How many of you guys want to marry into intercast?? I know I do,
I am so called Bahun but I find Newari girls very attractive, do you people know any nice- Beautiful and well educated Newari girl who want to get to know me better.
Are there any girls who don’t give a damn about cast, and think wiser then these discriminating losers?

I appreciate your views lakhee but why are you only going after Newar girls. I think it pays more to be more open-minded. Look at the inner person behind the masks of caste, culture and skin color. After all you are marrying a person - not a culture or a community. Are you?

I know what you are saying Dautari. I am looking very wide for a good partner, I have fallen for many other cast, who are I find really really nice talk to and to be with. among these beautiful people, I really enjoyed being with a newari girl, and rai limbu girl.
But sometime it is your hormons that works as acompass, and my compass is pointing at Newari girls.
But ofcourse after getting to know a person of what ever cast, culture, color and so I may fall for her, even if she is of my own cast. But right now I am just following my compass and would like to meet a girl of other cast then my own, But I want a nepali girl.

My marriage is intercaste...............I am a chettry baun married to a newar......its a great thing............

lakhee, as you said, your hormonal compass is pointing at Newari girls. Good for you. But the questions you should be concerned about is: would a Newari girl's, or for that matter, any girl's compass point to you.

:-) Jiskako hai. I am sure you are one hunk of a guy.

my name is bhim bahadur karki,

i have married a daughter of sharki, it was a love marriage despite many social challanges

Bhim bahadur ji,

not really a great idea to post your name on sajha. but nice to hear your marriage sequence.

Ani lakhee broda, remember, there's you and then there's your prents who may have worked VERRRY hard to get you where you are today. Duitai kura khyal rakhnu parcha hai. They always ask for one thing and one thing only- a good buhari.

Social change needs to take place slowly- in Nepal, especially in Kathmandu- it's changing extremely rapidly- not a good thing.

But do what your heart and MIND tells you is the right thing. A newari girl may come into conflict with your family's bahun cultures. There will be ridicule, anger and youll have to stand despite all odds. Things aren't as easy as in bollywood.

Besides, you parents may not giver her much love, which in turn may cause your wife to hate your parents. This will cause a rift between you and your parents and between you and your wife.

Instead i would recommend marrying a bahun girl who is open minded like you and then let your kids decide who they wanna marry.

That's what I think is the right way to reach the social mix- slowly. I'm not suggesting you here. these are my views.

Intercast is something that is very important in Nepal to avoid racism. I am bahun, got married to a newar girl. Getting married to another caste can have some difficulties in the beginning because of family restrictions. Remember that your parents is one generation back to you. So they might not have same view as you have. You are one who need to prove them that intercaste is something very valuable.

believe me, intercaste relationship teach u lots of intercultural stuffs. You just need to be confident in your love and relationship.

CHYAME KANCHA,
I appreciate your step of marring some one you love from sarki family.
Nepal needs people like you and with open mind thinking.
No polticians are needed here.

I am sure all polticians are very conservative in case of caste. They might be talking of many things in public, but they are same conservative fellow when it comes to their children.

Don't u think so?

thats right lovenepalalways...................I have learnt a lot and so has my wife.......
we have broken that barrier and created a new world for us..........and as for our family..........Everyone has accepted us and treat us well................adaption is the key and not making it a big issue is the answer........we the younger generation is sure going to allow such changes in the future..........and LOVE IS BLIND also

Dear riten,
Yes that is a good question, but to find that out I need to meet one lovely girl, don't I. And that is what I am trying to do.

I am honest, loving, caring, Handsome = well that is for the individual eyes to decide, but almost every one I have met have told me that I am very handsome looking guy.
I am a good listener and..... Well if you are a girl let us chat in mail, I don't care how you look or what cast you are.

Just send me a mail in gorge-w-bush@hotmail.com by the way this is not my msn. (Just so you know). and we can share our views. If nothing happens we could always just be friends.

timetraveller,
I don't agree with you at all.

