर्को थ्रेड मा भने जस्तो म भगवान मान्दीन ,हिन्दू धर्म ठीक छैन रे , जन्मेर येत्रो हुन्झेल मानेको धर्म अब उसलाई घाड़ो भो । संसार कै समृद्ध साली देस जो हरेक कुरा मा भगवान को अर्थ लाइ समेत challange दिन्छ , भगवान को अस्तिस्तो माथि नै प्रस्न गर्छ, उसको पैसा मा भगवान को नाम छ , राष्ट्रपति ले भाषण गर्दा भगवान् ले रक्ष्या गरुन भन्छ अणि हाम्रो देस जून भगवान् भरोसा माँ चल्छ उस्कै बासी को येत्रो नाटक ??
हामी किन हामी भएर एहा बस्न सक्दैनौ?? हामी किन आफ्नो भाषा भेस संस्कृति लाइ अंगीकार गरेर अगाडी बडन सक्दैनौ ?? के हाम्रो संस्कृति तेती नराम्रो छ की एअरपोर्ट छोड़ने बित्तिकै बिर्सन पर्छ ? के हामले बच्चा देखि मानी आएको भगवान् तेती नराम्रा छन की एहा पस्ने बित्तिकै म तलाई मान्दिन भन्न पर्छ ??
I am just tired of this wanna be american Nepali people.

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I think you bring a valid question but the way it is phrased, it sounds like you are pissed at the "wanna-be." This is an interesting observation and a good topic to discuss but why are you viewing the other side as the wrong side?

First of all, I grew up in Kathmandu and I don't remember any kid growing with me (in Ktm or any other cities in Nepal) wearing a daura-surwal except in a big occasion. We didn't "change" after we came here, we grew up that way. This doesn't mean I don't love and respect my culture. I actually think our daura-surwal is pretty cool and whenever I have a chance to wear it (i.e. weddings) I do. So, you can't compare a Bengali wearing a kurta to us.

You might say that the focus is not only in what we wear but how we behave. Once you go to any country and live there for years, it is hard not to assimilate; some ideas change and perspectives modify. Just because that change happens, you cannot blame it on the person. We aren't running away from where we came from, we are only accepting the changes that we are exposed to. I still love my country and my culture.

Sure, with this change, we have forgotten some of our roots; hopefully not a significant portion..just a little. If somebody can adhere to his/her roots forever, props to them. But just because we are assimilating and accepting the minor changes, we aren't doing anything wrong.
Be open, be progressive. Accept the fact that some are going to change and some aren't; it doesn't have to be black and white.

What is your contribution for the Nepalese society and the Nepalese culture in USA ? it doesn’t mean we don’t love our country and our culture if don’t wear the Nepalese dress and our children don’t speak Nepalese language frequently. 

 बडा मनको कुरा पोख्नु भए छ , फेसबुक जी ले . भाषिक ( हिज्जे ) शुद्धतामा अलि ध्यान दिनु भए पढ्न सजिलो हुन्थ्यो कि ???

