Hera saathi. First off, anybody else would laugh this matter off. I would have done the same too but I know its anything but funny to you right now. The thing is, would any girl have said yes I've had sex before when you asked them? No. These are very intimate problems and I know it must be bothering you real deep which is why you are so publicly asking for help but you need to understand that arrange marriage itself is a very complicated way to start life. I know you must have had fantasies and visions about how beautiful your 'first time' would be and that all of it is gone because she's not a virgin but stop killing yourself over it. I know since you are a virgin, you were looking for the same and which is quite corky but reasonable nonetheless since you haven't done it. Saathi, aba sex paap ta haina. Usle dhaatyo ta ke garney? Bihey bhai sakyo haina? Timi euta raamro khaandan ko, most probably brahmin pariwaar ko keta hola. Timlai dhoka bhayeko jasto lagna sakcha tara yo kuraharu aba saamanya bhaisakyo ra virgin nabhayera kasailai hate garnu cultural haina childish and extremist sunincha. Find out if you love her, find out if she's bothered because you are feeling uneasy, find out about her, let her be, maybe ask her if it bothers you that much, try to be gentle, or even make love more, ask her whats bothering you. Basically, find out if you can fall in love with this chick and spend your life with her which is a bigger deal. If this felt like a deal and a favour or a compromise more than love then stop now because you don't want to start your life with regret and hate. Bholi baccha hola, keke hola ani ke garney? Dont hate her for what was in her past, try to see if the present is worth it. If it bothers you that much then you should be able to ask her, if you cant then its not love. 

It boils down to two simple questions: "Do you love her and does she love you unconditionally?"
If the answer to those questions are yes, then you should really focus on working on your relationship and not think about the past....
Avoid thinking about what you could have.. what you should have.. and what you would have...... (AKA wuda-cuda-shuda)

I know its harder said than done, but if you truelly want to be happy in life, take my suggestion.

Good luck.

you  need to sit down and  talk to her.....tell her to come clean if she is hiding anything, tell her whats bothering you , tell her everything you wrote here, Im sure there is an explanation, sometimes some relations are too bitter to admit or even remember. Sometimes people erase their past for a new beginning  and Sometimes imagination takes the best of people to become irrational. the more you keep this a secret it will ruin both your lives. May be its not what you think.....but instead of asking for advice here, you need to sort out your own demons have a clear mind and then talk with her. You might hate the outcome or even love it, cant live life like this bro.......clear open communication can help you and her....GOODLUCK

guys, your advice is quite helpful!
As you suggr=ested i asked myself if i love her unconditionally? answer is no, i have no love for he
Does she love me,uncondiionally? she loves me for reason not unconditionally.
 I am only worried because of my family reputation it might create problem to career of my parents as well as relation between two families, which is and was very intimate till now!
I am in a big dilemma and frustration!
 Thanks for reply guys!

Bro its hard to be in your situation. Since you are clear that you

don't love her and that she loves you for some selfish reason its

better that you guys separate. I know when its such situation arises

that you think of your family and hers but i suggest that you keep

the focus on yourself. Do whats best for you and i bet your parents

will understand. Don't worry about the society back home. Main thing

is love i truly believe if its not there then everything else

doesn't matter. I know this may not sound nice but it seems like you

guys don't have any kids yet so its ok to divorce and move on and

try to find who is open and trustworthy to you. But if there is any

chance of saving this relationship go for it. It definitely helps to

have a very open talk first. Try to clear things out first and if

that doesn't work separation is way to go. Good Luck!!!

 do u want things to work around you or do u want to work around things...........so i advice you to talk

You should talk to her with open mind and clear things out. This is the best way to approach your situation. Communication will resolve almost any problem. Good luck and hope you find peace.

I don't know what to talk about, i just want to get rid of her but in an easy way!!

