मेरो एक मित्रको परीवार बिग्रने क्रममा छ भन्ने मलाइ एकदमै लागेको छ । उनको परीवारमा श्रीमति, हाइस्कुल सिनियर छोरी र युनिभर्सिटि (अन्डरग्राड) पढ्दै गरेका छोरा छन । फेसबुकको माध्यमबाट मलाइ यो थाहा लाग्यो कि उनका छोरा र छोरी दुवै खराव संगत र गलत क्रियाकलापमा चुर्लुम्म डुबेका छन । अमेरिकी समाजले कसरी पचाउला थाहा छैन, तर मेरो नेपाली मानसिकताले ती फेसबुकमा आदानप्रदान गरिएका वाक्यपिच्छे "फक" शब्दहरु तथा यौन उत्तेजक फोटोहरुलाइ असामान्य बदचलन मानेको छ । कतिपय फोटोहरुमा  असामान्य यौन  भङ्गीमा प्रदर्शन समेत गरेको छ । ती फोटाहरु यति डरलाग्दा छन कि,  परिवार, र अझ खासगरी आमावुवाले आफ्ना सन्तान र तिनका साथिहरुको त्यस्ता फोटोहरुलाइ सहज लिन सक्दै सक्दैन ।

अब म असाध्यै दुविधामा परेको छु, मैले यसबारे साथिलाइ जानकारी गराउँदा उचित होला या नहोला? कि यो अमेरीका हो ठिकै छ, तिनीहरु वयस्क भैसके, जे सुकै गरोस भनेर आँखा चिम्लिदिने पो हो कि? मेरो साथी आफ्ना सन्तानका यी हरकतहरुसित परिचीत भए जस्तो लाग्दैन । म आफैले साथीका छोराछोरीलाइ सम्झाउने वा प्रत्यक्ष कुराकानी गर्ने अवस्था पनि छैन । साथीलाइ थाहा दिँदा के भन्ने हो खोइ?  तर अर्को मनले भन्छ, न साथी आफै नै छोराछोरीहरु अमेरीकि सन्तान जस्तै फर्वार्ड भएमा खुशी मान्ने खालका पो छन कि? त्यसो हो भने, मैले केहि भन्नु आफ्नै लागि घातक हुनेछ । साथीकि श्रीमति (भाउजु) धार्मिक स्वभावको भएको हुँदा उनी सन्तानको यस्तो हर्कत देखेर नराम्ररी विचलीत हुने डर पनि छ, लाग्छ भाउजुले मानसिक सन्तुलन गुमाउने डर छ ।

यस्तो अवस्थामा के गर्दा उचीत होला, कृपया कामलाग्ने सुझावहरु दिनु होला ।

@Saaaj stop Stalking Around!!

Lahure,

Thank you for your opinion. I know I don't want to dictate on other people's life, that is why I hesitate to talk my friend, the kids, and the family directly.

I have no intention to prove my point, nor I ever would tell anyone about the photos unless I am not sure that would not harm to them. But I know, FB has a filthy privacy setting and everyone in their distant network (like me) may find it. FB has a robot to suggest friends of friend. I received the suggestion which landed me on their profile and then to those photos.

I know their current life and friends circle is not good for them. Well, if they choose to live that kinda life - it is their decision, and they will surely regret at some point in their life. However, I am looking for some opinions and suggestions that if I could help them to make a correction before it is too late. However, if  my honest attempt would be misunderstood, like you saying me a PERVERT or something else, I would prefer to step back quietly, because it is America.

In Nepal, I have saved a kid, a son of my family friend. I once saw him alone walking along the bank of Manohara river. I sensed something wrong and stepped into it. I found he was badly addicted to drug but the family was not aware of it. I picked him out from there and took with me for a couple of weeks. I informed his parents about it, and later we sent him to a rehabilitation center. He was cured, and my step-in was in time. All his family members, and he himself is happy with me now. I know, this sort of dictation is not possible in America, and therefore I hesitate to talk about this.

Yeah ok if its like really bad  for instance taking drugs like cocaine and heroine, yeah u should inform his/her dad. if she is like sleeping around with different guys and acting like American sluts definitely u should do that. but i didn't get what u were saying make it clear what bad stuff they are doing. if they are just drinking and smoking weeds and partying around and wearing tight short skirts i don't think that is bad. so u know make clear what u talking here about.

its horrible when u r complaining about their pictures, flashing little boobs is not bad. dun act like radical muslims.

Your Intentions might be GOOD!!

Lahure,

Your translation is wrong. Your intention is wrong. I have mentioned situations about a high-school-senior girl, a college boy and a religiously faithful mother in my OP, but you just are picking up the high-school-girl only. It is enough to display your sick mentality.

