I am from a bahun family, and the girl I love is chhetri. My MOM & DAD are educated person(both are professors) and I thought they wouldnot belive in caste system. But when I told them a love that gal, they said it is impossible. I haven;t talked with them bu they think she is from lower caste. I don't want to hurt their feelings but what about mine?? And the gal's? I don't know what to do? Would you all dare to go against you parent's decision?? I need some good comments, it is really a serious matter and I think you all guys are very good to help me out...

Naam bhane Rum
tyati sano gaf bau sanga garna chaina Dum

rum,

How old are you ? Are you old enough to decide about your life decison ? Have you completed your study ? Can you live a good life with the girl you love with? Are you sure that the girl also loves you seriously as you do her? If you answer is Yes, You can go ahead, but your parents are not happy about it. I can not tell you what to do unless I know clearly why your parents say 'No' as you said they are well educated.

Again, you should talk to your parents and explain them how much the girl mean to you. Convince them you love her and she does too. Of course, Your parents want to see your happy life. I think your happiness is your parents' happiness!

I think you need to convince your parents, I hope your parents will understand you.
Good Luck !

Dude, get some balls...
Ajha bholi ko jamana ma pani bahun and chettri....shame on our culture.
You should do what's right for you. You are living the life with her not your parents..if your parents love you, they will accept and respect your descision.. ...So, I say go for it 100%, no doubt!!

Sweetheart,

Gets some BALLS. Seriously.

nah i have an even better idea, "chullu bhar pani ma doob maro sala" and ya if ur parents think that bahun is low hire a american girl and take her there, then they'd surely get a heart attack or even an african keti for a change ani ta ur bahuni is all urs. don;t need to thank me just here doing my job.

I run my life I don't let my parents get into my business - I take advise that's about it but my life is mine not their. They are not the one marrying my future wife I am - so I need to decide if that is the women for me not them....So you decide...

It is really nice that some people out here respect their family and thier feelings. You know no matter where you go the culture goes with you and if you want to twist it a little bit then there is a big wall right in front of you. I was in your position, yours is just caste barrier mine was the whole country barrier but I told my family and they didn´t accept at first but I waited and at the end everything is fine. Believe me they are your parents and they love you, in the end they will want to see you happy. Just wait until you hear from them. I wouldn´t do anything against them just to be a MAN or trying to be cool or making it just your business. Everything you do is your parents business, they gave you education and everything you have now. I am still with you about respecting our parents. I come from a thakuri family and believe me it was like a bomb attact when they heard about my boyfriend (now husband) and now they love him. Everything will be fine. Good luck.

that's true, parents ek din 2 din risauchhan tara sadhai ta kaha risauchhan ra?
tara it's also not good to hurt their feelings.
ma chai affair chalauney ho tara parents le rojeko sangai bihay garney ho. kura khattam hehe

I liked the comments of sumankomal- I am not forgeting where I am from just only because I am here in US. I was with them for 17 yrs. They did every thing for me and never asked anything. For the first time they are objecting on something. I kno how tensed they might be feeling rite noe. I don't want to be happy just killing their happiness. I will not marry that gal without their permission. I won't marry all my life otherwise. I think that won't hurt their reputation in society.

Rum bro,

Just ask your parents, if you marry someone from your cast, can they give you a guarantee that you will be more happy with her than your intercast girlfriend. I don't think they can give you this guarantee. But you can give them that guarantee because you love her and hopefully she does too :) Besides, respecting parents doesn't mean you marry someone from your cast and sacrifice your love. Respect is not show off, this is something that you feel for your parents. Your respect doesn't vanish just because you marry someone you love. It's a shame that we have to discuss this issue while living in 21st century and getting educated in the US. The matter could be serious if she was from a different country, if she spoke a different language, if she had a totally different religion, if she had different values, morals, cultural expectations and so on. Is there anything different in your case other than her last name? Think about it dude. Respect your parents, we all should, but do we have to prove that by sacrificing your love for some stupid cultural belief created ages ago by some racists? You might as well stop shaking hands with other Nepalese people before asking their last names, who knows, if they are from very lower cast. Your grandma could get pissed in Nepal.

hyaa bahun and chettri they don't even look that different, in fact most of the time i can't even make any recognizable dissimilarities. you know what if your parents are that conservative than tell them scew you guys i'm going home.

Mr rum,

What is cast ? Does it have any physical meaning ?
You may be Sharma or Sunwar. These are familys' generation name. Still what is cast ?

Please explain me this first. Then I will advise you where or not you should accept your loved one in certain basis.

What a disturbing word....

GO FOR IT MAN !!! ITS YOUR LIFE AND YOU HAVE TO LIVE WITH THE REST OF IT. If you love and care for her and she loves you and cares for you thats all there needs to be, rest is all bullshit.

YOU CAN DOOOO IT !!!

Keep telling your parents about the girl, that way they will get used to the fact that you are serious. I think they are reacting because it is the first time and they did not expect it from you. But if you are persistent, i am sure they would not mind.

All the best

I also liked the idea to be patience. I will wait till I graduate. But till that period, do I need to get in contact with the gal. Coz If I contact her, my DAD & MOM will surely know about it. And they will react? MY parents might be calling tonite, what do I need to say?? I D K. I am afraid to talk on such things with my parents.

RUM.....BABU. ALIKATI RUM MA COKE MILAYARA KHAO RA BA AMA LAI BANDEU. YO 21ST CENTURY. JAATPAT BANNE KURA DERAI PURANO BAISAKOY. we are human being. no more no less. JAATPAT LE GARDA HOMRO DHESH DERAI PACHE PAREKA CHAN.what do you think, is bahuns are better then chetri, or anyohter cast?

Rumji, go ahead and get married. Your parents will come around, sooner or later.

Patience is the key. Do not take any hasty decisions. Give time for your parents to understand you are serious. They will accept your decision but it depends how committed you are in your relationship and how long you stay committed.

Right on!

You can take advice from anyone, simply anyone, but at the end of the day, it’s you, “BIG DOG”, who has to make the conscience decision. Always use your head while making a decision, heart should have its say but using your head is what it’s all about. Don’t go after clichés as to how wrong you are to ignore your parent advices and zillions of those inane comments. It’s your life buddy, live it the way you want to. Life is nothing but compromise, so deal with your parent as a grown-up man, and then the things should fall into places. They will give into your decision one way or the other, you are there son after all.