Once every couple of years I look forward to going to nepal. I buy tickets with hard earned and saved money, buy gifts for my relatives with so much passion...I land in Tribhuvan International Airport...Then reality sets in. As soon as I enter kathmandu, I cannot wait to come back. Depression, sadness and empathy. I feel terrible for the people I left behind. I feel guilty of having excess stuff, more than I could ever need or use in USA. I visit relatives, just to hear how backwards nepal has gone. How miserable their life is.

Travel in Bus, Micro, etc....same conversation starts...Just the look of the city which I adored has been diminished to chaos. Come back to USA then you cant stop thinking about how lucky you are, how previledged you are to be here.

Has anyone else gone thru the same thing??

Not at all but quite the opposite,

 Pixieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Where'd you go? I thought you'd eloped or something. 

(How do I send a dozen red roses?) 

 I agree with Pixie. I miss Nepal but I don't miss my extended family, no matter how selfish I sound. My mom keeps telling me that my extended family will be there when I'm in need and what not but how's that possible when they're fighting with their own blood? (cousin who doesn't talk to his own brother/sister), uncle who doesn't keep in touch with others? Further, its a really materialistic world, is it not? 

Ironically, a majority of them are financially sound and wealthy. But even then, I don't know. When I was in Nepal, I felt sadder than Gautam Buddha did when he went outside his palace. Misery, Dhulo, Dhuwan, loadshedding, lack of water, 'uncivilized' people. Not that I've forgotten my roots, which I never will but in over 6 years, I've adapted to the American culture so much that a move back home seems like a regress. My mom keeps insisting that we can make a lot of money in Nepal and how "afno matribhoomi is afnai" and I keep telling her that I don't disagree but at the same time, to secure my own future, I wish to invest in the US to secure my future so that 10 years from now, I could take vacations in Nepal, Europe, Australia and other places of the world whenever I wished. 

I'm so used to independence and popent administration that spending more than 10 minutes in the waiting line (like I had to when I was in a queue to pay my telephone bills) is a backward step. 

All that said, I miss my closest friends,cousins, uncles, aunts, family members etc but I'm happy here (albeit not colorful,yet). 

missed you too quagmire....naattt...giggidy

footyfan..exactly my feeling...visiting my extended family just reminded me why I ran away from nepal....

It is god or just fluke that is keeping KTM safe till now. At the level of contamination and pollution in the city, if a deadly epidimic spreads god help all. People are getting deadly sick (my own mom ) from so called mineral water and all the food products are produced just keeping money in mind..in other words..there is so much adulteration on everything. May be next time i should explore the world outside the KTM. I am sure there are rewarding places away from hole called KTM.

Lastly I love KTM because i have to ...but sadly i announce that  I dont like it anymore

 I reckon you're being a bit too harsh but still, I agree with whatever you've covered. 

Some of the things that I hate(d) about Nepal during my recent trip :

1. 6 am - Pani chadauna utha. 3 pm - Pani aune palo bhayo, there's no electricity. 6 pm - there is electricity - no pani. Further, ghar ma 4 ota tanky cha tara no paani. Kineko paani pani bungmati tira ko dhal najikai ko paani re. In fact, Kantipur daily ran an article about it. 

2. No Electricity - if you're there for 2-4 weeks then you probably won't care. I was there for almost 2 months. It sucked. 

3. No Nighlife - Literally. Bars gayo, too many morons smoking cigs. If you're a complete non-smoker, I think one would understand. 

4. Traffic - I almost had a meltdown driving in Kathmandu ko dhuwan and dhulo. I remember my brother picking me up from the airport and I was literally holding the edge of my seat because he was driving so dangerously (as I felt). I got used to it and had started driving 2 weeks later though. One day, the traffic from Jamal stretched all the way to Narayan Gopal chowk and I was stuck in the 3-4 km traffic for over 3 hours, literally. There was another day when I was driving in Thapathali (coming from Prasuti griha/Norvic Hospital side) and my car didn't move an inch for over 1 hour because of Prachanda's sawari. 