When you write "  जो कसैलाइ पनि यौनोत्तेजना जगाउने अवस्था छ ! " after seeing an abnormal exposure of a High School Girl, it does not mean you are sexually aroused by the picture. It means - "those, who see the picture, may get sexually aroused". The word "may" is not a definitive word, nor it applies to the subject who has written it. You should correct your understanding.

You
are hell bent to twisting the issue and blame on me? Do you know at what age
students finish senior high? Do you know what qualifies one to be a
pedophile? It clearly shows that you lack proper understanding, proper
judgment, and the ability to comprehend the gravity of this problem. You
sound to be one, who has never taken care of any family matters. Listen
Mr. Laure, I myself am a father of a senior high graduate. I know the 
consequences of a small mistake of a kid at that age and its lifelong impacts. I
also know the hardship to raise a kid up to that age and the parental
responsibilities.  So stop hovering in this thread with your worthless
arguments if you don't have anything useful to suggest.

People can have judgment based on their observation. My judgment, based on my observation of their FB activity, is that they are in a wrong circle but they can be corrected if they are approached appropriately. But my judgment can't be a basis for your judgment. Your judgment, based on your observation, reflects what you are and what you think.

I think my friends may be able to correct the kids if they know what's going on. However, I am not sure if I am right. I am not sure if I should inform the parents. I am also not sure what is the best way to inform them. I am asking suggestions for these matters here in sajha rather than showing evidences or spending time on fruitless debates.

It Hurts ain't it?? Exactly don't throw your Judgement at others based on few FB pictures and Activities!!

yeah saaj don't worry abut others kid doing stuff, i agree with lahure kancha man. but u might not be pedophile u just thought its over the limit, but u know its west so..............

Laure,

Your hollow allegation does not touch me at all. The original text was edited just to stop probable misjudgment by a fool like you.

You should note that I took no action besides this discussions
here at sajha. Now, stop speculating about MORAL POLICING, who did that?
None. The kids are still unchecked and they are living their lives in
their way. I have no plan to take a action, unless I am convinced that any of my act would help them to correct.

You are acting as if I stepped in into their life and started dictating "do this" "don't do that", which is beyond my thought.  I am only thinking, whether I should inform the parents or not about this, and if yes, how could I do? That is all. After the information is passed to the parents, they should take care of it, not me.

Although you were arrogant from the beginning and trying to defame me, I
kept responding your concerns
giving you the benefit of doubt,  that you may have a
useful suggestion.  But, you kept throwing out unnecessary allegations that just discourage other people who might have useful suggestions. Perhaps, you are the one who lure teens or young adults and preach here about the FREE LIFESTYLE. Those, who throw out allegation of "stalking pervert" or try hard to prove someone as a pervert despite knowing that the person may be of GOOD intention, has an agenda for his vested interest because you are ignoring the fact, despite repeatedly saying, that I want to listen opinions on how a mistaken teen can be corrected. Did you find the answer of my questions? Do you now know at what age students finish senior high? Do you now know what qualifies one to be a pedophile? If you know, then justify your earlier allegations.


I know, you won't realize what I am talking about until you discover your own kids (or someone dearest of you) are in a wrong path like my friend's kids here. I feel they are like my kids. I don't hope you would have any useful advice to bring back them in line,  to get more focused on their study and career, and to be a responsible family member. I however hope that this thread would help cautioning the parents of growing teens, if they read this thread.

Sunsweesh,

I understand what you mean. If I had not recognized ITS WEST, I would probably not come to ask opinions and suggestions here, isn't it? I am here in US for past 12 years, raised my own kid here, so, I know the acceptable limit of kids' act.

Laure is also saying what you are saying. I myself has thought of that option too - "कि यो अमेरीका हो ठिकै छ, तिनीहरु वयस्क भैसके, जे सुकै गरोस भनेर आँखा चिम्लिदिने पो हो कि?"

but he is trying to show me as a bad man. What is his motive? Why he has to do that?

Do not tell them.

They will loose their parents and you will loose your best friend.

dimag kharab,

Thank you for your opinion.

"They will loose their parents and you will loose your best friend."

This is truly my fear.

yeah yeah lahurakancha bichara saaj lai tesai pedophile nabahnana, tinlai bhayo bahne ksto huncha.

saaj dai tapai thikai ho 12 years basnu ba raicha tara dai prasta bhayena k tyo ketaketi ahru le k nachiado kaam garirachan, khulast garnu paryo k ani po hamle tapailai suggestion dina milcha. mero bichar ma ai tapai j hos conservative hunu huncha jasto lagcha, we r nw generation and u might be of those panchayat period. sorry dai mind nagarnu.

panchaayat period ta bhogiyo ni, tara america pani bhogiyekai ho, I am not as conservative as you have thought. aba ti ketaketile ke gare, detail dinu bekaar chha, bujhnelaai ishaara kaafi. mathi OP ma jati bhane bhane, tyo bhanda badhi ke bhannu aba.

