Say "Ram cha"

From http://inashrestha.blogspot.com

 

Different Phases of a man:

After engagement: SUPERMAN
After Marriage: GENTLEMAN
After 10 years: WATCHMAN
After 20 years: DOBERMAN

 

 

A man, who surrenders when he's WRONG, is HONEST.
A man, who surrenders when he's NOT SURE, is WISE.
A man, who surrenders when he's RIGHT, is a HUSBAND

Last edited: 15-Feb-08 11:46 AM

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For http://inashrestha.blogspot.com

 

I've written a poem for you :

Twinkle twinkle little star,
you should know what you are,
and once you know what you are,
Mental hospital is not so far.

 

*****************

 

P.S. - Anyone interested to contribute on this blog plz catch me;

 

inashrestha@gmail.com

 

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• पानीमा ह्विस्की मिसायो भने नशा चढ्छ, पानीमा रम मिलायो भने पनि नशा लाग्छ। पानीमा ब्राण्डी हाल्यो भने पनि त झन् भन्नै परेन । साला, यो पानीमा नै केहि गडबड छ जे मिसाए पनि नशालु बनाउने।

महको हाँस्यब्यंग्य "रङ्ग नंबर " : अडियो मात्रै 

boomp3.com

For more Audio visit;

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शादी पर वाइफ बोलि: आप मेरे 'प्राणनाथ' और में आपकी 'चरणों कि दासी'।
शादी के बाद वो हो गया 'चरणदास' और वो हो गयी 'प्राणों कि प्यासी'।

 कभि कभि मेरे दिल में खयाल आता है,
कभि कभि मेरे दिल में खयाल आता है,
आज नहिं आया,
कहा ना कभि कभि आता है...।

***********************************

Like more jokes, visit

http://inashrestha.blogspot.com

मह जोडीको "पत्रोत्तर" हाँस्यब्यङ्ग कार्यक्रम भाग १ र २

• Which is the most confusing day in America?

...
Thinking?

...
Still thinking?

...
Fathers day! You dumb ***.

 

 

 

 

• १९८० की लड्कीयाँ: माँ, मैं जिन्स पहनुगीं ।
माँ : नहीं बेटी, लोग क्या कहेंगे?

...
आजकलकी लड्कीयाँ: माँ, मैं मिनि स्कर्ट पहनुगीं।
माँ : पहनले बेटी, कुछ तो पहन ले!

 

• What a RIP OFF!

I saw a book in the store titled: 100 Mating Positions.

I took it home, sat in my room, opend it.

Damn it...It was a book on CHESS!

भउते

Bhaute ( नाम पारिवर्तित) is driving along the highway one evening when all of a sudden nature calls. He sees a little bar up the way and he pulls into the parking lot.

When he gets inside, he finds the place is packed! The bar is crowded with people trying to get drinks, ladies are dancing on the tables and there's hardly standing room anywhere.

Bhaute scans the place a couple of times to find the restrooms, but to no avail. Finally, he spots a small stairway and scrambles up.

When he gets to the top, he discovers that all the doors are locked. All but one. When he opens the door, all he sees is a big hole in the floor. Desperate, he drops his pants and dumps the biggest load he's ever had right there in the hole.

Relieved, he calmly walks down the stairs. The once crowded barroom is completely empty, not a soul was in sight. Slowly, a bartender rises from behind the bar.

"What happened!?!" says Bhaute.

The bartender responds "Where were you when the shit hit the fan?!"

***

http://inashrestha.blogspot.com

 

 

ओइ! तेरो बाउ खोइ?