5. Public Restrooms - Sherpa Mall, located at the heart of most exclusive stores in the city in Durbarmarg was charging 20 rupees for the usage of the restroom. But even then, there was such a foul smell that it was beyond disbelief. The less we talked about the lack of public restrooms, the better.

6. Dirty Kitchens in Restaurants - the less we talked about it, the better. But I suppose, this was the way we brought up. I had a hard time adapting to roadside restaurants and was constantly 'moaning' about how unclean they were. 

7. Assertiveness - What do you do there? Where do you live? How do I send my son/daughter there? How much money do you make? Citizen ki student? 

Also, correct me if I'm wrong but Pixie, you sound like a girl (literally and your nickname is sort of a giveaway too). And in all honesty, I can't ever understand how or why a Nepali girl would like to go back after spending a few years in the US. It is a male-dominated shithole (literally). Eveteasing, cheesy-lame slurs are some of the most common practices. I haven't forgotten how Holi the biggest curse for women in Nepal. 

All in all, I miss Nepal and even though I see brighter future, I can't possibly imagine myself going there for good. Only god knows the future but I'd rather work hard and make money in the States. However, I do intend to spend anywhere between 1-4 months in Nepal in the future, not in Kathmandu, but outside the valley. I wish to trek the world famous Annapurna Route sometime in my life. 

Kathmandu or Nepal in general has always been the same. it had its issues before we left for US, and it still has issues - some got worsened over time, some got solved, and some new ones came up. but the fact is, it hasn't changed much. it's we who have changed. we've been spoiled by all these luxury and amenities US provides and when we go back after getting used to this luxurious life, what we have in Nepal feels worse than ever. I felt the same during my last visit but i was used to it in 3-4 days and spent more than two months with ease; in fact i was really happy to be home. My opinion is that we feel like Nepal is getting worse in every aspect because we are used superfluous comfort we get here which we can't find when we go home. Nepal or Kathmandu is not going to change overnight to make itself comfortable for us because it hasn't changed much in the past few decades and i don't think it'll change anytime soon;  it's we who need to change and learn to re-cope with the environment we were brought up in. Blaming Nepal for not meeting our current expectations is not the solution. 

Agree with Jantare, but are we gonna moan about it and wish some foreigner is going to come and fix it or do it ourselves or at least take an initiative.Most of us came America to Study and now we make fun of nepal wishing someone would fix it. Sorry to break you the news, but you have to fix your home yourself, you cant just moan about it and live in USA.Maybe i am being hypocrite, but i seriously want to go back home and do something,or take initiative on my own. We should take responsibility for our home and actions, isnt it one of the basic thing America teaches everyone?

 Jantare, you could say the same about our parents and older folks who moved to Kathmandu. I mean, they moved from villages to Kathmandu, and didn't think moving back to villages was a good option. Wouldn't say they were "spoiled". 

Its a human nature that once you make a progress, you don't wish to go back. When you have a bicycle, you might be content with it but once you start riding a car, would you be happy with a motorbike? Once you live in a mansion, would you like to live in apartments? 

Same thing with us, I believe. 

Pixie: Let me tell ya something first before i talk, you are SUCH a materialistic person. If you are a GIRL, then i guess it's normal because i have seen majority of girls turned into materialistic bi$ches. No offense to you.


Reading through your experience, i can assure  that you were expecting same customer service and politeness like U.S in Nepal which is definitely impossible because you can't compare the most developed country in the world to the least developed country in the world. Nepal can't be US and US can't be Nepal. Period. Let's hope it stays the same culturally atleast.


Furthermore,  i hate the sentence  you said with passion " I buy tickets with hard earned and saved money, buy gifts for my relatives with so much passion...I land in Tribhuvan International Airport...Then reality sets in"
Yes the reality sets in but that's where you were born and how you were raised. Atleast respect where you came from and what your ancestors taught you. Don't try to be "Wannabe" American because you will never be called "American". Period.


