Abortion and contraceptive education.......right or wrong? My view is every woman should have to right to choose with what she wants to do with her body! What do u think???

Some of the strong point that was written by our sajha writer..........


Tisa wrote:
"Foetus is not a baby.I think more importance should be given to a woman and her health and choices rather than a foetus because it is a woman who is bringing it to life."

....ya that's true, if she is unhealthy or not ready take any responsibility toward the unborn child.....she got the right to make the decision.


Ponte wrote:-
"80% of decision makers regarding abortion are men...100% of them will never experience pregnancy."

...That was hilarious but very true too.....hahahahaha....stay cool dude.


Sweetiepie wrote:
"Too bad, men don't get pregnant.......otherwise women could say the same things to men! That would be fun! "

...hahahaha...but thank god, men don't get pregnant....coz i'm also a man....i just can't imagine going thru all the suffering that a woman has to face just b'cos they make a wrong move...i'm not trying to be sarcasm.


Rythm wrote:
"Men dont ever go through the same pain and emotional trauma ... they can even back out of fatherhood... but the woman is always punished for what she did......"

...that's true and very sad too.

Sitara wrote:
"Let's take care of those LIVING before we politicize the issues of the unborn and the rights of the woman's body!!!!! "

...she definetely got lots of strong points....should read what she has wrote.....u go gal.


Pieces wrote:
"Yes thats what I am iterating about, Conditional Abortion. If it is practiced for overall wellfare its fine."

......cool dude....that's what we are all arguing for....we are in the same boat.


Applause to you guys........cheers.

Hey pieces

dude....what ethical are talking about.....Is it human ethical to give birth to a child just to prove that they are human and have a heart, but later dumped the child in an orphanage or in a garbage. Have you ever tot what kind of life they might gonna lead.....will they have a good education....will they have enought to eat.....will they have sufficient clothes to cover their body.... will they have enough love and tender that every single child desrve to have.....will they be somebody someday....!!! Do u think these children are also getting their ethical for some wrong thing that they did not do. In fact they are the one who are going thru the mental and physical suffering......regarding this issue SITARAji has elaborate very well and meaningfully.....if the couples are not ready to give full comitment and dedication to their child then i say they should be given the right to abort the baby.... before.....more and more mistakes and inhumane is done upon the child. Moral,Rules and Principles are not always correct.....sometimes we have to think it with our mind and come out with a logical idea.......Anyway rules and principles are mean to be broken if it doesn't work with your life.

You are right dude....."Science is not always right"......In fact science itself is a curse or blessing depending from which point of view you are looking from and how you implement it in your life. It's true that due to great achievement in science, human started creating nulear bomb and weapon to kill each other.....that's very sad.....but if we look from another point of view, due to the advance in science lots of life has also been saved....and lots of sickness has also been cured...due to that now-a-days people are living until very old ages and it is also one of the reason why the proliferation of human being in this earth; one day the land will not even be sufficient for the human to live on. Just wonder without science and there happen to have an epidemic diease spreading around.....we won't need nuclear bomb or weapon to kill others.....they sure will die due to the diease itself. But if we used science in a correct ways, we will definetely benefits alots from it. In the same way.....taking the advantages of the science we can applied it in the case of abortion too. From my point of view....aborting a feotus is not an evil deeds to do.....in facts it's the right right to do if they are not ready for it or due to some ill circumstances .......rather then bring a little life to face this cunning world alone. With the help of science, parents today's can know how is the condition of their child. They can even know the sexes of the child. But again unfortunately, they will abort the baby if it's a girl......and that's really disgusting....But still it's the parents choice and their right.....if they want son.. so let it be.....rather than giving birth to the girl which they did not wanted at the first place....in this way the girl don't have to come into this world to be ill treated and discriminated by her own parent.

So friend science can be a curse or blessing depending how u bring it into used...!!! Everything in this world have pros and cons.......but we have to see which one weight heavier........before judging or giving opinion???

definitely it is right!thats why its legal...i dont thing it should be a part of debate!cos its legal and right

Great realistic points guys! Pieces, when a fetus is in the womb I don't believe it can think that way as u would imagine........but what the mother might ask herself, "Am I ready for the baby? Can I raise the baby with full responsibility? Can I provide him/her with sufficient needs? That's more important. When the baby comes out into the world only then it can actually sense and feel everything....he/she might ask his mom later why did she gave birth to him/her if she was to abandon her/him and left alone to live his/her life by themselves. It's a sensitive issue but unless our society can change u can't blame only women for aborting! I just got this email from my friend regarding BUSH trying to appoint Dr. W. David Hager to head FDA. Even in USA, groups of men are trying to stop this..........in the name of religion......ridiculous! I would prefer science than religion at this point!................