Man i can feel that' its not about being virgin or not , u felt bad coz she lied to you. I think social condition specially being nepalese bound us to stay with someone n do things that we really not wanting to do. If u think u dont' love her then try to sort this out n if u still dont' have faith in this relationship then u have to leave n tackle issues with your parents' n her parent's ....divorce separation is a part of nepalese life now.. things few years ago seems like a huge issue now nothing.
More you drag more worse it becomes. talk to her try to work out. if u still feel the same man..get out longer u be in harder it be. coz eventually if u not happy in relationship it will fail. u can drag it fo so long after a while u can't take it man

 

Now looks like her confidence scares you...you keep repeating i dont know what to do and many of us gave you enough good reasons to help you. BUT it seems you dont want to  resolve anything here but to get rid of her....so do it, it will be better for her too, may be meet another man and you another woman........You dont know what to talk about with your wife yet you poured your heart out to strangers here, You dont want to fix things with her, you have already made up your mind whether its true or false. You dont want to give your marriage another chance in hopes to find that virgin girl of your dreams.....You dont want this marriage now even if she is pure. About you sex life you shared with us....Instead of feeling happy that you have a wife that can rock your world, and tries to make you sexually happy, you doubt her??? do you know how many marriages have been broken when the husband is not satisfied because his NICE NEPALI VIRGIN WIFE JUST LAYS DOWN AND TAKES IT and doesnt know a thing about pleasuring a man.....may be thats the kind of woman you want...Good luck...in this modern world with so much Internet, movies it will not take long for even kids to watch porn and see all styles... ..Man whats wrong with you, You are more messed up in your mind then the poor girl who has no clue why you hate her so much..........leave her bro...let her find a man that will enjoy her....since you cant.

No offense, but if u don't know what to talk about then i think the problem is within you. u might need a good counseling from a pshychiatrist, and by saying so i'm not trying to offend you and i'm also not saying that you are insane. it just means that sometimes situations arises, things happen and you might seek a counselor, since a psychiatrist is a professional in this regard, may be a good choice for you.
If you are still in college, you might get some counseling at the counseling center on campus. i think you need to sort out the relationship matters ASAP, else you may develop mental depressions and so on.
Gather all your courage in you and talk to her immediately and try to be very open. hopefully u can reach to a conclusion soon..
& remember getting rid of something doesnot necessarily solve a problem. you need to be able to tackle and fix the problem, not just give up! breaking a relation would give u a relief for now, but might affect u and ur partner mentally in the long run.. so think carefully!   
at last: "वार्ता बाटै सबै कुरो समाधान गर्नु पर्छ ।"

 Sorry to hear that dude but think this way, relationship is always complex esp in arranged marriage. I wont say forget what she did to you but i would suggest you to explore the last possible escort. Pour eveything infront of her. The worst thing that might happen would be "she will be upset" if that happens it would be easier for you. It might be a mistake from her side and you know how it is. In our culture, we make a mistake once and we have to live with it whole life. So dude, please go and talk to her. listen her side of story. Like i said, we make mistakes. Think twice before you take any big steps. You can leave her
 - if she still tries to make up sth to cover her lies
 -  doesnot show any kind of remorse for what she has done with u
 - doesnot show any committment for future and be adamant on her behaviour
 

brother, this is a serious situation you are in.
i just read a saying "bring it on life, i will chew it and spit it out"
well, i think if i were in ur shoes i would ask what i want. but there is more to it. its not just about u now, its also about her and yall's family.  escaping is not the best way man.  you should be able to work it out.  reading ur posts its clear that u want to leave her.  its clear that u are wearing this invisible pair of glasses from which when u see, u can only see one solution - leaving her. so, back up little bit and see a bigger picture.  u said she dont love you but is married for a reason - US citizenship, is that right? it also sounds like she broke up with her bf back home to get married with u (may be because her option is the guy with US citizenship).
listen man, life is not fair. as one grows older everything seems like selfish.  your case is complicated because of the marriage.  if u were just bf gf then u should just end the relation but now, u cant and should not end it.
lets say if u divorce her, then what u gonna go back home find a virgin one.  time has changed.  girls will have sex if they are around 25.  if u wanna find someone around 18/20 there is be issue of age gap.
dont break up man, try to work it out and it will
remember that what you become tomorrow is what u want to become
u can have a good family with her man. u need to communicate.
brother, whatever u decide i hope its for the better u and her.
i am sure u can handle what life throws at you!
Good luck mate

 honestly,i don't think you have anything to worry about if the girl is honest. just cherish her and love her and in America always be careful too at the same time. i think you'e lucky to get her. remember: 

virginity is not a dignity , it is a lack of opportunity

Trust and Respect is the basic foundation of any relationship. 
Now you do not trust and respect her.But have you tried to? Although those two are the foundation, forgiving is the key to loving. So if you can forgive her and yourself. 
Remember that its Nepal. She could have been afraid of something to tell you the truth. But now that the truth is out, you guys are already married. So forgive it since it was in the past and before the marriage.
Is there not a such day that she ever showed love to you? Has she not respected you? Try to understanding her. Most of the time we think about ourselves. Like on this one, you are thinking only about yourself, you even thought of divorcing her after you brought her her. There is also a kind of thing called responsibilty. For once try to understand and let her understand. Speak. Do not let words drown. Talk about what you feel to her.And make sure do not argue.

