Broken pieces

 (It is a fiction. Any resemblance to anyone's life is purely a coincidence.)

My name is Pallavi. This is a story of a girl who didn’t know what love was until her heart was broken into pieces.

I met Prashant on facebook. That unfortunate day, I had clicked “accept request” from more than ten strangers at once. I always felt bad about declining friend requests, especially the ones from Nepali folks. Prashant was one of those strangers whom I had permitted to step into my virtual world without much thought. I wish I were as picky about my facebook friends as I am with my real life ones.

Prashant was the kind of a guy that parents warn their daughters against. He was irresponsible, erratic, impulsive, arrogant and as an icing on the not-so-delicious cake, an alcoholic. I am not a girl who finds bad guys irresistible.What Prashant pulled me towards him was with his consistent efforts at wooing me and chasing me. He chased me to a point where I finally had to accept the possibility of having a relationship with a guy who happened to be more immature than my teenaged brother.

It was sort of an arranged marriage situation for me because I started falling in love with him only after we decided to be in a relationship. And boy, did I fall in love with this person! Despite all his crazy antics, I have to admit that he did not treat me poorly until the ultimate blow of dagger right through my pericardial cavity. But, I will get to that in a while. Prashant always seemed like a victim in my eyes. His troubled self made me love him dearly because deep down, I always felt that he had lacked love in his childhood. His issues with his parents when growing up had left him bruised and even though he never admitted to it, I could sense it in his voice when he brought up his parents into any conversation.  You might ask, what did you see in this guy to even get involved with him? Well, as I said, he was always nice to me and I didn’t get to experience the other side of his personality until much later. And ofcourse, there is always the cliched excuse of "Oh well, love is blind."

I came from a different upbringing because my parents taught me the importance of self respect. I don’t do things to please anyone unless my own reason and intuition agree with the action that I am going to partake on. This is exactly where I failed in this relationship.

Prashant claimed that I was going to be his wife because I was everything he ever wanted. He also assured me that I will be the mother of his child. How selfless I was in his love is something I can never explain in words.
On May 25^th, I landed in California for a week with my friends. I would get texts from Prashant

regularly. I hadn’t been able to talk to him on the phone every night like we used to that week. In one of the texts, he had said that after I came back from my visit, he was going to come see me. Yes, it was a long distance relationship because we were both away for schools and only saw each other over breaks. I was the happiest girl on earth that day.

But dreams, like they say, are made of glasses-really fragile ones too. Two days before his visit to my school, he admitted that he expected me to make love to him when he came down to see me. I was uncomfortable with the idea because it was way too early for such a big stride. We had been together for only eight months. I told him exactly like I felt. I said I wasn’t ready. I could sense that he was not too pleased with the idea but for the first time in all those eight months, I didn’t make an effort to please him. For the first time in all those eight months, I was selfish.

That was it. That was the last time I heard anything from him. He never called or replied to any of my calls and voicemails. Nor my emails or facebook messages. This was the same guy who had chased me for months attempting to convince me that he was in love with the person that I was. This was the same guy who wanted me to mother his child some day. But I was penalized for sticking to the very values that had drawn him towards me in the first place.

I always knew it was a hypocritical world that we lived in but I didn’t know that the proximity I was sharing with such hypocrisy was strong enough to break my heart into pieces.

I am Pallavi and this is a story about how much it still hurts after all these years.

 @Bidroah: Chill bro, that was a sattire to Nas, Because most of the people in sajha know who and what is Nas.. Kunai jamana thiyo jaba Nas log in bhayo bahne aru user haru darr le log out hunthyo ani sara gaau ma bachha haru royo bhane, aama le narou babu aile feri Nas aucha bhanthyo .  Nas bhaneko sajha ko lifetime member ho, So that was just a sattire to him. We all know him and his rumor. 

"हजुर पनि यो कुरा नजर गरि बक्सियोस ! "

Yeah right. The last thing I need in my life is an advice from some deluded a-hole who thinks its funny to hide behind the computer screen and talk down on women. So, no thanks.


ooasis, i was trying to go for spontaneous. So that's a big compliment, thanks!