"pro-life" who refuses to prescribe contraceptives to unmarried women
President Bush has announced his plan to select Dr. W. David Hager to head
up the Food and Drug Administration's (FDA) Reproductive Health Drugs
Advisory Committee. This committee has not met for more than two years,
during which time its charter lapsed. As a result, the Bush Administration
is tasked with filling all eleven positions with new members. This position
does not require Congressional approval.

Dr. Hager is the author of "As Jesus Cared for Women: Restoring Women Then and Now." The book blends biblical accounts of Christ healing women with case studies from Hager's practice. His views of reproductive health care are far outside the mainstream for reproductive technology. Dr. Hager is a practicing OB/GYN who describes himself as "pro-life" and refuses to prescribe contraceptives to unmarried women.

In the book Dr. Hager wrote with his wife, entitled "Stress and the Woman's Body," he suggests that women who suffer from premenstrual syndrome should seek help from reading the bible and praying. As an editor and contributing author of "The Reproduction Revolution: A Christian Appraisal of Sexuality Reproductive Technologies and the Family," Dr. Hager appears to have endorsed the medically inaccurate assertion that the common birth control pill is an abortifacient.

We are concerned that Dr. Hager's strong religious beliefs may color his assessment of technologies that are necessary to protect women's lives or to preserve and promote women's health. Dr. Hager's track record of using religious beliefs to guide his medical decision-making makes him a dangerous and inappropriate candidate to serve as chair of this committee. Critical drug public policy and research must not be held hostage by anti-abortion politics. Members of this important panel should be appointed on the basis of science and medicine, rather than politics and religion. "

Who give damn to bush..... he is idiot in himself. Being president doesn`t means he is intelligent. Neither we need to talk big name when we talk about our small Nepal. Lots of people always give notion that talking about big guys makes them big...

As for abortion, agrees with few people who supports in conditon that if its case of some rape, health problem...then girls can get abortion

and as for getting abortion just because they can`t give life ... or un prepared or whatever thing ... there can be thousands of excuses, but those questions have to think before having pleasure. if you are having sex.. then you must also be prepared for the consequence rather than to make comments like condom was broken one ... blah blah.. Have you seen birth process in animals... they don`t give birth after storing enough foods...then how can human here rising their voice against giving birth without right future is not good... if people are not prepared to have baby in their life...after being prepared for sex...then we are missing a link here. Before challenging Nature I think people should consider more. if you girls hate so much of being pregnanat... then why you love sex soo much... no sex ... no babies... no abortion!!! As for men they will stick with the ones who loves kids... sex

guys, lets hear from somebody who has been through abortion, a pregnant woman who is happily ready for abortion? a woman is never happy to kill her baby, and mostly like poonte said, abortion is forced rather than it is by choice..

isnt making ourselves worthy of happinees, is known as happiness? i dont know how deep you all think abt the issue of abortion, but it is a complicated issue.. how can one say that life inside the mother's womb isnt thinking? ppl being pregant and being a mother is not easy, you have to be a vicious murderer to kill ur own child...

but again, performing a good will, which as Kant says, sud be good for today, tomorrow and forever is a hard choice ..there we see sense of morality colide with us human being, can we do such good? do we have to be morally right everytime? or sud we try to be morally right, as much as we can ?


and Sitara, dont want to join this topic to that, but didnt u say murder is a murder :P so arent u a PRO LIFE ?? :P :P dont contradict urself now .. :)and did you know you would be called as a LIBERAL, by what you just stated :) ...dont go crazy now, i am just having fun with you ..

btw guys, watch this movie called "KYA KEHENA" with preeti jinta and saif ali khan..there lies some education for all those ppl...

and my opinion on abortion is IT SUD BE LEGAL!

dude, clickerclick, i do love kids, but wud never want any, as if for sex..god!! who cud even live without it ?? :)

Confused honey: Do yourself a favor. Don't confuse your definitions with my definitions and we might(perhaps,) be able to carry on a simple conversation if not a complex discussion.