उहिले भउते अलिक जवान छँदैको कुरो हो, उतिबेला भउते नामूद जंड्याहामा गनिन्थ्यो । हुन पनि उस्लाई जाँड नखाई नहुने । गाउँ भरी रक्सी खाएर उधारो माग्न कसैलाई बाँकी राखेन। लमिनि दीदिले पनि कतिन्जेल धानुन्, धेरै भएपछि त्यहाँ पनि उधारो दिन बन्द भयो। जाँड खाएर रात दिन हल्लिए सी खल्तिमा पैसा भएन । जाँड खानलाई पैसा नभएर घरको सामान पनि बेच्न भ्याए हाम्रा भउतेले । अर्थोक गरुन पनि के गरुन त्यो भन्दा बाहेक अर्को विकल्प थिएन । घरको सामान पनि बेचिसकेपछि केइ सीप चलेन भउतेको। उसले अनेक बहानाबाजी गरे, नाटक गरेर पैसा झार्न नसके पछि भगवानको शरणमा जाने निधो गरे । त्यो डाँडाको पल्लो छेउमा हालको हाम्रो यही चौपारी नजिकै एउटा मन्दिर थियो। त्यस मन्दिरमा एउटा ठूलो हनुमानको मुर्ति थियो ।

त्यसदिन भउते मात्तेकै सुरमा मन्दिर पुग्यो । अनि उसले हनुमानको मूर्ति अगाडि हात जोडेर प्रार्थना भन्ने कि के भन्ने गर्न बस्यो। जाँड खाएकै तालमा भन्दै थियो, "हेर्नुस् भगवान, ह्याँ पनि घोर कलियुग लागेछ। केइ नभेर अब मैले यो गाउँमा उधारो पाम्नै छडिसकें । त्यो लमिनि दीदिले समेत नपत्याम्ने भए । यस्तो पनि हुन्छ त। घरको भाँडाकुँडा पनि सकिइ सक्यो । अब मैले कि त अर्काको चोर्नु पर्‍यो, कि त जाँड खान छोड्नु परो। चोर्न त म जाँदै जान्न, मरि गए जान्न। तर... यो जाँड पनि त छाड्न सक्तिन। म त चाइने जो तपाईंको शरणमा आको छु। अब हजूरले नै मलाई पार लाउनु परो। भोलि म फेरि आउँछु त्यति बेला मलाई केइ पैसा दिलाइदिनु पर्छ । होइन भने म ... म... तिम्रो यो मूर्ति-सूर्ति फूटाइ दिन्छु।" मान्छे बहुलासि के लाग्छ र। नानाभाँति भनेर फर्कियो । ती सबै कुरा त्यो मन्दिरको पूजारी बाले भित्रबाट सुनिराखेको रहेछ । पूजारीबालाई पर्नु पिर पर्‍यो के गर्ने भनेर । आखिर उनले पनि एउटा उपाय निकाले ।

