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 Teeja ko lahara aayo barilai
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Posted on 09-17-04 8:37 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Teeja KO lahara aayo barilai...

� Triiiiing� � Triiiiiiing� my phone rings early in the morning at my little apartment, I get up from the bed reluctantly, wondering who might have called at that time. I answer the phone in a very sleepy voice, to my amusement, I hear my Aama�s voice, �Aama� I scream with full of happiness. The sluggishness that I had while I was coming to answer the phone was all vanished after I heard my aama�s voice. As, always, the first thing was �Aama, sanchhai hunu huncha�? � Tyo radio alik kaam gara na, kehi suniena� exclaims aama to other members of the household. I could hear Teej music in the background, laughters, cheers, cries of babies. � Aama�, I go again. � Aaja daar khane deen ho�?

� ho , ho, taile tyahan ke garis ta chori�? � Je gare pani ramro sanga gar hai chori, bholi brata pani rakhesh, sriman bhaneko sriman nai hhunchha�. Aama told with a very deep sigh.

� eh, Teej pani aaisakechha� I think deep in my melancholy heart after hanging up the phone. When I was newly wedded, one of my friends said it was difficult just making it through what used to be the happiest days that were once shared with soul mate, I did show sympathy to her, who had lost her husband after 6 months of their wedding, but could never put myself on her shoe till it occurred to myself, and often wondered why she could not move on with her life. Today, after about 8 years of my wedding, I am surviving one of those days where everyone around you is celebrating and spreading good cheer, while mind is filled with memories and heart is heavy with loneliness.
Asim, my little daughter woke up and started crying. Crying was her usual routine during her diaper time, but today I felt, her tears were conveying something else than her usual discomfort, missing a father�s shed of love and care.� I am sorry, I couldn�t give you father�s love, honey� I breathed. She was looking at me with her curious eyes, as if wanting to know more about her mama�s life.

The peculiar vulnerable situation that her mama had to go through after coming to US in a dependent visa is unknown to Asim. �Neither immigrational rights, nor financial independence made mama�s life highly vulnerable to abuse. Isolated by language, without relatives or friends, foreign culture set made me feel disempowered, the daily tortures, either mental or physical had a deep negative impact on mama�s health.� Asim�s eyes were still wide open, trying to grasp my words as mush as she could. � Chori le mama ko kahani sunyo ta� I said trying to wipe my tears.

I look at the clock, was almost 8:00 am, dressed up Asim, packed her lunch, and dropped her off the childcare center and, went off to work. Though, I do not have any cherishing moments to recall about my married life, and to cherish in this �TEEJ�, I do want to Thank Asim�s father for giving me wonderful Asim to cherish my life.


For all Women who are cherishing this festive time of the year,
Enjoy the beautiful time.

Jyots
 
Posted on 09-17-04 8:57 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Quite touching indeed.
 
Posted on 09-17-04 9:04 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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JM

keep writing. i am sure it will help ease your pain

we all have something incomplete in the picture of our life, just remember that - you are not all alone.
 
Posted on 09-17-04 9:15 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Jyotsana:

Touching and sensitively written.

Last week someone asked me, "Who catches you if/when you fall?". I replied, "Nobody, I just dust myself and go on". But I realized, there is a power that helps each one of us to go on. Now that you are independent and moving on, don't ever allow anyone to take away or begrudge you that independence.

My positive energies with you, always!
 
Posted on 09-17-04 10:28 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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my respect and good wishes to u, u are not alone.
 
Posted on 09-17-04 12:05 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Jyotsna,

A very moving piece. Thanks for sharing it with us.

I admire your courage and hope you'll always be able to hold your own through life's many hurdles.
 
Posted on 09-17-04 12:10 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Your story brought tears to my eyes.. but I respect how you are handling it. We are with you.
 
Posted on 09-17-04 12:59 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Great piece of writing! As others have said to this thread! you are not alone! Even though I am a guy I can understand the agonizing emptiness you are going through this day..I salute your strength to deal with the life alone! I am sure your daughter will comfort you as days passes by...
Keep going and of course keep writing..

Revival
Waiting for a new beginning.
 
Posted on 09-17-04 1:34 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Jyotsna ji,
I concur with others. Not only a great poignant piece, but you display insurmountable fortitude as an independant woman yet keeping your identity intact. Bravo!

Tears don't wipe the stain,
Time can't heal the pain,
But for every beautiful thing that fades,
Something beautiful remains!

Please do keep writing!
 
Posted on 09-17-04 8:50 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Thankyou everybody, I was just letting it off my chest.

Regardless of various mishaps in each of our lives, we should try to forget it, and move on with life, to create a new world. Though it might be difficult at times.

I hope those of you who celebrated Teej, had a wonderful time!

jyots
 


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