Keep Rocking, thank you! Here is a thought if every pro-life ranter, adopted one destitute or disabled child/foster child, it would serve their purpose.

SITARA,

You may have the means to raise an adopted kid. Not everyone here in this conversation are rich enough to do that. Many of them are still students who barely can support themselves. Just because some one is pro-life does not mean that he/she needs to go adopt a kid. You can be a pro-life or not. But you HAVE to be a good person who is financially, emotionally, mentally and socially capable to adopt and raise a child. It's not as easy as coming to this forum and expressing their views. One can still be a pro-life and be really bad at raising kids. They are two different things. You work with kids and it is surprising that you are pro-choice, or it seems.

sweetP

SweetP Exactly my point! If YOU can't provide for a child don't impose your prolife choice on a mother who knows SHE can't provide for her unborn!
As for working with children... you'd be surprised by how many homeless and abandoned children I have worked with. By the way, have you ever seen a crack- baby? And if you don't know what that means, its a baby addicted to crack-cocaine because its mother was a crack addict.
My dear, giving birth is not sufficient, giving love, food, shelter and if you have a special ed. child, giving adequate care factors into giving life! Idealism is indeed a novel idea!

Wanted to put my two cents worth, may be more... because it is some two years old.

( - http://www.sajha.com/archives/openthread.cfm?threadid=3952&dsn=sajhaarchive )


All creatures, including human, are robustly programmed by nature to want to have babies. Actually, the instinct of reproduction is one of the fundamental design on which life is based, with which it has sustained billions of years of evolution on earth.

Therefore we have the nature's guarantee that humans are never going to lose the reproductive instinct, no matter what. Therefore there is no reason to worry whether those limited cases of the termination of unwanted pregnancies pose threat to human life as a whole. Abortion is a threat to nothing.

Is abortion immoral ?

Yes, if it is anything but termination of UNWANTED pregnancies and if it is decided by individual OTHER THAN the woman bearing the fetus.

Why the voluntary decision by a woman to terminate an unwanted pregnancy is moral ?

Because there can not be a moral standard higher than that which ensures well being of the new life. The first and foremost condition for the well being of a baby is that it should be being WANTED. Wanted not by the Pope or the chairman of the World Hindu Parishad, but by the very person who bears, give birth and raises the baby.

Imposing unwanted pregnancy to a woman is immoral and ugly. In retrospect, it destroys the beauty of motherhood. Yes, having no option for terminating unwanted pregnancy destroys the beauty of motherhood.

Should there be a restriction/condition imposed on abortion ?

The only condition that should be imposed is that it should be a case of pregnancy unwanted by the responsible woman. That's all.

What about late pregnancy, should it be a condition ?

No. A decision by a woman to terminate her late pregnancy is itself a proof telling how severely UNWANTED is that pregnancy. Trust the nature. A woman will always feel an emotional bond to the fetus inside her womb. Any decision she makes on the fate of that fetus is the best indicator of what she must be going through. As a rule, there is nobody more trustworthy than the woman herself. Trust her.

What about gender based abortion prevalent in North India and now being practiced in Nepal too ?

It seems there is (in this thread as well as at the national debate in the country !! ) an unanimous opposition to the practice of abortion of female fetus. Therefore, prepare yourself, what I am going to say is going to shock all of you.

I think if it fulfils the only condition for abortion I proposed above, i.e., it is UNWANTED by the PREGNANT WOMAN HERSELF, then nobody has right to force her to give birth to the unwanted fetus.

I know upon this statement, all proponents of equal right/respect to women will jump on me. Let me tell you this- I am a hardcore supporter of equal right/respect to women. and I think the freedom to choose the gender of a baby is the only natural way to eliminate discrimination against women in our society. Before you point out the self-contradiction of my statement and/or you think I must be insane, let me explain my theory.

Women are oppressed and discriminated in all stages of their lives in our society. The story begins right from their birth. Daughters are discriminated by parents, because they are UNWANTED. Imagine what would be the situation if they were somehow WANTED. Of course, they would not be discriminated and would enjoy all the care, love and respect that a WANTED son is entitled to. Therefore UNWANTEDNESS has a causative relation to the discrimination. Therefore, if you want to eliminate discrimination against a born girl child, don't force the mother to keep an unwanted female fetus. Only when a parent really wants to have a daughter, then only you can be sure she gets everything a child should get.

