Junior asks his dad: "Daddy, how was I born?" His dad sighs and replies: "Ah, my son, I guess one day, you would have to find out anyway. " Well, you see, your mum and I first got together in a chat room on MSN. " Then I set up a date via email with your mum and we met at a cyber- café."We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to download from my hard drive. " As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither of us had used a firewall, but it was too late to hit the delete button. " 6 weeks later, your mum sent me and instant message saying that her operating system was showing signs of unauthorized program activity from a self – extracting file, which had implanted itself in her BIOS."Then 9 months later, a little pop-up appeared and said, "You 've GOT MALE!

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Three Doctors walk into a bar together and discuss surgeries they
had performed. The first one said, "I’m the best surgeon in Texas.
A concert pianist lost 7 fingers in an accident, I reattached them,
and 8 months later he performed a private concert for the Queen of
England."

The second doctor said, "That’s nothing. A young man lost both
arms and legs in an accident, I reattached them, and 2 years later he won a
gold medal in field events in the Olympics."

The third surgeon said, "You guys are amateurs. Several years ago
a cowboy who was high on cocaine and alcohol rode a horse head-on into
a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was
the horse’s ass and a cowboy hat. Now he’s president of the United
States."

Hello, technical support,
Last year I upgraded Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that my financial software encountered unexpected situations. The executive programs such as Flower and Cosmetics could not run properly as they would with Boyfriend 5.0 version. Moreover Husband 1.0 deleted Romance 9.9 but installed Soccer 11.0 and NBA 3.0. What was worse, Communication 8.0 didn’t run as smoothly as before and the subsystem Housework 2.6 was simply broken down. I tried to cope with the problem by running Nag 5.3 but produced no effect. Please help me.
Yours
A despairing customer
To: customer
To begin with, please notice that Boyfriend 5.0 is intended for entertainment purposes while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Would you try typing in “c:/don’t you love me any more?” in ms-dos mode and then install Tears 6.2. It is highly likely that Husband 1.0 would automatically run Guilty 3.0 and the executive system Flower 7.0. But we must warn you not to use them too often for Husband 1.0 might set Silence 2.5 or Beer 6.1 as default. In addition, Beer 6.1 might sometimes automatically set up a sound file entitled Snoring. We must also remind you of not installing Mother-in-law 1.0 or other versions of Boyfriend because they would not only be of no help but also even be destructive to Husband 1.0. Generally, Husband 1.0 is a good system. It is only that it does not have a big enough storage space and thus needs to adapt to new software. It takes a little time. If you would like to improve performance we recommend that you add new software such as Delicious Food 3.0.
Yours
Tech

One man comes in a bar in Taxes and notices a sign, If you man make our horse laugh you will get all you can drink and all you can eat meal, and if you fail then you pay double. That man goes to bartender and tells him that he accept the challenge.
The man goes towards the horse and whispers something in it’s ear. The horse suddenly starts to laugh like hell. So the man gets a free meal.

A week after the same man comes back to that bar and notices that horse was still laughing. He goes into the bar and sees the notice, “If you can make our horse sad then you will get all you can drink and all you can eat for free, if you fail you pay double.” The same man goes to the bar and accepts the challenge. He again goes towards the horses and whispers something and does something. The horse suddenly stops laughing and looks very sad.
So the man again got a free meal.

Bartender get very curious and asks the man what did he say to make the horse laugh and do to make it sad?
The man says “Well last week I went to the horse and said that mine is bigger then his, and he started to laugh, and today I proved it.”