Hi,

I just thought of sharing this to you guys, hope you will take it positively.

I got married in Nepal year 2005. Before we could start to live our life , so many problems arose that i didnot find anything good to live with this marriage. Therefore after six months of time, i asked for divorce with my wife and her family they said, they will never agree. they dont want divorce.

Something i found in Nepal news.com which is similar to my life is:

"Divorce does not always cause harm to social order. Sometimes it becomes
the only way out for married couples who find it difficult to give
continuity to their relationship and seek a way-out"

Now its almost 2 years of time that they are not ready for divorce, and our situation has got more worst. now there's no way that we could be together again but they are forcing and insiting to keep this relation.

They are saying i can go to the court and file for divorce, but to do that i have to go to Village District Office, and than to the court whicy may take 3 or 4 years of time!

Is this the way people want to live in their life, i am totally shocked, if my wife is ready we can get divorce may be in one day. now the problem is she is not ready which means if i follow the process will take upto 5 years.

What do u think guys?

Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

Get out of your bubble .

duke get off the sauce, you pathetic soul.

Zees ! -- Zews - Sauce - Curse - -not a good combo !

Mr. Hero, life is full of compromise. Analyze what went wrong? Try to learn from mistake. Seems you are not matured enough.. Dont let her go! There exists solution for every problem..
Imagine your sister were asked for divorce after six months of marriage. What would you and your parents do? Your wife's family are doing the same. And they are doing right thing. Dont call it unfair.
Dont run away from problems, try to ease the problems and live happy life.

y the f00k did u get married in the first place

If both r happy divorcing then for the f**ksake why these bunch of ugly idiots have pain in their as*.
Get a life f**ktards!
wish u all b in same situation and u will kno wht the hell is hell!

This might be helpful to all in FUTURE.

- http://www.gottman.com/marriage/self_help/

Enjoy roaming around the site, doing the tests and all.


John Gottman is no ordinary feel-good rah-rah researcher.

A mathematician turned psychologist, he uses differential equations to 'model' what makes marriages work or fail. I first heard/read about him while reading Malcolm Gladwell's book "Blink".


Here is Gottman's book for the mathematically inclined:

- http://mitpress.mit.edu/catalog/item/default.asp?ttype=2&tid=8757


oohi
ashu

Man, I think this Nepali hero just made up this story out of thin air...just to agitate ppl. Oh well, have fun debating.

Well guys firstly thanks to all for making it very much thoughtful and sensitive.

Let me express a bit, As most of you say, Why the hell i got married if i didnot love the girl, you guys are absolutely right. it was my mistake to do the arrange marriage.

For me mistake is a mistake, but it does not mean that whole of my life i have to live with something which is not the will of my heart. You guys are used to it, its the part of your tradition and bondage but not for me.

Compromise needs in life which brings fullness of love if theres hope and future. But what if its not there! And for those of you can live with compramise who think life is a shit and u feel that your life is not yours because u think somebody else is the master of your life.

If you want to say I' m not mature thats right, everybody at a time goes through this. but i dont lean on your judgment or understandings.

To Brain malfunction, You need to see a doctor to check your ceribrum because thats the place in brain where all your wisdom is stored, seems its empty, better you refill some. If you want to know what i would do if it happens with my sister, I would ask her to forget the past and make a future of her own. life does not ends there. its upto you how important you think present time for you beacuase we are all guests of this world. And if you want to be happy in present leave the unhappy moments.

SOLVE THE PROBLEM IN THE RIGHT WAY, IF YOU ARE COMPRAMISING THAN YOUR NOT SOLVING IT. compramise applies in life but theres some situation in life where everything has limit!

Do i have to ask anyone to give me FREEDOM? thats all i want. Everything happens in God's time and i am sure God will restore her with everything that she dont know yet or has not yet expected!

Dont feel hard- be blessed.

If I open my mouth this thread will be thoughtless So i'll shut up :|

I didn't realize divorce was still so taboo, judging by the responses here. Granted its a last resort, but it's not the end of the world for either party. Doesn't this mentality have to change - where women in troubled marriages are forced to live with their abusive husbands just because divorcing him would "degrade" her in society? And men who want to divorce like NepaliHero here are vilified for destroying somebody's life?

Whatever happened to people getting second chances in life.

Hi Nepali Hero,

Well my suggestion for you will be to first try and work out the issue. I mean try to analyze and see what happened between you and ur wife which led you to divorce. Marriage is a bond between two hearts where not everything works out the way you want (Sometimes). But there are times when you need to compromise even though it's not your mistake. So if possible, then try doing that. Talk to your wife and see how you both can resolve the problem. (1st solution)

Secondly, I will suggest that you rethink about your situation and talk to your heart. Question urself: "Do I really wanna do this"??"Will this really keep me happy"? If the answer is "YES" then go ahead and file a divorce even though it will take 3-4 years.

I understand that in our Nepali culture we need to respect our parents & families and take their suggestion. But life is not always about them. They have helped you all your life to get education and to see you happy in ur life. So, "Nepali hero" it's that time of ur life where you need to decide what is good for you? Leave aside "culture" or whatever. I personally think that hamro nepali culture le arkako khutta tanna bahek aru kehi jane ko chaina. Otherwise we would have been far ahead in our country’s development.