Now the scary thing is what if ALL or, let's be realistic, majority of the parents decided to have sons only ? Wouldn't an unbalanced ratio of men to women be problematic ?

May be so for men, but not for women.

For women, that will be the best time in the whole history of mankind except for those primitive maternal societies at the beginning of human civilization. Scarce number will make women valuable, wanted and respected for the first time in our society. Problem of dowry, property rights, equal opportunity will be vanished and we will be reading them as a history. We will be talking then about discrimination against men, abortion of male fetus, dowry from groom's parents etc. The entire game will be played by an opposite rule. That will be a golden era for women.

Okay, let's not go that far. But certainly, at one point during such process, the society will come to an equilibrium of equal importance of men and women. And that too in a very natural way, without uttering a single word to educate conservative parents of our society. Think about it.

Sitara, first of all, thank you very much for not going crazy on me ...yah i also agree with you on your views, i have not yet worked with any children, but someone dearly close to me has, and beilive me she use to tell me the stories .....haha, and plus certainly dont want to argue out here, but was just re-stating what you said ? :P

nepe dude, do u even read the thread or just come and give out links for "two years old" disscussion...what you have pasted above have been stated many times, by many diff ppl in this same thread..

btw, has anybody watched KYA KEHENA ...

Dear Nepe, I agree with most of your points...but I don't agree with a husband choosing to abort a daughter if he doesn't like it. What if the wife gets pregnant with daughter four times in a row! She can die...therefore I wouldn't prefer that point. Women just aren't birth machine.......they are a human being too..just happens to be dominated by race called "MALE"

Hey Clickerclick.....if u don't know about what the relation between BUSH and nepali abortion clinics then u just better keep quite dude! BUSH is trying to cut all the fundings for clinics and that includes all the clinics that it helps too...that includes Nepal too....!
Let me tell u, as a human being both men and women have sexual feelings as we all know....only fault of women is even though both of them have sex only women gets pregnant not men.....isn't it their both fault? Men are even easily ready for sex ....hmmmm.....they are the ones who rape, make women pregnant and leave her etc..it's not women who rape and leave men dear..... How many times do I need to tell these guys.....have a little shame before blaming all on women! Dude, if u could get pregnant I would say the same thing to u too keep in mind ! Would u accept that challenge? Do u have enough guts just to be pregnant let alone raise a baby by yourself your whole life? It's easy to say than to actually be in that situation.......It's men who have several wives or mistresses (therefore loves more sex )not women........did u forget that??? If the government and so called pro-life people would adopt each of these homeless kids (instead of choking women) and take care of them then homeless children wouldn't be alone and die..... ! Why don't they take care of the children that are dying before forcing women to bring forth more.......

F*CK EH DO WHAT EVA U LIKE ,,,,, AND HOW THE F*CK U CAN WRITE SO LONG , CANT BE BOTHER READING
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EXCEPTOIN OF "ASHU"

Sweetipie, Thanks for telling me the relation between the Bush and clinics in Nepal. You must have done quiet great calculations..Bravo girl. I think if we just hear you, you can relate everything to America... your calucaltion has focal point as america dear... Now if you have to complain about women being preganant and not men... then sweety dear would you please complain it infront of the god....yeah you can complain about it infront of the mandir... cause we can not change it can we... Okay I say I am ready for being preganant but will it happen ... nope no...and as for saying men are easily ready for sex.. its same with women too nope... cause man have sex with women ... so there must be the involvement of women too nope. And as for saying man are responsible for rape...are we discussing about men with some some problem in their head or you are talking about the normal healthy man.. if you are talking about some criminal minded men then I have nothing to tell you...cause their mind is still the mystery for the entire world nope... and as for saying men have rights to marry 4 women... well there are some cultures who support them still and yeah there are still some culture where women can marry 4-5 men in Nepal. If killing foetus is soo okay for you then why shall we people have to charge with murder case when someone throw their newborn baby in bagmati. you know what she must also have gone through emotional stressess before killing newborn child too nope. wanna raise some voice in that too?

'What a beautiful and classic piece of posting.. What an original argument' .. bhalaan bhnera post gareko ta, yo chhusi Confused laai chahi sankina pari halyo.

