http://www.parakhi.com/blogs/2011/12/02/petty-and-unprofessional

Petty and Unprofessional

Dear Saani,

Thank you for finally writing on this topic. It was long overdue.

I too am sick and tired of the double standard that Nepali men have in the workplace, home and even in sajha.com.

I came to sajha.com to be nurtured, feel encouraged and to grow, like you did.

But, as you have put it, in sajha..."The ‘professional’ realm here ends up being more of a gladiator’s area for egos where the biggest douche-turds survive."

You have only to look at this thread "Do you still believe in God and/or religion" and see the above was going on untill Budmash got involved and set those two jokers straight.
http://sajha.com/sajha/html/index.cfm?threadid=94254

That was also long overdue. Being a woman, I naturally didn't want to get involved in the fight. But I had a mind to exchange a few words with those two as well. It was a relief to see that there are still men like Budmash who stand up for injustice and are ready to fight against it. As you can see in this thread in sajha, Nepalese have been tolerating injustice so much and so unwilling to 'fight for their right to....paaarty' that our neighboring countries are all encroaching on our land:
http://sajha.com/sajha/html/index.cfm?threadid=94673

And as usual, we Nepalese can't seem to do a damned thing about it. It seems our cowardice and unwilling to fight against injustice, when we see it, is catching up to us and is costing us the nation. Oh well, that is just the story of Nepal, isn't it? What else is new? When will Nepali men have the balls to fight for what is right and just? Lord knows us Nepali girls are getting damn good at it.

Indian men rape Nepali girls in the brothels of the red light districts in Bombay every day. India encroaches on Nepal's borders and rapes Mother Nepal day after day after day. Nepali men cannot protect either their Nepali girls from being raped by Indian men. Nor can these men protct Mother Nepal from being raped by Father India. So I ask you, Saani, of what use are these Nepali men? Is their commitment only to protecting their frail and petty egoes?

Why are we, Nepali women, giving so much respect to these weak and cowardly Nepali men who cannot protect either their daughters or their Mother from being repeatedly raped by neighboring Indians? Is the job of these brave gurkha Nepalis to only watch the pornographic entertainment happening to their family, with popcorn and soda in their hands? Are we, the daughters and mothers of Nepal, only there for the men for their entertainment?
http://sajha.com/sajha/html/index.cfm?threadid=84085

Us Nepali girls have a lot of pride in our actions and words. What some people, especially Nepali men, need to realize is that those who have no shame in their words and actions, and say whatever they want, and do whatever they want, whenever they want, also do not have any pride in their actions and words. There are no two ways about this. This is something that women around the world have mastered, but men are very very slow to understand. I pity the men. Especially those Nepali men with a very low class mentallity.

So I too would like to restate a lot of the things that you have brought up.

1) Your fellow Sajha-mates are not your inferior:

Those men who are more respected here in sajha than others should understand that the respect for them comes with a responsibility as well. If you do not live up to your responsibility, your respect goes out of the window as well. We, the women, are not here for your ego boost.

2) The Men in sajha.com are not always right
 
The men in sajha would also do well to understand that they err. Being human, we’ll understand when others mess up because we all mess up on occasion, but not willing to admit that you’re sometimes wrong is not only infuriating and unproductive, like saani said, it is also down right immature.

3)  Give credit where credit is due
 
What drives me up the wall here is when you’re not given credit for your work. When a person carries their duties and responsibilities in an admirable fashion I am of the thinking that appreciation is due for a job well done. Instead people with egos the size they believe their cocks are won’t applaud you for the effort, they’ll criticize for the most minor of things, and not even in a way that it’s constructive criticism which would be much appreciated!

So what that means, sajha-guys, is take some time to utter words of respect and appreciation to the women here in sajha. You all don't have to like me. Heck, none of you have to like me. But, please take the time to show respect to the women in sajha that you do appreciate and respect. You will set a standard for the kind of qualities in women that you want to see. Why don't you men set that standard instead of simply spitting at women who don't meet your standard?

4) Team work works
 
Regardless of whether you’re a Nepali man in sajha.com at the bottom of your sajha's hierarchy or not, I think the simple thing we were taught in elementary school still applies – work together. Sajha.com isn’t the right environment to puff your chest and walk around as if you possess powers inaccessible to the rest of us. Those at the so called-bottom need those at the so-called top and vice versa. One end doesn’t complete their work and it’s disaster for all.
 
I’ve clearly had bad experiences in sajha.com so far. I’ve worked and I’m running out of decent opportunities for positive exchanges here. That is unfortunate for both the positive members of sajha and for me. Maybe it’s not the same for everyone and if you are a woman in sajha and completely disagree with what I’ve said because you find sajha to be professional, courteous, respectful, nurturing, compassionate and loving to you, please tell me on which threads in sajha you found this. I will be visiting these threads very soon after I write these words.

Interesting, Saani Kanchi and Rashika Kanchi, interesting and thought provoking.  Not that I agree with you hundred percent, but most of what you say is valid.  More power to you.

I just wanted to say that before vultures and hyenas come to feed.

Thank you Nepali American. Thank you for showing that you are a Nepali man who has the courage to stand up for what you believe, without caring for the uncouth opinion of the "vultures and hyenas."

Rasika I have full support for the empowerment of women but I suppose like any two different human beings we will always have our differences.

Specially when it comes to religion. It seems like you are a religious person your mind has been influenced by hundreds of years of conditioning so you have prejudice against someone who does not believe in religion. It is evident by your pointing out the condemned 'two' from the religion discussion and elevating the hindi ukhan repeating lunatic who can't even defend his own statements, to a heroic position. (LOL)

Just like you ladies need respect, we non god fearing, not fantasy believing, not fanatics, need respect here in sajha from the religious fundamendalists who want to impose their thinkings onto everyone and casting those who don't think like them as the villians, without any logical or reasonable explanations but sheer contempt from their blind belief of the super natural god.