Your idea is to go ahead with things which is going on and just don't take courage of taking any potential tension. Ya, it's easy way. But thats not something you and me should be doing. Remeber your parents are one generation back, so obviously u need to convince them. I am going through same phase, but I am trying and I have succeed to greater extend. Just remember, give them love and wait for long term impact. There is nothing like magic there to see immediate reaction.

And another thing, who claims that marrying own caste girl/boy keeps parents happy? Go to pashupati nath temeple of kathmandu and Dev Gath of Chitwan. You can see tons of old parents those has been thrown by children. Definately this has been thrown by couples of our parents generation i.e. by those who were married in same caste. So there is no hard and fact rule on this that couples of same caste love their parents.

Remeber your parents and your wife/husband are two eyes of yours. Never compare them and you will always see you happy. Get married to some one who really know you and love you rather than who is from your caste and pretend to love you and your parents. And be prepared from challenges from society.

In today's case, say there are 100 intercaste marriage. Suppose if there be 3,000 intercaste marrige in a year, intercaste will be no more a new topic. And at that time, feel the love among nepalese. You will be surprised to see that day.

Dear timetraveller,

No offense but you sound very much like my dad and mom put together. But one thing parents must understand is that they find you a good wife of your own cast is because they do not know the costume of other casts or don't know their thinking and behaviors or anything at all. And people are scared of what they don't know.

They want to find me a good wife of my own cast coz they have the same costume as we do. Parents are scared that my bride may leave me if she is of another cast because of what ever......(But I believe in my self). They get worried for my future, but these days even Bahun girls leave bahun husband and run away with their BF, I have heard cases (Many cases), but that is not the point here.

A Marriage; for a parent is always a biggest thing in their life. YES, but if you look at this from my side then This joy is for two days for a parents, but this may be a problem for both me or my coming wife for a life. So Shall I sacrifice my 75 % of life for two days happyness of my parents, who will not be there for ever.

And beside who ever I marry, after marriage we will have owr own life any way.

My parents not liking my wife, has nothing to do with me, coz I am living with my parents and I will not do that even after I marry, who ever, And I know they will be angry with me for 4 days and then they will accept her. Not accepting is just a generation gap.

Beside when I had a white GF, my father was soooo scared that I was going to marry her, coz I was with her for long time. He then said, "I don't care who you marry, but don't marry a white girl. Marry a nepali or indian girl, I don't care what cast she is from." And I am willing to take that word for it, as a respect. I will marry a Nepali girl.

Anybody wants to marry with pariyar ,so beautiful educated too.

Is that you who wanna get married amankali??

No offence

Guys first keep in mind that you are marrying for yourself not for you parent.....(esp. when single family system is on rise).....
I believe that if your wife is intelligent and loves you then she sure will respect your parents despite all odds.
I know parents are a little dogmatic but an intelligent wife will take care of that .
What do parets want ?.............just a nice buhari whom they can be proud of and loves their son and respects them...................I think there will be no major problem if you find a nice loving girl......
Now a days parents point of view are also changing a lot..........
So I think caste matters to some extent but we can handle that..........

lakhee - check out this thread: http://sajha.com/sajha/html/OpenThread.cfm?forum=2&ThreadID=29371

and timetraveller - I agree with you! :)

Love just happens, you dont plan for it and when it happens u would never know it happened. So i assume it can happen with anyone with any cultural background.

When you move on to the stage of so called marraige theres ofcourse gonna be conflict if the case is love or intercast marraige. I personally feel parents always consider us as their sweet little baby and they dont buy our decision.

However, in these case GUYS should step up. They should try to convience their parents. It may take time but eventually their effort would be fruitful.There are cases where guys have left their places to live with their so called life parterns. I think thats dumb and arrogant . Think of all those yrs you have literally been fed by ur parents. There are your parents and they will understand you if pursuade them in educated manner. PEACE

IF LOVING YOU IS A SIN, THEN I AM NOT A SINNER; I AM THE DEVIL HIMSELF. ......gurudev

well said gurudev well said.................