Nowadays, i am very keen in watching foreign movies just to learn their culture and history. Having watched lot of movies specifically Chinese movies, i learned that China had the most difficult period in the entire history of the world. They suffered civil wars among seven states. Invasion from Japan and even from British has made them so poor that they were living off streets. Poverty was so high that they had no other option than eating anything they could get just like ants, spiders, dogs etc which followed from generation to generation. Now the question is, Why did China become the great economical power next to US?  It's not because US opened lot of industries, it's because Chinese people love their country so much that they would die for it.

For instance, as we all know Bruce lee, a legend was born in San Francisco, CA. But he always felt more Chinese than American. Hence he went to Hongkong, made chinese movies and made it reknowned worldwide. If you watch lot of films,  you can watch him resist again other foreign powers. Similiar goes to Jackie Chan, Jet lee etc who love their country and could die for it.

Last but not least, instead of blaming politicians of Nepal, the responsiblity to develop Nepal falls upon yourself. If you can't contribute, please don't speak against the country where you were raised and the country who gave you the identity you are.

Peace

Sirus_Me

@ sirus_me well said , this is the version of those people, so called citizens, who can not do, and do not want to do anything for their motherland. these people do not deserve to be the real citizen. these people do not have any right to blame the country too.

 footyfan, my parents are  still in village and i'm not from kathmandu. my village doesn't have paved road like kathmandu does, we don't have shpooing malls, no KFCs but we have few chiya pasals, no movie theatres, no health posts, let alone hospitals. and still i can adapt in that little village surrounded by hills on all four sides when i go back.
btw, i used to have a motorbike back home before i came here. rode it all around the country, had fun riding it. here in the states, i have a bicycle which i use to get around the town. i carry my backpack when i go to grocery and stuff as much as possible inside it and ride back home with a 40 pound backpack on my back. and sometimes i do double trips if i can't fit everything in my backpack at once. do i miss riding my motorbike back home? yes i do, but i don't hate america for not making it feasible for me to have a motorbike or a car.

i live here in a heated, air conditioned apartment. when i went home, it was hot as hell because there is no A/C, the only A/C you get is the cool breeze of air. it was hard for the first few days, but i got used to it. it rained 2-3 days a week. muddy road, and riding motorbike on that road was not fun. i slipped, fell down, hurt myself a few times. and let me tell you what, i got into a pretty bad but lucky accident in kathmandu - was hit by a press van and was almost crushed. but do i hate nepal for having no A/C, muddy roads on rainy season and crazy traffic that might kill you? no, because that's ther real life out there. it may not apply to you because you are too used to american comfort but for me, i love being back home. nomatter how dirty, dusty, unmanaged, and "uncivilized(as you might say)" Nepal is, it is still the place i grew up in.

it is human nature to want and progress more. i agree with you on that. but if one seeks all the good things and tries to stay away from challenges and adversities just because he thinks it's hard and his "human nature" doesn't want him to do that, that's just rubbish.

I visited Nepal in 2009. There was 20 hrs load shedding

1. If you are ready to spend 3000 $   you can have 8 cfl lamps, computer and Tv running. with solar electricity. 
2. Very big problem of water but there is a way, if you have a land  where deep boring is possible, one need to spend about 30,000$  
you will have 24 hrs running water. ( but you need to have a place where you can do deep boring.
3. These days you can arrange utilities payments through banks.
4.Bars/rsturents, hopeless I tried some of them it was bad experience. So we brothers agreed to have party every alternate day at home, chickens, khasi ko masu, chiura salad ra beer. It is possible all you want to eat fro approx 20$/person
5. You can visit local [Disallowed String for - castist reference]i resturent ( some of hem are really good) enjoy good food for 10 dollars (except beers)
6. Most important to have is relatives
7. I spent 45 days. use bike. no car. and dont use public transport from 8 am to 10 am and 4 pm till 7 pm (rush hrs) avoid that .
8. Yope, thats our country we grew up in that environment when we were kids NRN visiting us used to say that about us but we managed to excel in education able to go abroad and mark our presence. Now we are saying that to others living there. one day they will do the same. it is a cycle.
9. I enjoyed the  visit. 