Kiddo , बस्त्र को त मैले एउटा उधाहरण देको मात्र हु , संस्कृति लुगा मा मात्र छैन , म नि त्यों मान्छु ।। एस्टी एउटा संग येइ कुरा माँ discuss पर्यो , कुर्ता सूरवाल लाउने नालाउने आफ्नो आफ्नो मन रे , भुत्रो !!!
हो , पछिलो कुरा संग मेरो बिमती हो । हामी किन परिवर्तन हुञ्छौ ?? हामी किन हामी भएर बस्न सक्दैनौ जब की येही थाउ मा हामी भन्दा बर्षौ पीले आएका हरु जस्ता को तेस्तै छन ! हामी चाय किन एस्तो ? हाम्रा बच्चा किन आमा भन्दैनन किन OmG को सत्ता हे भगवान् भन्दैनन ? किन हामी त्यों सेकाउदैनौ ? परिवर्तन हुनु समय को माग हो तर परिवर्तन भन्दै मा हाम्रो छाला त गोरो हुदैन , हामी खैरे ले जस्तो आज खर्च गर भोली तिर्छु त भन्दैनौ फेरी किन नाटक ?
tutepani ,हो हामी नेपाली बिग्रनु को प्रमुख कारण येइ हो , तैले के गरीस ,उसले के गर्यो , मलाई देस ले के गर्यो ! येस्तई कुरा ले हामी अगाडी बडन सक्दैनौ ! मेरो कुरा हो भने म कतै गएर येसरी wanna be बनेर देखाउदै हिर्दिन !! म नेपाली हु , माँ सायद 50 बर्ष एहा बसु म नेपाली नै रहन्छु, म मेरो देस भगवान् लाइ गाली गर्दीन । मलाई देस ले के दियो भनेर खोज्दै हिर्दीन !!!
rahulvai दाई , तेस्तो प्रोग्राम त एहा हप्तै पिच्छे हुन्छ । russel peter को कॉमेडी नहेरेर तहा गए हुन्छ ।। सकी नसकि जानी न जानी अंग्रेजी खोकेर हैरान । अनि बच्चा को कुरा गर्नु भो दाई ले , मैले भन्न खोजेको कुरा त्यों नि हो । अरु ले आफ्नो भाषा संग अंग्रेजी सिकाउन सक्छन , लुगा भेस भूषा सिकाउन सक्छन हामी किन सक्दैनौ के ??

 सहि कुरो उठाउनु  भो फेसबुक-जी ले ...... मेरा सम्पूर्ण दक्षिण भारतीय साथिहरुका लालाबालाहरुले फरररर उनीहरुको भाषामा कुरो गर्छन तर जब नेपालीहरुको कुनै कार्यक्रममा जान्छु त्यहाँ बच्चाहरु अंग्रेजीमा बोल्छन , फिटिक्क नेपाली आउँदैन साएद यसको कारण घरमा आमा-बुबाले घरमा उनिहरुसंग नेपालीमा नबोल्नु नै हो ....घर मा अंग्रेजी ...बिद्यालयमा अंग्रेजी.... साथी संग खेल्दा अंग्रेजी.... हरेक ठाउमा बिचारहरुले अंगेजी मात्र सुनेको र बोलेको हुन्छ अनि कहाँ बाट बुझोस् र बोलोस् त्यो बच्चो ले मातृभाषा ... तेसैले अलिअलि कोशिश गर्दैछ्म आजकाल २-४ जना मिलेर नेपाली अक्षर पढाउने येहीं .... तर बिचार ति सानानानीहरु लाइ गारो भाको छ .... घर मा सक्दो नेपालीमा बोल्दिनुस भनेर भनेका छौँ माता-पितालाइ तर खै बोल्दिनहुन्न वाँहाहरु .....अनि बच्चाले बोलेन बोलेन भनेर मात्र हुन्छ र ......आखिर बच्चाले सिक्ने भनेको आमा-बाबुलाइ हेरेर नै हैन र  .... यो भो भाषाको कुरो ....

थाहा-छैनको कुरामा मेरो पुरा सहमति छ|

Just because you are assimilating, doesn't mean you lose your core identity. Language is a big factor and there doesn't seem to be the right approach on parent's part to maintain this identity. They give up too fast. "Kids wouldn't answer to us in Nepali", "Kids couldn't mingle so we thought we should give them a headstart on english" and then they later complain their kids can't speak Nepali. An extra bit of effort is required, but it is possible.

On the same token, just because a kid is uses english as a primary means of communication doesn't mean the parents have failed them. I have friends with grown-up kids who very well speak Nepali but because they are more comfortable in english, they use it the most. They however identify themselves as Nepali and follow all Nepali culture/rituals; very well cultured kids. I didn't see forcing Nepali language on them all the time would be the right thing to do.