So, "Nepali hero," leave aside "nepali culture" and think about what is "BEST" for you and act accordingly. I am sure you have heard this: "Follow ur heart." It's better to file divorce now (if this is what you really want) rather than thinking about it over and over and then not getting any where in your life for another 5 years. At least you will be happy and live ur life after that.

nepal_hero

You will not get a gal if u divorce her. Ta mmuujjii ko llaando kira ley khancha... Ani talie koi pani paudai nas. Tero Ghar BUKAMPA ley bhatkau cha.... Ta barbad hunchas saalaay SUKUL GUNDA... Bhihay aagadi kina sochinas...... Ta sanga khei adikar chian tero current wife ko jindagi barbad gar na...

BUJJISHHHHHH

One2Three,

I thank you and Appreciate your opinion.

Something that was not usual to our society will happen now and people have to accept changes and enlarge their vision. Instead blaming the society , culture and tradition people should be responsilbe for themselves and find themselves accountable.

what is good: BATTLE or PEACE ?
one who is against my divorce is like a person who is ready to battle his life for always and will get nothing at the end and the one who is favoring my divorce is the person who seek peace for everyone connected in this relationship. Anyone who wants peace is a wise man but theres only few of those in our country!

i have read all the advises of this thread and would like to thank, brain malfunction, Foe4mysty, Republican and one2three.

I repent for the mistake done in my life and looking for 2nd chance to build my life. The pain that i have in my heart is not less than i see my life breaking into pieces. Guys is there non here who had divorce in their his/her life?

I am praying God will give strength and wisdom to my wife whom i want to divorce. i want God to give her happiness that she is looking for.

Even in this time Why divorce is so hard in Nepal? I have had called them up and asked them about divorce but they said NO! now i have got lawyers who are preparing papers and looking a way out of this.

My question why nepali people used to live with problems, why? when this habit will be changed? of course theres so many problems between us unless otherwise i would not want to get rid of them.

Now what about the people and society they will blame me? they will say oh look at this guy he spoiled her future? what if it was in America would it be the same case?

Is this tradition, culture or society? no one of this is uselful to any individual when it comes to his own life but why people stick to worthless things.
I feel proud to be called Nepali although i have canadian citizenship but in nepal there is no value of my happiness and therfore i dont feel like going Nepal.

You know guys i have got threats of life but i am not scared or afraid i will do what is right and speak truth. Generally when u speak truth people cant bear it, peple want to enjoy in lies and spend their life in darkness.

I will keep infromed my story as it goes. Atleast some of you should know how the battle of life goes on. will i win or not? will i get the chance to live with my happiness. freedom or not? i am fighting for my life. i know i will win so as she by restoring her life of own.

Thank you sajha for your support.

what the hell are you doing mr nepali_hero. it seems that you have already made your mind so why ask the question?

One more relationship issue?? Hmmmmmmmm
I feel sorry to hear about it. Man, it might be hard for you. Sure I agree with most of frens who wrote its or culture, tradition and Nepali style, at the same time, its YOU who has to suffer whole your life and our culture can not make it any better.....

When u r sure that u dont wanna spend your life with her I THINK THE BEST SOLUTION is to divorce. Even if u guys dont do so, I guess your life would be pale. Moreover, you cant do justice to her coz she will never get your LOVE.

Keeping Neali culture aside, I think u should really think about life and other things, when people talk about such things why in sajha everyone talks about NEPALI CULTURE and NEPALI CULTURE....?

Do you guys think all the Nepali girls are same? I mean why we stereotyped everything.. and everyone. Some are good, some bad, like everything...One thing I guarantee is marrying a NEPALI GIRL is not GUARANTEED happines.

I really do not know what is the reason behind your DIVORCE? And what made you change your mind so quickly (just six months), why didnt u give enough time before it?? there r many things to know before we suggest you...

Whatever, we get one life and its not good to spend whole life with someone who is not fit for you.......Be it MISS WORLD, MISS UNIVERSE or NEPALI WIFE for that matter....!!!!!


----------P. E. A. C. E.----------

This song goes out to you bro......

लाली जोबन भरीदा टमक्कै
राम्री पाउदा परियो गमक्कै

साचो कुरा होइन यो झुटो
बीहे गरे हतारै हतारमा
फुर्सदमा लाग्छ पछुतो

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nepali hero seems to be very obsessed with this divorce thing. Cut the crap, leave the girl and get a life I dont think u are not 'God' for chrissake that your wife will stick with u even after all this ill treatment.

Are you by the way threatening to your wife by saying look I have even posted our problem and we sure have to go to divorce.

Freak, some mistakes cant be undone. Example when crossing road if truck hits and you die, you cant ask truck driver to say sorry pal I wont repeat again. What are u trying to clarify by saying "apologies!! but can't I?"

The time has come for a change after waiting so long to find a way out between us. Enough is Enough, She is not agree to leave me afterall. All these time i was trying to mediate with them, making them understand of all the problems and directing them to look for solution, but they have promised they never will change, neither their thinking will.
I welcome whatever it may be from their end. It seems they are prepared of War, fight, for voilant situation. Do you think i will bow down becuase of their power and strength?
Shame on me if they feared my heart with their thretens! I have taken my stand alone, i will live with my freedom, with my will and independently.

Now, I have filed the case of DIVORCE, wait ahead and see what happens, I am sure i will be alive to put notes on the struggles that i choosed to go through!

As the das of Victory of my life comes near i know i will be set free although i may have to sacrifice few more years to begin my life, but let it be in a clean and straight way!

Thank you all for sharing with feelings but there are some wicked thoughts here which i am not concerned!

God bless you all and he may satisfy u with your life and all things on the earth!

Nepali hero, if u want to call it youself, you can!

Divorce is never FAREt.