I have now got my ghazal completed, the incomplete version of which was posted in the thread (or threat ?) of "Sitara's Musings".

I did not recite it at the Room Poetry Reading organized in Virginia this past Sunday. I rather decided to recite two of my old ghazals 'Timi Adeko Sanghaar' and 'Chulubulu Chulubulu'. (By the way, the event, organized in Woodbridge, Virginia at Homnath Subedi's home and attended by some Sajhaites and a number of local poets and an American couple was a huge success- with free flow of sura, kavita and the discussion on the later).

This ghazal is going to appear in a local ezine. Nevertheless, for fellow Sajhaites, I am posting it right here.

Share the frustrations, fears, alarm and call of duty of your fellow countryman.

A pic from the Room (actually outdoor) Poetry Reading in Woodbridge, VA.

Another one ...

Kamred yata ni chhan uta ni
Kamred kamred ma tara mel chhaina
Kun kamred kata ko ho kunni
Kamred nahunehi lai bheu chhaina

Kamred ka malik yata ni chhan uta ni
Malik Malik ma tara khasai antar chhaina
Kina kamred aaja chintit chha kunni
Kaadhma usko banduk rakhne malik
Khai kun ho sayad patto chhaina.

Nepe sir, ghazal padhera malai ta ke lagyo bhane chautarama kamred frustrated chha.

Nepe sir,

aaabhari bhaye dhanna cha tyo gazal. Lekhdai jaam. Tyo Rajpariwaar ko geet sunera pakya mero kaan kulukulu thukka bhayo balla.

Deep sir lay bhanya jastai,

Kamred yata ni chhan uta ni
Kamred kamred ma tara mel chhaina
Kun kamred kata ko ho kunni
Kamred nahunehi lai bheu chhaina

auni ma ni thapdim ta...

kalam ko kati kasrat cha
padhni lai patto chaina.

Deep Sir,

Nowhere to be seen the disarming innocence of your childhood stories, seductive richness of your occasional poetic fragments and generally your image of a mature and thoughtful person. Where did they all go ? Even the epitome of politeness, our very Jira sir, seems to be at a loss. Jatatatai Kamred dekhne ke bidya jaaniyo hajur ?

********************

Jira sir,

Kulukulu garera thukiye mera ghazal teso bhaye ?

********************

Here is an extended version of the old ghazal 'Timi Adeko Sanghaar' posted on Sajha some months ago. The new version can also be found at Nepalikavita.com (You don't need Nepali fonts to read it. It's on Unicode)

The beauty of ghazal is that you can add new sher any time, because each sher is an independent and complete poem. That is not the case with other genre of poetry. Hail Ghazal !


- http://www.nepalikavita.com/archive/2004/August/August_12.htm

Nepe sir,

Reining the tears already freed
I lamented on failed commands
Freeing the memories already jailed
I failed on numerous escapes.


Yastai chha, jindagi bandhak ma rakhera aru swapnaka udharo beparma churlumma dubi sake tyai pani cheteko chhaina ---- tyai purana dinma farkan khojchhu tara oo bela hepiyeko atitle afulai pratibandhit gareko chha. Ranabhulla ma chhu, prabho, katako kabita katako katha.-----

Ye-- kabita bhanda samjhe---kunai din ma euti kabita bhannelai ni bairangi prem patra bujhako thiye prabho! ke paar lagthyo ra tara!

Nepe Sir, Yesto double dose dine bhanya? They are awesome as always...

Aru ko anuhaar dekhera hasthis ni "Kalanki"
Aaaja afnai daat ma silawar ko taar dekhen!!!

:P
Lau jaa thokdiye maile pani, Deep bro lai kehi bhannu cha ki?

With all due respect to Nepe hazur and his thread and DEEP bro....

Here I go!!! (to deep bro) :P

Hijo samma BHAI bhanera angalo halne "Deep"
Aaaja tapai kai aankha ma yudh ko lalkaar dekhen!!

Naitik Shikshya ta Deep bro le matra napadya kaa ho ra
Uha ko aankhama Kalanki nai Niriha sikaar dekhen!!

Kunai din bolda tyo mukh bata asarfi jharthe
Deep Bro ko tyahi baa.ni ma aaja HAKAAR dekhen!!

