Ever since I saw you I cannot get you out of my mind. You are simply beautiful :- i have never seen her
I had liked you wearing a tank top and I would like you wearing a sari, because you fit in everything :- HAHAHAHAHA ....(no comments)
I want to take you to finest eateries in town and buy you things:- LOVE MA PAISA KO KURA KINA NI ????
I can understand after few years that I would not be interested in you sexually but then there would be some other things to focus on. :- WHAT ???? you must be joking!
feeding me in bed , taking care of me when I am down etc etc :- that sounds interesting...

nice one dude....

dear usofa,

This letter does not pertain your love life, you got me all wrong...it only depicts an honest letter instead of that conventional mushy mushy kind

"We would make love along with Kenny G playing his saxophone" - i don't think Ayn Rand would approve of Kenny G playing the saxophone...
She might change it to "We would make love watching Kenny G playing with his sexophone"

my bad zalim,

I meant a cd player playing tunes of Kenny G.

well Zalim,

Ms Rand has little to do with music, she buries herself creating theories of capitalism, so she might not want to comment.

So are you saying boys can actually think when writin a letter???...The x rays says something else..ehehehehehe

i knew what you meant. i was just trying to pull your leg...

"Ms Rand has little to do with music, she buries herself creating theories of capitalism, so she might not want to comment." - Oh yea she would. She would say that all people who listen to kenny G are wusses.. they should all listen to her rant about the merits of capitalism..

well being a democrat, I would not mind listening to her either.

what does ayn rand have anything to do with being a democrat or republican?

Dear Lover wannabe:

I knew it... you were obsessed by me and now compelled into writing this wishful letter. However, despite knowing that you've been fantasizing about me, I am flattered! Well, to tell you the truth, it's kinda annoying to have this twitching on my ears and continuous hiccups accompanying me 24/7, eversince your letter. you see, I am sensitive and you are transparent, which de-mystifies my concept of infatuation.
Mind you, I appreciate your wanton lust... in print. Text has always created this boundary of security for me which I would not otherwise get.

Yes, they say I have a neck of a swan but at the end of the neck is a beak that does not hesitate to bite. Yes, my dear, my pecker's on my face... quick to rise at any hint of uncouthness from you. Not that I am saying you are, just a warning. Yes, my dear, I laugh with abandon and my smile is quick, but with each slanted smile, I will bewitch you.

My tank top is designed to keep off groping hands and my sari hides a lethal kick. So, before you make love to Kenny G's music, be aware... you may not survive the the cross hair of my seductive outfit. Next, they might be reciting "Home they brought the warrior dead". I am picky about my standard bearers.

Honey, eateries don't turn me on; cooking does. I'd slow roast you like thanksgiving turkey and smother you in wine. Then I'd giftwrap you and donate you to salvation army. I'm sure the soldiers would have a feast. I'd even ask George Bush to hand deliver you to Iraq.

Fights, I mind; banters I don't. you won't need to focus on me sexually, one look with my karke naja will reduce you to steaming noodles while your heart with sing with joy. It would be pretty embarrasing for you to board the elevator with your heart hollaring "~lop, lop me do, you know I lops U, oh pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez, lops me doooooooooo~~~"

So my dear loper, this is a friendly cautionary note to curtail your obsessive compulsive habits and find a spot under the local peepal tree and meditate upon the architecture of your navel.

Your sincere welwisher!

****************************

well, I believe capitalism favors democrats a little more than republicans. See how Bush administration threw martha stewart to jail, and the enron president being a republican came out unscathed.

hush sitara,

who said anything about you? it was only a hypothetical letter.

No offence to anyone, pls! :)

John, it was a hypothetical reply! ;)

I like your wit sitara, you are full of repartees, kudos.

In order to shake a hypothesis, it is sometimes not necessary to do anything more than push it as far as it will go.

nice reply sitara:)
loved it..

Dear Love Reciprocator Wannabe,

It's good to know that I have compelled you to express your deepest feelings. First, it's writing a letter, next a karke nazar, then who knows? One thing will surely lead to another, and just thinking about the endless possibilities makes my head spin.

I am also delighted to lean that the hiccupping is mutual. I now fully believe Aristotle when he said that love is a single soul occupying two bodies. I have never drunk so much water to quell the intense hiccups, but every drop was worthwhile because it reminded me of you.

Yes my dear, I have been fantasizing about your well proportioned and ideally situated beaker, and I would welcome its rise, especially if it is in my general direction. Ditto for your bewitching smile.

You entered my thoughts like as a guest, but have now become the host of the house. Ever since you entered my mind like an adroit secret agent enters a foreign land on assignment, I have not made love to anyone or anything, including Kenny G's music. In fact, comparing Kenny G's music to your beauty is like comparing a crow to the fairness of the Himalayan snow.

Honey, I would relish your slow roasted turkey and wash it down with wine, as if it were ambrosia handed down from the Gods. Finally, after the dinner, if you would like to ship me off to Iraq, I would smilingly oblige. But if you would instead grant me a karke nazar and turn on the melody of my heart, I would be happy too.

Please do not tell me to suppress my feelings for you, for it would be like asking a nightingale not to sing, or for asking a peacock not to dance in the rain. Unfortunately, there are no peepal trees around where I live. I hope the leafless Maple tree skeleton outside my window is acceptable. When I do sit on the freezing ground, I would rather meditate on your multidimensional karke nazar than on my three dimensional navel.

Good night and happy april 1st.

Thank you John and Ruina sis!

Zalim, very well written! :) Will reply soon!