I agree that compared to our Indian counterparts, we seem to be far behind. They are proud of their culture and heritage, we seem to be confused.

भाषा र संस्कृति भनेको कसै माथि लाद्ने कुरो नि होइन |
देश अनुसारको भेष भनेको मैले सुनेको छु , तर दौरा सुरुवाल लगाएर हरेक दिन हिड्नलाई अलिक बेवारिक देख्दिन म बिशेष गरि अमेरिकामा | तेस्को मतलब यो होइन कि मैले मेरो संस्कृति बिर्से , बस देश अनुसारको भेस मात्र गर्न खोजेको | अर्को कुरा अंग्रेजी भनेको मान्यता प्राप्त अन्तरास्ट्रिय भाषा , यो अमेरिकाको मात्र होइन | संसारको कुनै पनि ठाउमा अंग्रेजी भाषा मात्रले पनि धेरै काम फत्ते हुन्छ | तेसैले यो भाषालाइ हेला होइन , धन्यबाद दिम | येदि तपाई रसिया मा पुग्नु भो भने र तेही बसोबास गर्नु भो भने, तेह कालान्तारमा तपाई रुस्सियन बोल्ने नागरिक भएर निस्कनु हुनेछ | जुन ठाउँमा बस्नु हुन्छ , त्यो ठाउको बोलि त बोल्ने पर्यो सकी नसकी होस् वा जसरि होस्, नबोली त सुक्खै छैन | तर मलाई पनि अनौठो लाग्ने चाही , यी कथित केहि नौटंकीहरु आफ्नै नेपालीहरुको घुइचोमा अंग्रेजी बोल्ने,  नेपाली बोले पुग्ने ठाउमा , त्यो चाही मलाई पनि एक दमै उदेक लाग्छ |

कुरो रह्यो धर्म को , धर्म भनेको बेक्तिगत चाहनाको कुरो, अहिले आएर भंनै पर्दा | आदर्शवान जीवन जिउन सिकौछ कुनै पनि धर्मले | तेही सिके मैले  बाल्यकालमा | तर जब तेही धर्मले अरु धर्मको खेदो गर्छ , के काम त्यो धर्मको | मित्र, मैले आध्यात्मिक विचारधारा बोकेको धेरै भा छैन , तर जब मैले सोचे , धेरै सोचे , अहिले सारा संसारमा युद्धको एउटा जड 'धर्म' पनि हो | कसैले म कुनै धर्म मान्दिन भने, तेस्लाई नराम्रो हिसाबले नहेरुम | कसैले अरु कुनै धर्म अंगाले, तेस्लाई पनि नराम्रो रुपम नहेरुम | हरेक जीवको  उसको जीवनको धेय भनेको खुसि हुनु हो | अरुलाई दुख दिएर खुसि हुनु भनेको पनि होइन | कुनै पनि हिसाबले खुसि लिनुस , मात्र तेस सुखप्राप्तीमा अरु कसैको खति नभाको होस् | कसैलाई धर्म छाड्दैमा खुसि हुन्छ भने , हाम्लाई के को टाउको दुखाई | अब धर्म छाडे भन्दै मा त्यो मान्छेलाइ अरु धर्मको बेइजत गर्दै हिड्ने हक भने हुदैन र गर्छ भने तेस्ताको बाटो अघि नपरेकै बेश |

हे भगवान , OMG माने एउतै हो | धेरै टाउको नदुखाम मित्र | जति हामि एस्त कुरा गर्चम , उति संकुचित देखिन्छ , बंगालीले के गर्छन , अथवा जुविस ले के गर्छन  , त्यो संग हाम्रो के लिनु दिनु ,  उनीहरु कट्टरबादी सोचबाट ग्रसित छन् | तेस्तै एउटा 'अमिश (AMISH) ' समुदाय छन् येही अमेरिकामा , विश्वास गर्नुस उनीहरु आधुनिक बिकाशक्रम लाइ अंगाल्न कुनै पनि हालतमा तयार छैनन  , अब के तपाई हामि तेस्ताको पछि लागी हिड्नु ? होला उनीहरुको आफ्नै केहि विश्वास , तर त्यो संग हाम्लाई के मतलब | जसरि हुन्छ खुसि हुनुस, अरुले के गरे , के गरेन भनेर समय बर्बाद गर्नु भो भने बर्बादी र बुढेसकालले  चाडैनै ढोकामा धक्कौनेय छन् |