(hehe JPT) --- I'm a runaway man before Nepe bro kicks my butt... :P

Someone who participated at the literary gathering in Woodbridge, VA asked me to post this poem here. He said this was his first draft and did not spend much time translating the technical words in Nepali language....Everyone appriciated Nepe sir's presence their..


sDd/df sDKo'6/, d:tL:sdf d]df]l/,
xftdf dfp;, ;fydf j]j af]s]/,
cfkm\g} klxrfgsf nfuL er{'Pn ;]gf agfpb},
nNsf/b} 5 ljZjnfO{ O{ýxfp;df a;]/ .

ca n8b}g uf]vf{nL ltd|f] :jfy{ arfpg,
p;n] cfkm\g} cl:tTjsf] n8fO 5]l8;Sof] .
cfkm\gf] klxrfg ljZjsf s'gfs'gfdf agfO;Sof],
cfkm\gf ;fxf;L ;]gfsf] ;ýLýdf v's'/L x}g,
sDKo'6/, dfp; / d]df]l/ n] el/;Sof] .

p:sf] n8fO ltd|f] n8fO eGbf w]/} km/s 5,
pm n8fO xltof/ ljgf g} n8\5,
s'g} wg ;DkQLsf] nf]edf x}g,
cfkm\gf] cl:tTj / klxrfg arfpg u5{,
pm o'Wb lstfj n]v]/ n]Vg nufP/ u5{,
:s"n / k':tsfno vf]n]/ vf]Ng nufP/ u5{ .

b'O{ jif{df g} p:n]
;+;f/sf %) 7fp+df ;]gf v8f ul/;Sof],
bh{gf} 7fp+df :s"n vf]ln;Sof],
ljzf}+ lstfj / kqklqsf 5flk;Sof] .

ca l56[}g} pm ltdLnfO{ etL{ lng cfpb}5,
5fdL x]/ ltd|f] sDd/df sDKo'6/ 5 ls 5}g,
;]flr x]/ ltd|f] lbdfudf d]df]l/ 5 ls 5}g,
hfpmF cg];f;sf] j]jdf ltd|f] gfd n]lvPsf] 5 ls 5}g .
)

by the way, the title of the above poem was


@! cf}}+ zbfAbLsf] uf]vf{nL

Yo Mu** yeta post garchu bhanya kasari uta parna gayo.."Bidheshi kutatwako hat khutta Pakkai cha jasto cha yesto sadayantrama"....

Kalanki ko ghacchiko gajal ho ki gajal le ghochyo malai :)...ma ni korna thalnu paryo aba..

uta bata yeta ..
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>..
hehe Deep Dai !! Maile ta samjhayeko hun utikhera belaima...testo tyo love letter lai tapainko atyuttam premko chasnima nadubaunush bhanera...bekarma abismaraniya ghatna ghatna gayo tesko phalswarup

..Kabita ko adwitiyaa sundarta unkai anamol jobanko pashoma jhundiyera abhutpurba ghatna chakrako subhagaman...unkai atulaniya komaltako Doriko Nirmam Phandako prabhab bhanau...akalpaniya prembhandar Kabitako dehanta... Tapai bata bhayeko nachahido assamyami bhabuktako pradarshan ra najayj aktiyarko prayog ...amanabiya Bidwhansha, aparampar Handigauki sarba sundari Kabita bivatsa hinmsa ...:)


Je paye tehi dya ni ...

Deep dai DC aauncu bhaner guff dine ?.

Jira !!! kata ho khoi ?

Marich hajoor!

ma yatai chu..wota tira byasta thiye aajkaal..wottai kya..hajoor baru lapatta bha jasto cha.....ki piralyo pheri DC ko traffic lay!......yuaspala dashain ma halla garna parcha chainey jo jamara padkayera..ki kaso? kawuda hanni ho? 3 ghoptey..4 ulti garni haina?
katti undhomunto layera basi ra bhanya!!! matthitira ni herna paryo prabhu...

I am informed that a lot of my fellow poets and well-wishers are visiting this thread. Now I can hardly afford to let Deep's terribly reacted line 'Chautarima kamred ko frustation' ruin my otherwise well-received reputation :-)

I am an open book in Sajha. I have bored many posters to death with my political ramblings in countless threads in the past. My magnum opus 'Why Republicanism for Nepal' (- http://www.sajha.com/sajha/html/column.cfm?extraid=622 ) and the citations therein still serve as witness to that.

On the other hand, I am not aware of any material from Deep sir to know what kind of views he holds. His occasional outbursts does not help much. Bela bela ma sanakka sankiney bhanda badhi maile kehi bheteko chhaina. ( I am a fan of his childhood stories, but that's not what we are talking about here.).

