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Oranje
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Posted on 10-30-09 5:41
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THIS IS JUST MY STORY. I FEEL FOR EVERYBODY THAT IS MADE TO SUFFER LIKE I DID.
I dont where and how to start. It feels like my heart is going to burst. Wish i had never loved anyone so much. How can someone that meant world to you just leave you hurt. I am going crazy. Its f***ing killing me. I am losing my sleep my hunger and everything. Wish she knew what she meant to me. Anyway this bitch just left me in the middle of no where in the middle of a ocean and i have very few chances of reaching the shore. What the f*** am i supposed to do. You know what i am strong. I will reach the shore hoping some stranger will come and resuce me. Not a single drop of tears droped from my eyes when she said she was not in love with me anymore and she has found someone else who loves her more than i did and even makes her feel more special. Still i feel like there is a sea is infront of me. Dont know it is from my tears or water. Hell no it aint my tears. Well maybe those are tears from my heart that i never saw coming. I am optically disillusioned ,brainly washed, emotionally killed. Wish i could have used her as she did to me. I am not a toilet paper use it and flush it, may be i am. Didnt she just flushed me. I just might be a toilet paper made with human feelings. Man i could never do that to her. Maybe i should have done that to her before she did it to me. What the hell am i thinking, how can i even imagine that i should have done that. It doesnt make any sense. I loved her,.. I know she loved me too. How can someone change their heart so fast. It not like she is a prostitute i paid money for few hugs and kisses and sex and banged her for 15-20 minutes and ask her to tell me how much she loved me and what i meant to her. And after finishing it all, the world is same, she doesnt recognize me and i dont either. I loved this girl more than anything else. Maybe not that what she told me. She told me not to call her and keep bugging her. Why would i do something that she doesnot like. I would never do that to her. I just checked in to see how she was doing and how is her new life clicking. She says me she was never in love with me. Looks like she has developed a forgetting habbit along with her new found love. I was not the first one to say how much i loved her. She was the one. She did. That bloody bitch did. I was not the one who bunked all my classes for my lover, she did. I was not the first one to be upset if she didnt found a time to meet me. She was the one. I always wondered what was that she liked in me. I am not super handsome, i was a average guy who was never in love before. She made be feel so special. She used to tell me how i used to come in her dream everyday.Was that all bullshit or was that for real. She even told me how she went to a temple asked with god to make us happy and together for thousand more life to come. I beleive in her so much that i was falling for her. I thought she was the reason i never was in love with another girl. I feel like a f***ing joke now. I aint giving up that easy, because i know i deserve better than that bitch. Its not like that there is no other girl who would like to share her love with me.
P.S. POSITIVE COMMENTS ALWAYS WELCOME, NEGATIVE COMMENTS NOT NEEDED NOW...
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NO PROBLEM MAN
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Posted on 10-31-09 11:02
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Life is a game "Either play or get played".
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