" Kunai jamana thiyo jaba Nas log in bhayo bahne aru user haru darr le log out hunthyo"

Somebody has definitely spent a lot of time watching Sholay and other hindi flicks.

@aviator chick: LoL, i didn't read the fiction comments so just adviced if you were the one ;-). Lately, there has been lot of personal threads so i just try to cool them down from my side so i thought this was one as well :).
 
However, don't take it seriously. There's a proverb called "If diamond is pure, it will sparkle". If it was just your imagination then it could be your personality as well. You never know ;-). But again, back to the topic, if pallavi was trying to have a really sojho baladmi b.f then he could have gone to some village coz boys in this town or in U.S are really bad in that matter lol.

@bidroh: Dude, don't try to act like a HERO. NAS was just playing with some dirty jokes so stfu. If you don't like it, don't read his comment. Also don't try to impress aviator chick coz u ain't geting none of that LoL..

@NAS: I've seen your past for like past 7/8 yrs but never commented on it. Sorry to say, you're a funny dirty mf lol ;-).

If you liked the idea of being a mother of his child so bad, why on earth would you deny to make love with him in the first place ?? How do you think they make babies these days ??? Talking/ texting over phone ??


In a different note, loved the way you wrote this story, you kno u turn me on :)

huh, typical Nepali mindset and way of thinking. Keep staying classy, Sirus_Me.

@bidroh: LoL who's talking? Who's got the nepali mindset? You, the one who don't want to have SEX until suhag raat because it's against the social norms or the person who thinks SEX is a part of LIFE. Please look at the mirror and speak from ur brain not from ur a## ;-)...

"Also don't try to impress aviator chick coz u ain't geting none of that LoL.."

Really Sirus? I don't think he was. He was stating the obvious in his comment. Nas's comment was derogatory indeed and if you find it funny, then you must be related to him. Trust me, I have a sense of humor but the way he worded his comments were far from being funny.

I request you guys to not argue over this anymore. Let's just put this whole thing to rest as mature adults. Thank you.


Fat beast, thanks if that was meant to be a compliment.

@Aviator chick: No way, i'm not related to him. I don't even know what his real name is for christ sake. However, please don't take it seriously. I was just joking around. I really am sorry if NAS comment has hurt you by any way. I've been drinking lot of KOOL AID lately ;-).

Chill out @aviator chick. Last but not least, GREAT FICTIONAL WRITING ;-)...

Btw, @aviator chick, i've created a website which needs lot of writers like you. Any kind of writing is appreciated. Please email me on sajha inbox and i'll give you the website info.

Offcourse that was a compliment, what do u mean " if that was meant to be a compliment". ????

And using answered my questi

Are you "sirius"? 

 @ Bidroh: Yes, i did spent a lot of time watching the hindi flick, so what? I did watched in my own tv at my own house with my own time. Talai garo bhayo? May be you didn't have TV or a cable to watch those movies in your house. FYI, that was just a humor for Nas, if you don't know who he is than read the comment posted by sirus_me. We all know who he is? Don't try to be a smart a.. here in sajha. I guess sirus was right, you're just trying to prove yourself a HERO. Good luck on that dude.

You're starting to scare me now, Ooasis.

@ Bidroh:  Dear kidoo, oops sorry if i scared you, didn't mean to do so. Go and call you parents dude or go and hide in your girls skirt if she's wearing one if not LYB, Douche... 

@ Bidroh, this is for you and your stupidity for what you did to me, You're such a douchebag.. go and LYP Mofo..

Nice read. Thanks for sharing.

Cheers.

I like stories that don't have "To be continued"
Was a good read, hope to see more.

Thank you Messiah! I'm glad that you enjoyed it. :)

Thanks to you too Stiffler (I hope you are nothing like Stiffler in real life, lol). You will definitely see more from me. :)