Anyway, Cofused dude, you really seems to be confused. You wrote:

nepe dude, do u even read the thread or just come and give out links for "two years old" disscussion...what you have pasted above have been stated many times, by many diff ppl in this same thread..

So you are displeased with the possibility that I might have not read the thread. Fair enough. Then you go on and say what I have posted above has been already stated by the posters in this thread. Alrite, let's assume I have not read the thread and the posters here are repeating the same thing I posted some two years ago. But then why on earth I should be reading and re-reading the things I have already posted ? Why can't I simply say, look I have already said those things you are saying now ? I don't see anything wrong with that.

That was just for the sake of argument. The reality is I happened to have read this thread. In fact, I have read some other threads too. Actually, that is how I could very confidently give you the title of a chhusi poster, Confused Dude. It was not your reply to my posting alone.

Let me add this too, posters like you have degraded Sajha so much that San had to resort to very un-Sajhaic option called 'Writer's Guild'.

Back to my posting. Confused Dude, read my posting again. There are things which no posters have yet stated or argued. If you have difficulty to locate them, let me know, I will help you with utmost pleasure.

****************

sweetiepie,

I know we are on the same side. However you wrote:

but I don't agree with a husband choosing to abort a daughter if he doesn't like it.

No, I did not say that. In fact, one of my major points is that nobody but the woman bearing the fetus should have right to decide about it. And I called the instance of husband taking the decision immoral. These are my words:

Is abortion immoral ?

Yes, if it is anything but termination of UNWANTED pregnancies and if it is decided by individual OTHER THAN the woman bearing the fetus.

Now, how about a woman herself taking a decision such as selective abortion, or even worse, four in a row ?

Of course, you are right. She would be risking her health and may be emotional health as well. We should always encourage education that is pro-life, pro-health and pro to all the good and ideal things in life. This part should never be compromised. However, when it comes to the matter of the legal right at the end of the day, it belongs to the woman who is bearing the fetus.

So, here is the balance, which I hope answers the questions from both ends.

Education: Pro-life
Law: Pro-choice

Nepe

Hey Nepe, good points...yes we are on the same page buddy! CHEERS

Hey Clickerclick.....good thing u now know a thing or two about abortion and its policies before judging what I say! Why u always feel like I combine Nepal and America? It's your hatred towards nepalese in US. It's nothing to do with me hating u. If u think clearly u will understand. U thought BUSH and Nepal's clinics aren't related right...see there's a realtionship and that proves I am not bragging dude! It's your paranoia.....Yes, I do read a lot about abortions because I care and as a woman. Try reading few buddy......u will find lot more issues that u haven't even heard of!

Yeah because u know u'll never be pregnant....u will never understand what pregnant woman go through.....u are using that advantage to hate women when at the same time u are enjoying (sex) as much as women. Where does men go when it comes to responsibility and punishment ha? U are not a GOD to put a finger on women....... when u are done enjoying her. Even your normal healthy male likes to have a lot of sex dear....1 man vs. several women. U are hilarious u say there are cultures who support men having 4-5 wives.....that includes our culture right? A man has a full choice to accept that culture or not....that still makes men more sexual right? Are u kidding that Nepali women get to keep 4-5 husbands? haha! NEVER HEARD OF! Do a little research buddy!

Well if that woman who threw the baby in the bagmati had the choice to have an abortion earlier....then neither she would have that much emotional stress nor arrested! That's why it's so important to abort if she think she can't afford to raise it. Why bring it to the world when she ends up throwing it away. A fetus isn't a full grown baby and can't drink milk nor play..nor think or cry...whereas a newborn can do everything. That makes it a crime to kill. So, why don't we give women a choice? What role does the father of the dead baby play in this case? Is he anywhere to be seen? It's only woman's fault right? Especially in our society, it's a big taboo to be pregnant before marriage therefore women have lots of fingers poined at her(as a result it'll be hard to get married, parents, friends, family will hate her etc) whereas the father of the baby walks around as if nothing happened.....is that fair clicker? Be bold to say that it's men's and government's fault to......don't just ignore this big issue!

nepe, no where interested in debating with ppl like you, because the sense of "I", you have within you all, totally seperates from me from you... but you insisted, so therefore here it goes: (i dont have spare time like you do to write long long posts but i will try as much as i can..) and yah nepe, trust me, if i start calling you names, probably you wouldnt like it, must have read my posts when i collided with rameshbabu, so do understand that and beware..to give respect dude, please earn it first..


is abortion immoral ?