thahachaina ji, being human is what we should not be forgetting of rather than just limited to thought of being of some nationality. This may be little radical for many of us, whose upbringing included patriotic/religious brainwashing during our childhood but in true sense, we in fact must keep asking questions till the end, not be sufficed with the mere boxed attitude like your last paragraph stated. I may want to stress that asking questions who am I and who we are in fact is very enlightening, short paraphrase to it would be 'liberation', not exactly, but nearing towards it. I'm not an ingrate, in any sense, and still see my birthplace gleefully. 

You seem to be confused. You can't seriously be against people trying to assimilate! I'd rather the stuckups stayed back home than showed resistance towards assimilation. 

There'd have been more credibility to your point if you'd showed your displeasure towards people not partaking in events meant to promote Nepali culture. That seems to be one of the most worrying thing among us, sadly. 

If you are in Rome, do as  Romans do. That doesnt mean that you need to change yourself the way you are but wearing a Kurta or Daura to  "Redneck Heaven" would be little odd to me. And putting up Nepalese flags stickers all over your Toyota Camry and putting up sticker that reads "Buddha was born in Nepal not India" would make me wonder is there any other  better way to represent your country.
Also, the Nepali parents who lack substantial education background here in America are the ones who wants their kids to speak only English whether at home or anywhere to let others know that they are totally American which is kind of hilarious.

Id say nepalese are more versatile than other nationalities from our geographical region. We adapt and assimilate easily with the culture in contact. Other than that ,its just an immigrant's story.

If you were quite willing to leave everything behind , start a new life from scratch in a different country which has completely different culture, ethos, language, that probably means the language , culture you were born were probably not that important to you. Secondly, if you are quite happy to enjoy the benefits , education and wealth of the first world, the least you can do is assimilate.

 Bittertruth मित्र तपाई ले ब्यग्तिगत इक्ष्या को कुरा उठाउनु भो , मैले येहा मेरो तपाई को मात्र कुरा गरेको छैन . ब्यग्तिगत रुप मा त तपाई सिता परियार जस्तो बनेर बस्छु भने पनि तपाई को इक्ष्या हो कसैले की भन्न सक्दैन . 

Let's talk from a sociologists' viewpoint:

In the timeline of civilizations; cultures emerge, evolve and die out. This is natural. Where you happened to be in that timeline and in what culture is SOOOO unimportant. Languages come and go, foods, rituals,..you name it. 
And I agree; not everything we leave behind are bad, nor are good everything we embrace. This is just the demand of time. I love Nepal and am proud to be a Nepali, but clinging to the last drop is very stubborn. Some people who just enjoy their old culture will continue it bit longer, others will create/adapt  to a new one.
And why that kind of inferiority complex that 'we are losing to them'???? I see the foreigners also adapting to our culture, think Yoga. The world is being streamlined, brother.

I visualize cultures as a (pretty) girl's braid, each hair string grouped together, intertwined further, and creating a systematic and pleasant look.  In that process, some short hair strings don't make it to the end, SO??? Why is that a problem?

I have tried to answer your question based on my experience and opinion. One suggestion I can share with you is- get out of your comfort zone, and try to experience the world. There are different ways to promote culture and community. Technology in a sustainable way is where the world is moving towards so that everybody in the world can have a descent life style.