Tara je garda ni bhayena bhane. If you think you wont be happy dont drag it.  Finish off everything when you think.

no offense but I really don't see a problem here.

The two questions that Jai_Nepal suggested are fair but I really don't think they apply to this situation. Did you expect to fall in love as soon as you took your 7 feras? Arrange marriage ma it can take years and years to actually fall in love. Although I hate throwing out numbers like this, I bet more than 50% of married couples in Nepal are unhappy and don't even "love" each other (in the traditional definition of love) but stay together because of social norms. 2nd do you expect her to give you unconditional love? Well according to hindu mythology -- perhaps... as soon as she takes her 7 feras she will go "sati" with you if you die.... but unconditional love tyo pani arrange marriage ma is  very impractical in the 21st century...

Your main suspicion seems to have arose from the fact that she knew about sex positions possibly by watching porn or having sex. Well bro, I'm sure you've also watched your fair share of porn movies. Why do guys feel that they can watch porn while girls cannot? bro timi america ko citizen hune manchey, yesto waihat kura haru le garda ramro relationship barbaad nagara. And I fully support Thebubblemouth's point in that did you really expect her to tell you about her porn watching life (and maybe sex life) before getting married? timle bihe bhaye pachi ta judge gari ra chau, bihey garnu agi ta timle ullai herda ni herdaina thiyau.... timle ni porn herchau bhanera timro keti haru lai bhanenau hola...

timro wife le bihe bhanda paila k garyo doesn't matter as long as she is faithful to you since you've been married. arrange marriage garne bhaneko nai testai ho... bistarai love parcha....

Also If you cannot trust your wife now. You won't be able to trust your could be gf or wife later on.
Also how can a girl say that she is not a virgin to someone who she has just met or to her family? Respect her and her past life. 

@patalikopoi: Let me tell ya sth. First of all you need to grow up and assume to be in her shoes.

Won't you do the same when a nice family comes up for marriage? Yes sure you will. Btw will you tell her that you banged your g.f when you talk openly before marriage. Of course not. As you know girls have nature of hiding things. Think about none other than Kunti who hide the fact she had 6th son.

That's the way it is buddy. U live in america so you should think like that. Nowadays nepal or US, you cannot find girls virgin or without any b.f which means without getting banged. Talking about girls, village girls are even more horny as they get banged in paral ;-). unless you want to marry an illiterate girl, you won't be able to find a girl that never had b.f. Mark my words. Sex is a part of human life so you should understand that.

Now talking about your current situation, you should ask yourself what would you do if you were her. I surely think that whatever it is, nepalese girls once married, they will treat their husband as god unless they are slut or no 1 [Disallowed String for - use of word not allowed]. So stop thinking negatively and be happy that you are having a good sex life which is rare to find in nepalese girls. Enjoy your sex life in many positions as you can.
Here are the steps you need to follow ;-).

1. Go to the lonely place i.e. sth like hiking.
2. Tell her feelings that why she hid that she never had b.f
3. Tell her that you found out that she lied to you. I am pretty sure that she will cry 1000 times to ask for forgiveness
4. Start your happy sex life from there

So I hope you will make a rational decision and be happy for whatever you have. I've seen people who are unmarried although they are in 50's because they divorced their previous wife so think about it.

 reason number 2999222222 why i don't think dv lottery is a very bright idea. lot of times it brings people who are not ready to live up an American life. This dude is a naturilized us citizen and can't love someone whose not a virgin. he would be better off living in Nepal and marry someone who he was assured is a virgin. i see lots of dv winners wining about America and dv lottery all day long. sorry didn't mean to be mean here but honestly, what's the point of bring people without much security clearance and who can't even assimilate in the society and grant them permanent residency while students who are US graduates have to go home.