Namaste!
Why does the 'shape' of a heart represent love? Why do we touch our heart when we experience deep love and why does our heart 'burst' with happiness? Why does our heart 'break' when our love is rejected? Why does the heart 'beat' faster and faster when you get closer and closer to something or someone who turns you on?
How come this heart can experience so much of feelings and emotions? Where does it all come from? The heart or the brain? Its the chicken and egg story. But this is not a biology class.
When your mum was pregnant with you, she was happy and looked forward to that day when she would hold you in her arms. You represented the love between mum and dad. She conceived you in pleasure but delivered you in pain. Both pleasure and pain evaporated the moment she set eyes on you. She did her best to fulfill your demands...roti, kapada aur makan.
Time rolled by and in a blink of an eye, you took your first steps forward. Stumbled and fell, you yelled and she came running. Suckling at her swollen, tender breasts, she bears the pain of your two front teeth. Just when she scoops her first handful of dhal bhat to eat, you decide to poop. As she lays her tired body to sleep, you decide its time to play 'piggy-back'.
From the moment of your birth, she discovered the meaning of 'sacrifice'. She gives up her further education and career to concentrate on bringing out the best in you. You represent the future generation. You will carry the family name. Day and night, year after year, she toils at home. Like Superwoman, she handles the daily chores and satisfies everyone's needs. She can't afford to fall sick. Who will look after the children if that happens. She ignores the aches and pains. She's the last to eat and sleep.
She sees her efforts beginning to blossom. You're growing into a strapping teenager! You begin the realise that the world outside is better than the world inside your house. The house also seemed to have shrunk. You now prefer the company of new found friends. What better age than this to experience life beyond the fence. What a thrill when you learn to skip classes.
Ahh... the fear of being caught with the smell of cigarette smoke on your breath! How much you've grown! You're almost a man. Now, dad takes over the role from mum. He becomes a major threat to all your activities. He can see the swagger in your walk as you cling to the bedroom door. Mum empties your pockets to find what looks like dried 'grass' rolled up in old newspaper. The smell of your breath stinks.
She steps back and looks in disbelief at her 'baby'. What went wrong? Did she miss out something important? Everything seemed fine until your 'friends' came along. Then her world turned upside down. She felt used and betrayed. She was no longer the center of your attention. Your dad turns the other way. You did not grow up to be the man he dreamed you would be.
But now, you're truly happy. You're independent and have the freedom to make your own choices. Your friends stand by your side when before your parents stood. Your friends help you choose the best way to spend your time when before your parents spent their time with you. Your friends pick you up in drunken stupor to send you home when before your parents picked you up everytime you fell.
Then your phone rings pulling you abruptly out from your cosy bed. 'He, hel..hello? Is that Shiva? My son, are you there?' Still groggy with sleep the voice sounds familiar. You shake your head, rub your eyes, scratch your head...oh god, it's dad! What's he doing on the phone? You check the time...you blink...american time or nepali time? What the heck!
"Yeah dad, it's me. What's up, man?"
"Your mum..."
"My mum?..."
"Yes my son, your mum has passed away. The doctor said she had a heart attack."
"Heart attack! But she was fine all these years. What did you do to her?"
"Me?? I just filled the gap you left behind." "She waited and waited for your return but you never came."
"Hey man, I'm real busy here. After all I'm sending money back home. Isn't that enough?"
"Well, the funeral will be held as soon as you return." "Can you take the first flight home?"
"Home? Surely you can do the necessary rituals without having me there. I'll do some prayer here." "Anyway, she's lived to a ripe old age, so let's not get sentimental about this."
"Son, I want you back here. Your mum wants you back here. Your family wants you back here. You just got to come home."
" No dad, no! Life goes on and nobody's going to steal my American dream! Sorry dad."
"Yes, son...I'm also sorry...sorry for having brought you into this world."
God bless you.