थुयिक्क तोरी लाहुरे हरु हो , सज्जन भद्र भलाद्मी को कुरो, पिर मर्का बुझ्नु छैन , हुटीट्याउ  बनयो बस्यो ....
ओ साज माडसाप ,  के रहर चल्या हो तिम्लाई ? कात्तिक् आउन लाग्यो कि क्या हो?

ल् तिम्रा तथाकथित साथी, तिम्री भाउजु, वा तिम्रा बिचलन पैदा गर्ने भारा भुरी हरु को नाम ठेगाना , फोन नम्बर पाम त, आधी घण्टा भित्र औषधी गर्दिम्छु ।

कसरी ? इ यसरी

दाई लाई शुभ चिन्तक भाई एउटा पत्र लेख  पहिले , पत्र संगै तथाकथित फेस बुक को प्रिन्ट पेज पनि हाल्नु नि

ति तिते पाते हरु लाई एस्पली दशै मा नेपाल जानु पर्छ भनी अहिले देखी नै फकाउन थाल्ने
भाउजु लाई नि फकाउने , दाई लाई नि फकाउने

गणतन्त्र बिमान्स्थल बहिर पाइला टेक्न साथ कान मा दुई घण्टा सम्मा कुइय कुइ इ इ इ इ इ इ इ इ हुने गरी कंचत मा तरे माम् दिने

त्एस पछी तिम्रा कली जुगी दाई को सिता फल फुट्ने गरी इट्टा ले हान्ने , अनी भाउजु लाई ओशो तपो बन तिर धपाउने

त्एती ले मात्र हुन्न नि साज दाजी , ति भुरभुरी वाइ स्याल २० डलर मा भाडा मा लियी तिम्रो झ्यानकुटि झ्याइ गर्न सक्ने हुँदा, तुरुन्तै मुक्ती मोर्चा तिर प्रवेश गर्ने , हश ?

के तत्तो न छारो जनै पुर्ने दिन क्वाटी , खसी को झोल अनी तगडा रम् हान्दै म्यारेज खेल्न छाडि किच किच गरी रा ?

दसैं आउन लागि सक्यो साज काका , खुरुक्क रेहर्शल गर्न बस त , ब.........र ........

 
 
 

Dear saaj,

 

If your friend is still nepali by heart, then he will appreciate ur help , may be u can get more close to him and his wife, and will always gets decent favour in ur difficult times.

Most People generally think wht they will get in return by helping others.

But u hv to help everyone with ur good intention.

And I agree with boulevard dreams

 "Fulko aakhama fulai sansar kada ko aakha ma kadai sansaar bhanne."

A gun manufacturer says a gun is there to protect not to kill, but it stills kill someone to protect. itz just a argument.

Look dude Pedophile (>16) (She might be 17/18 but She is your Friend's Daughter, and it's SHAME you are STALKING HER IN FACEBOOK(and Him for Son)!!!! Read your Sentence Again (जो कसैलाइ पनि यौनोत्तेजना जगाउने अवस्था छ= What does this means?)......you have mention ALL THE PEOPLE WILL GET SEXUALLY AROUSED (ALL=YOU TOO)!! Who is STALKING FRIEND's DAUGHTER!!   [You had motivation to go into their PROFILE and LOOK for PICTURES]

ramprasadneupane,

हा हा , त्यो चैने गुड आइडिया हो है । माने ल ।

boulevard dreams,

I appreciate your suggestions. Thank you. I liked "Don't ask anything about their negative habits or
something like that but ask your friend what his kids are doing and how
is their study...  just
ask him how is he taking care of his kids " Perhaps that would be best way to begin with.

8847,

Thank you for your tips. So far, I have heard my friend talking like a Nepali than an American, however, talking about kids bad friends is not as easy as talking about general stuffs that we Nepalese commonly do at gatherings. Boulevard dreams strategy sounds good to me so far.

Laure,

You are sick. The suggestion MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS was my first option among many, yet, I was trying to find out if there was any opinion that I could try for something good. See, others, how they have genuinely attempted sharing their opinion and easing the situation for me, unlike you, who is irritating me with baseless allegation and proving yourself stupid in each of your posting. FYI, I know almost everyone in DMV region who are here for 10+ years.

Saaj ji By your post it seems you are already friend with them in facebook. Now Tell your friend to open fb account. if he already  have one then add him in your account. When your friend saw fb suggestion to add his son and daughter, it's up to him what to do.