However, I realized, from a pattern of disagreement expressed in uncharitable comments to several of my poems on this forum, Deep is deeply in anguish to tell something.

So, this is an invitation from me to Deep sir for a round of a serious exchange of political views on this forum. If Deep sir is not comfortable to put his views on an open forum, I am glad to receive him on my email. Or how about a dating ?

I am really interested to meet you in person.

If you are upto a conversation right here, let's start with the poetry you found nothing but a frustation of a kamred. Why kamred ? Why can the protagonist not be an ordinary man with dreams about truth, freedom, democracy and good government ?

**************

Kalanki bro,

I appreciate your sense of humor and the way you convey serious message through it. You deserve a tap on the butt, I mean on the back.

*************

Vivasme ji,

Thank you for posting that poem. It was unique in it's uninhibited acceptance of our modernity and free from the burden of 'classicism'. And the message is clear.

It will be really nice if we can have parts, if not in full, of poems recited there to post right here for general readers.

"So, this is an invitation from me to Deep sir for a round of a serious exchange of political views on this forum. If Deep sir is not comfortable to put his views on an open forum, I am glad to receive him on my email. "

Nepe sir,
I would gladly have accepted the extended invitation for serious exchange of political views, had it-the invitation-been issued with correct judgement.

The word "kamred" has nothing to do with you, personally, or your political conviction. I respect whatever you believe in. Perhaps, I am also with you. My kamred is more like a compatriot, a friend who is confused with the chaos in the nation.

And chautara ma baseko frustrated kamred is not you. At least I was not thinking about you when I wrote that. My kamred wants to do something positive, wants to rise above the pessimism, which I thought was the theme of your ghazal, but is challanged from all directions.

The second expressions, below, was my personal experience. You don't exist in these lines. They represent me not you.

Reining the tears already freed
I lamented on failed commands
Freeing the memories already jailed
I failed on numerous escapes.

"I am an open book in Sajha. I have bored many posters to death with my political ramblings in countless threads in the past. My magnum opus 'Why Republicanism for Nepal' (- http://www.sajha.com/sajha/html/column.cfm?extraid=622 ) and the citations therein still serve as witness to that. "

This is irrelevant to me.

"On the other hand, I am not aware of any material from Deep sir to know what kind of views he holds. His occasional outbursts does not help much. Bela bela ma sanakka sankiney bhanda badhi maile kehi bheteko chhaina. ( I am a fan of his childhood stories, but that's not what we are talking about here.). "

My occasional "outburst" whatever that means are not to help you. So, if they don't then don't be disappointed. "Bela bela ma sanakka sankiney bhanda badhi maile kehi bheteko chhaina." I did not know you were looking for something. Sanakka sankine ko kura garne ho bhane Nepe sir le ma mathi ghwaplyakkai pokheko expression herda maile baru sodhe afailai "meri bassai kina sankeko ni Nepe sir yassai?"

"However, I realized, from a pattern of disagreement expressed in uncharitable comments to several of my poems on this forum, Deep is deeply in anguish to tell something. "

There is no disagreement so forget about the pattern altogether. What uncharitable comments? I have enjoyed almost all of your poems/ghazals.

Nepe sir,
You badly misjugded my intent. bhadragol kura nagaram na sir. Ma bhane Nepe sir ko ghazal bhanera hurukka hune---Nepe sir chai yattikai ufrine "bola tyo deep lai---aaja tungo launo paryo khojya ke ho telle" bhandai tyo pani sajha chautari ma---bhe na ni.

"Or how about a dating ? "
No thanks. Dari- Junga bhako sanga I don't feel comfortable.

Deep,

Hasaunu bho yaar, tapaainle.

Anyway, it was partly my own insecurity that prompted this dhwans. You can see that on heri siraan mai bhako disclaimer.

Thank you for your nice words and elaboration.

Dating ko proposal chahi still open. Kunai jamana ko kalakar pani hun. I can try doing Ms.Doubtfire.

Nepe, I have always thoroughly enjoyed your creative pieces. Thank you for posting your gazals here. I was wondering how you all have the knowledge of different use of words in gazals. Is it influenced from urdu gazals or is it part of nepali literature too? Just curious.

Gazal, poetry, songs evoke the sensitivity of both the composer and the audience. And, sensitivity is subjective as well as oft misinterpreted! We just glimpsed a rare "gazal moment" between two of my favoritest (does this word exist?) Sajha poets! :)

Beautiful as always, Nepe ji!

.Nepe, Deep et al.,
delighted the senses.

vivashme, thx for posting. Good one.

trying again...


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