भोलिपल्ट भउते रङ्गिन भएर ढल्मलिंदै मन्दिर पुग्यो । फेरि त्यो दिन पनि हनुमानको अगाडि बसेर आफ्नो गुनासो पोख्न थाले, "हेर्नुस् भगवान, यो मान्छेको जात नै बैगुनी, जति धोके पनि नपुग्ने। आज पनि मैले ढाँटेर पिउनु परो, यसरी कती दिन चल्ने ? तपाईं आफैं भन्नु त यो पनि राम्रो हो र ? अब मैले हिजै भनेको थिएँ मेरो लागि पैसाको बन्दोबस्त गरिदिनु पर्‍यो प्रभु।" भनेर ढोगे। मूर्तिको पछाडि लुकेर बसेका पूजारीबाले फुत्त दश रुपैयाँ दाम फालिदिए। जब भउतेले टाउको उठायो , आफ्नो अगाडि पैसा देखेर दङ्ग पर्‍यो; "ओहो, कस्तो आश्चार्य। मैले पैसा फेला पारें । धन्य प्रभुको लीला । अब यसैगरी सधैं हजूरको निगाह ममाथि परोस्। म सदैव हजूरको शरणमा हुनेछु। मैले के भनी राख्नु पर्ला र मेरो पीर मर्का सबै तपाईंलाई थाहै छ। जे होस् यसरी नै मेरो खर्चको जोहो भैराखोस्, नत्र ...।" जाँदाजाँदै उसले धम्किको भाषा प्रयोग गर्न पनि भ्यायो भउतेले । पछाडि बसेर सुनिराखेको पूजारीलाई अर्को आपत पर्‍यो । उनले शायद यो समस्या एकचोटीलाई हो भन्ने ठानेका थिए तर उसले भउतेबाट यति सजिलै छुटकारा पाउँला भन्ने आश लागेन । तैपनि पूजारीबाले राम्रै हुने सोचेर चुपचाप बसे । भोलिपल्ट पनि भउते मातेर आयो। भगवानलाई ढोगेर उठ्ता भउतेले पैसा भेट्टायो, ऊ मख्ख पर्‍यो, तर धम्काउन छाडेन । एवंरीतले हप्ता हुँदै महिना नै बित्यो, भउते मन्दिर आउने क्रम छुटेन । अब भने पूजारीलाई साँच्चिकै अप्ठेरो पर्‍यो, यसरी कति दिन चलाउने भनेर किनकि भउतेले पैसा पाएन भने मन्दिरमा भएको हजारौं पर्ने मूर्ति फुटाल्ने खतरा भइ नै रह्यो । भउतेबाट छुटकारा पाउन अब केइ न केइ गर्नु पर्छ भन्ने लाग्यो पूजारीबालाई र अन्तमा जुक्ति पनि फुराए । उनले त्यो ठूलो हनुमानको मूर्तिको साटो त्यस्तै खालको सानो मूर्ति राखिदिए मन्दिरमा । आर्को दिन पनि हाम्रा भउतेको मात्तिदैं सवारी भयो मन्दिरमा । उसले यताउति नजर लगायो कहिं पनि हनुमानको मूर्ति भेटेन । केहिबेरको अलमल पछि उसले सानो हनुमानको मूर्ति त्यहाँ भएको थाहा पायो। भउते त्यो सानो मूर्तिको अगाडि बस्यो र मूर्तिको कान नजिकै गएर सानो स्वरमा सोध्यो,"ओइ! तेरो बाउ खोइ?"

 

source: http://inashrestha.blogspot.com

No offense what so ever, but now???

I welcome all comments but no harsh wording please. I've nothing to do what the people think of me, but these jokes are just for fun. I admire all the individuals for their dignity. If you want respect from others, please you do the same in first place.

Thank you.

:-)>  

 

Why did you hit your husband with a chair?"

"I couldn't lift the table."

XXX-XXX-XXX

"My wife doesn't know what she wants."

"You're lucky. My wife does."

XXX-XXX-XXX

My wife is always talking about a trip to Europe.

I have no objections - I let her talk.

XXX-XXX-XXX

Should women have children after 35?

No, 35 childrens are more than enough!

 

The Hindu version of Democratic race in 2008!!!

Guys in that Ram Cha Video,  what is Guptachar saying in Newari language, can u translate it please.

 

नेपाली रुपान्तर:

तेरो बाउको टाउको रावण! तँ आफै गएर हेरे भैहाल्यो नि, मलाई के को टेन्सन । तँ आफै गएर हेर ।

(गल्ती भए कृपया कसैले सच्याइदिनु होला।) 

Once upon a time Bill Gates after earning his fortune with microsoft got married. and he decieded to take her wife on honeymoon in hawaii....i guess they had a good first night..

Next morning ,his wife says ,,bill now i understand why you named  your company microsoft.

PRICELESS WORDS

 

A husband wakes up at home with a huge hangover.
He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees
is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table.
He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and
pressed. He looks around the room and sees that
it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table.
"Honey, breakfast is on the table, I left early to go grocery shopping.
Love You!"

Totally shocked with the note , he goes to the kitchen and
sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper.
His son is also at the table, eating. He asks, "Son, what happened last night?"
His son says, "Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious.
Broke some crockery, puked in the hall, and gave yourself a black eye
when you stumbled into the door". Confused, the man asks,
"So, why is everything in order and so clean, and
breakfast is on the table waiting for me?
I should expect a big quarrel with her!"
His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom,
and when she tried to take your clothes n shoes off,
you said,

"LADY LEAVE ME ALONE! I'M MARRIED!"

Moral
Self-induced hangover - $ 400.00
Broken crockery - $ 800.00
Breakfast - $ 10.00
Saying the Right Thing While Drunk – "PRICELESS "