म न्यू यॉर्क मा बस्छु , एहा सारा दुनिया भर का मान्छे भेट हुन्छन । 
Queens को इमिग्रेंट हरु को बस्ती मा बस्ने हुदा अमेरिकन ( गोरा र काला ) जाती भन्दा देसी, स्पेनिश हरु संग नै धेरै भेट घाट हुन्छ । 
मैले आइले आइले आएर याद गरेको एउटा कुरा , हामी नेपाली हरु एहा आउने बित्तिकै किन आफ्नो संस्कृति , आफ्नो धरातल बिर्सेर अमेरिकन बन्न खॊज्छौ ?-- This is not true. Most people want changes. We would like to experience different culture, style, nature and ambience. This helps one to become smarter as exposure to newer things leads one to think in different ways; brain neurons develop in the process. Importance of being smart is to help others and to make this world a better place to live.  

 
मैले चिनेको एउटा बंगाली अमेरिका आएको 22 बर्ष जती भएको छ । उसको छोरी जो एहा जन्मी हुर्की उ घर बस्दा प्राय जसो कुर्ता सूरवाल मै हुन्छे , उसको येही जन्मेको अमेरिकन छोरो को भाषा कुनै भर्खर बंगाल बाट आएको बंगाली को भन्दा कम छैन ।। तर मैले चिनेका थुप्रै नेपाली परिवार का बुदि बुदि आईमै हरु कुनै अबसर मा बाहेक कुर्ता साड़ी को नाम लिदैनन , झाऊ लाग्चा रे , बच्चा हरुलाइ सकी नसकि अंग्रेजी बोल्न लगाउछ्न ।।
--That is okay. Unless you are a woman, you would not know how much you have to struggle to wear that saree..seriously! Maybe one day you will get into fashion, and figure out an easy way to wear a saree. ..English is a common languague that will help the kids to share their ideas, and to learn new things in future. World will certainly be a different place when the kids grow up. I am sure they would want to learn more about Nepali culture in a different way from how we learned growing up. 

 
अगि मैले दिएको बंगाली परिवार मात्र हैन न्यू यॉर्क माँ अरु तेस्तै धेरै थाउ का मान्छे छन , ब्रुकलिन गयो भने साना साना jews का बच्चा हरु आफ्नो पहिरन लगाएर घुमि रहेका हुन्छन ।। 
हामी लाइ मात्र किन तेस्तो wanna be हुन पर्ने ?? 
-- You need to ask jews family how they do it. If they want to do it that way, that's fine. I find it much comfortable to wear shorts and t-shirts than to wear dauruwal and suruwal. Once in a while I do not mind and infact love to share nepali vogue to the folks outside Nepali culture- it's fun!

बर्ष मा एक दिन दशैं र तिहार मान्दैमा , ana मा गएर भाग लिदैमा र म नेपाली भनेर फेसबुक मा ठूला ठूला पोस्ट गर्दैमा हामी नेपाली हुञ्छौ?
-- Most of us probably would like to be the citizen of world rather than just being a citizen of one nation. That's how I view it. Open up your mind dude!
 
अगि धत्तुआ भन्ने जंतु ले अर्को थ्रेड मा भने जस्तो म भगवान मान्दीन ,हिन्दू धर्म ठीक छैन रे , जन्मेर येत्रो हुन्झेल मानेको धर्म अब उसलाई घाड़ो भो । संसार कै समृद्ध साली देस जो हरेक कुरा मा भगवान को अर्थ लाइ समेत challange दिन्छ , भगवान को अस्तिस्तो माथि नै प्रस्न गर्छ, उसको पैसा मा भगवान को नाम छ , राष्ट्रपति ले भाषण गर्दा भगवान् ले रक्ष्या गरुन भन्छ अणि हाम्रो देस जून भगवान् भरोसा माँ चल्छ उस्कै बासी को येत्रो नाटक ??
-- Concept of GOD is a philosophical discussion which is already ingrained in world's societies. Anything philosophical must be discussed with time, because things change over time that makes people change over time. A mathematician might infer Math as a GOD, a scientist might call Science as GOD, a priest might call his Belief as GOD.. since president is involved in different aspects of life, it's just easier for him to call GOD as GOD. Word "GOD" lets us surrender ourselves to one thing in the world that we would not have done it otherwise. Psychologically and socially this is beneficial as this makes you be friendly.
 