I prefer to go back to Nepal and Serve my own Country.
Being as a immigrant, we are always a second class person in USA, which is what i hate hate hate most most most.
In Nepal, my house has 24 hour electricity-coz generator, 24 hour cold/hot water-coz water/solar line, one bike or public transport to travel, Dad and mom, helpful relatives and friends, have a great respect from juniors. The only problem is traffic jam. I don't think there will be any problem eating at bhatti, local momo/samosa pasal, which is what i prefer most. I prefer to marry to same Nepali girl who hadn't seen "naramro- outer world".
I would setup my own business or/and work in private/government job. I don't like to work here as a lowing paying job and never.

This is my personal feeling, it varies with other person's judgement,background and circumstances.

We, nepalese, are a bunch of f**king retards. None of us love our country enough to die for her or even serve her. All we know how to do is complain, complain, complain. Reality is harsh but in order to get Nepal out of the sh**hole it is in right now, everyone of us has to do something not just talk about it. The older generation has done enough talking. It is on us, the younger generation to do something and make it better. What do you guys say??

i wud understand if u were born abroad but isn't that where u come frm? u go there to visit not to live so quit comparing 'n compaining...thats how people survive over there....go there to visit ur family, frens, ur loved ones...ain't that why u go there? or u just wanted to impress 'n show off?
idk about u but i saw awesome restaurants in ktm....plenty of them...'n they were clean
bars in thamel were amazing

I agree with all of you. There are pros and cons of staying in America and going back to Nepal.
After staying in US for five years, I have decided that I won't return permanently at least till the situation improves back home. Life is short so we should enjoy it but staying responsible. Its nice to go back for few weeks to visit family and go for treking; that way you will not miss Nepal and yet enjoy the free life in America.
We are second class citizen here but think how this place has changed in a good way...

 "I have decided that I won't return permanently at least till the situation improves back home."
Well, guess what? Nobody is going to improve situation back home. Like I said earlier in this thread and in other threads (previous threads that existed before you were born on sajha), it's you who need to learn to re-cope with the environment you left behind or work yourself to change the "situation". So called patriots and politicians have done nothing for past few decades besides talking and I don't see why I should expect them to do something good now. Everyone like you and I wants Nepal to be developed so that we can go back and live a good life like we are living here in the State but there are only a few who go back and at least try to make that happen. Are you wiling to help those who have gone back? Are you wiling to work hard back home to make Nepal prosperous like you want? I guess you are not because during your 5 years of US stay you've "enjoyed the free life in America" so much that you don't have guts to go back and face the challenges you used to have for your breakfast and dinner. And moreover, you are too happy here being "second class citizen" and enjoying "how this place has changed in a good way", arent you?

Mother Teresa once went to India and said that she saw "happy poverty" I think what she meant is that people do not have to be rich to be happy. The western style of life brings too much micro stress to daily life. Personally I am tired of this lifestyle here. I would be much happier back home. I do not want to be second class citizen here. Actually I am already planning on going back home. A few more months and off I go...Yippie !!!!

Here is a case of philippines

Despite poverty, crisis and corruption, how is it that the Philippines is still considered one of the happiest places on earth? 
 

 Here are a few filipino perceptions  I liked

1.  We are content with life's simple pleasures.

2. We are an optimistic lot.

3. It is our nature to be happy.

4. We are used to all sorts of crisis.

5. We are resilient and patient.

6. We face everything with a smile.

7 .Being poor can be a blessing.

8. The poor have simple needs and they are easier to please.

9. Happy go luck


In context to Nepal I agree with Jantare and anon .Its about time we face our challenges ourselves. If we don't do it then who will???   If not now when ???

Please don't be a lil sissy and whine about the country when you have decided to run away and leave the problem to someone else.