Jokez

What are the three fastest ways of communication?
Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman.

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Sardar Apni Wife Ke Sath Coffee Shop Gaya, hot Coffee order Ki,
Coffee Atte Hi wife Se Bola Jaldi Jaldi pee. Wife Boli Kyu?
Sardar Bola Hot coffe Rs. 5 and Cold Coffee Rs. 10.00

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Sardarji went to party and introduced his family to his friends.
I am Sardar and this is sardarney,
this is my kid and this is my kidney.

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Sardar 2 Salesman, I Need Pink curtains for my computer.
Salesman Sardarji Computer Doesnt Need Curtains.
Sardarji: Oye i have windows installed.

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What do u call a fat woman waiting?
moti vating
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Nurse: Sardarji Mubarak Ho Aap Papa Ban Gaye!!
Sardar: Meri Wife Ko Mat Bolna Main Usse Surprise Dunga!!

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Safed Sari Par Tum Lal Bindi Lagati Ho,
Bhagwan Kasam Ambulance Nazar Aati Ho,


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What is the similarity between Mobile &Marriage?
Thode Din Aur Ruk Jata To Thoda Acha Model Mil Jaata!!

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Why does sardarji open his lunch box while Walking on the road?
To Check if he is going to work or Coming Back.

Beautiful one , Here are few from my end.


A husband and wife were having an argument. Suddenly the husband picked up a bottle lying near him and threw it at his wife. The bottle missed the wife and got into the neighbors? house breaking the window glass.

Now both the husband and wife got embarrassed and went to apologize to the neighbor. Upon reaching the house, they found out a young man sitting on a couch with a smile on his face.

Before the couple could say anything, the man said, ?I am a genie. I was enclosed in that bottle for many years, but you two have set me free, so ask for any three boons you want to and it shall be fulfilled. But against your three boons you will have to fulfill one wish of mine?.

The couple were so happy that they didn?t think twice and presented their wishes.

?I want millions of dollars in my account?, The husband said.
?Done?, said the genie.
?I want diamonds in all my vaults?.
?Done?, said the genie.
?I want bungalows all over the world?, said the husband.
?Done?, said the genie.

Now it was the time of the genies wish. ?So? the genie said, ?I have fulfilled all the three wishes you have said, and its time for my
wish. I have not slept with a women for long. I wish to have sex with your wife. The couple got worried, but the husband explained that it was only a genie and it didn?t matter much to him. Besides the genie has given them a lot of things. So the wife consented.

The genie and the wife had a lovely night together.

Finally in the morning the genie said, ?It was wonderful but how old is your husband??
?Why, he is just thirty-five?
?My God ?, said the genie, ?even at thirty-five he still believes in genies?.

cheers,
jorad

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nice one guys. Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeet.

No disrespect to GOD. If any body feel offended, I am sorry.

One day Lord shiva decided to visit the earth and try some alcohol. So he changed his get-up and went to a bar in Thamel and asked the bartender:
Shiva: "What all do u have".
Bartender: "We have whisky, rum, vodka, gin, beer etc etc."
Lord Shiva: "Let's try whisky first. Give me 5 bottles of whisky".
Afterhaving 5 bottles of whisky, Lord shiva decided to try Rum.
Bartender was shocked: "Who is this man, after having 5 bottles ofwhisky,he is still on his feet".
After having 5 bottles of Rum, Shiva decided to have beer.
After having 40 bottles of beer, he asked the bartender for Gin.
Bartender couldn't stop himself asking him: "Sir, who are you??
I have seen people getting drunk after having 4 glasses of whisky, and you've almosthad 50 bottles and you are still on your feet, who are you"???
Lord Shiva: "I am Lord Shiva".

Bartender: NOW HE IS DRUNK!!!

It was the end of the school year,& a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils.

The florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, "I bet I know what it is. Flowers."
"That's right!" the boy said, "But, how did you know?"
"Oh, just a wild guess," she said.

The next pupil was the sweet shop owner's daughter. The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is. A box of sweets."
"That's right, but how did you know?" asked the girl.
"Oh, just a wild guess," said the teacher.

The next gift was from the son of the liquor storeowner. The teacher held the package overhead, but it was leaking. She touched a drop off the leakage with her finger and put it to her tongue. "Is it wine?" she asked.
"No," the boy replied, with some excitement.
The teacher repeated the process, tasting a larger drop of the leakage. "Is it champagne?" she asked.
"No," the boy replied, with more excitement.
The teacher took one more big taste before declaring, "I give up, what is it?"
With great glee, the boy replied, "It's a puppy!"

This one is really funny. Thanks for sharing. Feels good to take a break and laugh at these funny jokes.