हामी किन हामी भएर एहा बस्न सक्दैनौ?? हामी किन आफ्नो भाषा भेस संस्कृति लाइ अंगीकार गरेर अगाडी बडन सक्दैनौ ?? के हाम्रो संस्कृति तेती नराम्रो छ की एअरपोर्ट छोड़ने बित्तिकै बिर्सन पर्छ ? के हामले बच्चा देखि मानी आएको भगवान् तेती नराम्रा छन की एहा पस्ने बित्तिकै म तलाई मान्दिन भन्न पर्छ ?? 
I am just tired of this wanna be american Nepali people.
-- Don't worry about how others behave. If you like to live in a specific Nepali way- with nepali language, vogue, and culture- please feel free to do it your own way. All of us are living in our own way. Nothing wrong with Nepali culture, we simply would like to embrace in different ways.

Keep writing what's in your mind. Reading people's ideas will help you think better. Be careful how you express your emotions in writing, because it is not obvious to read people's emotions in text. Take a practical approach. Thanks

 Its been a while in those college years,  a new  roommate " maha-rani" came to stay with us , she saw a "bikini zone shaving gel" in the bathroom. And later found out we all girls were well groom and clean beside her. After few days, She complains she won't be able to live with us, 'cause we are too americanized..she thinks we are wanna-be american and we wil spoil her..bla bla...She is happy with her spider-web..

But Months later, her BF came to the kitchen and started to Cook Beef...and we all girls complained..she said she doesn't eat beef either, but she said  since we all wanna be american..she has no problem with that...

Within two months, she managed to get white boy, green card within three years..but all girls struggling to pay-off the tuition/rent...

SHE TOLD US THERE IS A WAY THAT YOU CAN TO BE AMERICANIZED WITH BENEFITS...

 Yau facebook kaslai jantu vaneko, you are the animal. If people are willing to learn good culture which is American let them be. I like Amercan culture very much and i like to dress up like them. I don't want to wear dhaka topi, daura suruwal etc, for me it looks hick or gawar. I don't care about jews Americans or Mexican Americans or Asian Americans but I like white culture who are Christians. 

 जब हामी आफ्नो परिचय (identity) बिर्सन्छौ,तब हामी गुमनाम (Pendulum) हुन्छौ l Techinically we'll become an american citizenship (dont forget they r calling ALIAN to us) but our ethenic is always be Nepali.this one stay with us forever.this is the truth.


गाई लाई धोएर कहिलेइ गधा हुँदैन......सबैलाई चेतना भया l 

There are three groups involved in discussion here, and I see a huge gap in perception between the first two groups.

The first group thinks the second group are wanna-bes. They thing this group is blindly copying the American culture because they revere this culture and want to be like Americans.

The second group thinks the first group is stuck-up and is resistant to change.

The third group sees the middle ground somewhere; I hope to be in this group. First and foremost, each individual has as much prerogative to follow the culture and lifestyle of his choosing as any other. Just because he starts rapping doesn't mean he is blindly copying a culture. Say an American likes Yoga and meditation, are you going to blame him and call him wanna-be desi? Language is a good way of preserving a culture but just because a Nepali uses english doesn't make him/her forgetting his/her culture. Yes, few force this language on others even when they aren't comfortable with it; e.g. the case Rahulvai stated above. If it is a Nepali/Nepal language program, what's the point of speaking in english all the time. Reminds me of the Nepali actress' thank-you speech.

Just because a person doesn't dress the way you want them to dress and doesn't speak the language you want them to speak, don't call him/her a wanna-be. There could be million other reason why this is being done.