Yes, if it is anything but termination of UNWANTED pregnancies and if it is decided by individual OTHER THAN the woman bearing the fetus.

moral principles are those laws and behaviours of the nature of the good, and immoral is defined as contrary to the moral laws so there should be no "if" or "But", while defining immoral. moral philosophy deals with ethics, concepts of right and wrong, and good and evil..and while performing a ethical conduct, there should be respect for others and also a duty to the God, who has the ultimate power over moral system..

Hence, that was just for the sake of argument too..

and ohh yah nepe dude, as you mentioned i have degraded sajha, i will be more than happy to leave this place if the guy who authorizes this place comes and tells me to do so. until then, nor you or i know who has degraded sajha, IT MAYBE YOU TOO?? so consider urself as a degrader rather than pointing ur fingers to me..

"There are things which no posters have yet stated or argued. If you have difficulty to locate them, let me know, I will help you with utmost pleasure. "

sure do me a favor and locate them, will be glad to read them..

Sweety dear.... seems you have lots of anger to clicker LOL... well as for answering 'Why u always feel like I combine Nepal and America? It's your hatred towards nepalese in US'.... well its because of the examples you give... the logic that you presents... and who said I hate Nepalese in US.... you don`t even know where I am nope... these are few things that makes me laugh at you. You judge things very fast. As for saying man can not become preganant, infact we people can not change our roles nope.... neither man can take women`s role nor women can take men`s.. so isn`t it be better if we stop complaining about eachother and look at the things that will make life better. Hey why you think that baby in the women`s stomach is only hers. Don`t take that every husband is bad guy. do you have some personal experience or what? for coming down to men so badly. As for considering women... I did stand for the right to abort if she has been forced to be preganant like by raping or if she has ill fate in her health. and infact legalising abortion doesn`t solve the problem it will just come in another form more devasting one.. Like women aborting babies 4-5 times will be common ... and do you think that it will make women liberal ..nope... it will just make them more vulnerable ...what will be the mental and physical condition of the women who will have 3-4 abortion...can you imagine that...
and as for saying that in some part of Nepal women are still allowed to keep 4-5 husband ... for saying that is false then shame to you you don`t even know the Nepal yet... you need to do some research baby!!!
Before saying someone wrong .... do some study okay darling!!!

Here i would like to emphasize that if a couple is in a marriage than the woman alone got no right to decide about the abortion.....she definitely have to discuss this issue with her husband and together they have to come out with the solution. if she really wanna abort the baby then she has to give a valid reasons to her husband for doing so. It doesn't mean that just because it's her body she can just go ahead for the abortion without letting her husband know. When a couples is in a marriage it's also mean that their heart and soul should also be one. So whenever any party wanna take a serious action then they have to discuss the issue with each other. It's also a away of respecting each other. if both party start doing what they like then the marriage will not work....!!! Instead the issue will become more complicated. Your husband can never trust on you in the future. I know that there are some career minded women out there who give first priority to their work and then their family. If you are not ready to take responsibility of having a baby and your husband insist on having the baby then you should make it very clear that he have to take the responsible of the child rather than you.....he have to do more of the task of taking care of the baby than you....if needed he should be the one who should quit his job instead of you....if he agree with all that then problem is solve.....there is no reason of going for the abortion....believe me there are some men who are willing to take of the job of motherhood just becoz they are very fond of the baby......and here we are talking about his own baby. So ladies, do discuss the issue with your husband before jumping for the big conclusion.....if only the husband is a Male chauvinistic Pig and see thing in a very old fashion way then i have nothing to say about....it will depend on the girl how she gonna win her husband favourism. Try to enlighten them by telling him that both of you are not ready to take the respossibility and can't give in full commitment and dedication which will lead to the child suffering and inproper brought up etc..etc... just give them your piece of mind why u think it is not right yet to give birth. I know it wouldn't be easy task.....but seriously....do give a try before you come out with your final decision becoz in the end the final decision is still yours. But if your husband insist on having the baby and is willing to take all the resposible then atleast you don't have to go for the abortion.

If it's out of the marriage than the woman has the sole right to do what she think is right for her.