Why are we not able to put forth our points and opinions without being targetted by a god fearing mob who don't have any logical or reasonable points to argue with us?

This god fearing crowd has been the major cause of most killings in the world and now it is taking form in sajha as Homeyji, Budmash and Rashika the self proclaimed saviors of the imaginary God that gives them sweet dreams at night. You have every right to dream and imagine whatever you want but please spare the others who don't think the same way as you.

Long live the ability to think beyond age old religious fanaticism. Long live the power to see beyond the limitations and boundaries of man made religion which bounds our brothers and sisters and makes them fight against each other.

Last ma Jai Nepal ni thokey hai

My Dear Rethink,

Why do you feel you deserve any respect? I am not disagreeing that you deserve respect. I just wanted to hear your reasoning. Do you feel you deserve love, respect and adoration no matter what you say or how you act? Is there any standard you have to abide by in polite company or do you demand respect where ever you go and how ever you act, like the King of Nepal used to?

Personally, I believe in deserving something before desiring it. But that's just me.

Who knows, maybe I'm just weird that way,
Rasika Kancchi

P.S You seem to believe that everyone who disagrees with your opinion is religious in some way. This doesn't show paranoia of some sort, does it?

Aadarniya San dai,

Hajur lai jhukera Namaskar.

Dear San Dai, I believe that we all, in sajha, deserve respect in sajha, as long as we abide by the standards that you have set. To the degree that I have not lived by your standards, I deserve disrespect. And to the degree that other people, religious or not, have not lived by your standards, they deserve disrespect.

San dai, to the degree that your standards don't respect all those in sajha who deserve respect, you deserve to be disrespected. Such are the rules of impartial justice. I didn't create those rules. But, I, Rasika Kannchi try to live by it.

Do you have problem with that?

With much love and respect for you,

Your little laati sister,
Rasika Kannchi

P.S San dai, that was very clever how you commented on this thread and then made your comment disappear after I replied to you. I suppose you are the 'God' of sajha and you can operate by different rules than the rest of us "mortal" sajha members do.

 Honestly, i really want to write A LOT of  things for our dearest Rasika Kanchi, but i know it won't worth it because 

बाह्र वर्ष करायो करायो, दक्षिणा हरायो हुन्छ तिमि लाई !!!

As for as the term "respect", yes I respect women here in sajha and everywhere else. Have you ever heard about the user "Crazy_love", I bet almost everybody(99%) people appreciate her. She has the reuptation that she will get at least 500 views on her thread on the first day. I respect her, appreicate her and adohre her.

And you dear rasika, I would say my true opinion about you and unfortunetly you look like an "idiot" to me who doesn't want to learn at all. In this context this applies to you and only you. So you want us to show a respect toward you, do one thing first, repeat "I am an idiot"  at least 10 times before going to bed each night for at least 90 days. Trust me it will help you to realize that you had missed many oppourtunities in your life to learn and grow further. Being an idiot is not a bad thing itself (I also throw idiotic behavior sometimes) but  not  admitting it and resfusing to learn from others(doesn't matter men or women) will block you eyes to see a wide and long horizon.

 One more thing, you want respect  "Gain it" dear....

My dear Rakshas,

How well has chanting that mantra before bed, worked for you? Any good results? Please share.

 I Knew it already..

and now i don't argue with you anymore cause i know

"An idiot will bring down to his/her level and will try to beat you with his/her idiotic experience"

Over and OUT.

 And yes that mantra did work for me....Happy now???

My dear Rakshas dai,

Thank you for explaining. But I was curious.
Rakshas dai, did you choose the wording for that particular mantra because of the sajha name you chose for yourself? Or is it a general statement about your life outside of sajha as well?

@behoove_me,

When you write comments it seems you're writing a Ramayan story.

Please write  Choto n mitho n Tito

Once again, behoove me flattened the kanchhi's stinky ego like a floured tortilla.

Dear Saani,

You might be tempted to conclude that because of the behavior you are seeing in this particular thread, that these men are not saintly or intellectuals of the highest quality.

No, my dear Saani. These men are actually amazing bidwans that were raised in great and wonderful families by parents of great character. Know that you are seeing these bad qualities in these men, because you, as well as I, are 'dimwitted broads.'

Isn't that convenient?

Just go on watching. The fun has just begun. Nepali men don't even need a professional work environment to show their true colors. They will do it right here for us in this thread. So sit back and relax with your favorite cup of Nepali chyyaa. Or would you like some popcorn and soda, sister?
It is high time that these men prove their usefulness. Perhaps entertaining us at work, home or sajha is all they are good for. Lord knows they aren't good for much else for either Mother Nepal or their Nepali daughters.

Ok, c'mon men, start acting like monkeys, quickly please, guys.

Saani, I'm sitting here snapping my fingers to get these monkeys to start thumping their chests, start oohing and aahing and screaming like baboons. LOL. I'm wondering why it's taking them so long. *Snap* *Snap* *Snap*
C'mon monkeys, c'mon baboons. Start doing your thing.

Saani dear, you're going to see this movie right here on this thread. Satisfaction guaranteed!
https://www.youtube.com/user/apeswillrise

Golly gee, this is going to be fun. I wonder it it's going to be a horror movie or a comedy. Giggle. Hey, it could even turn pornographic. *blush*. Anything but a religious movie would make me happy. Those are so boring. Hmmm...what a mystery. I feel like a little girl at the movie theatre that doesn't know what kind of movie is going to play.

Your little sister,

Laati Rasika Kanchhi

I can see the effect of behoove me on kanchhi. She is gradually losing her sanity.