I don’t know what is wrong with me. I am so depressed. I just feel like crying all the time.Why am I like this?I know u think its one of my drama. You think I am just looking for reasons to give you hard time. God!! I don’t know .. I know I wasn’t like this.. I was strong. I knew what I was doing with my life. I am so confused now. I am so lost. I am completely a different person now. I am not happy the way we are. I am not happy at all..I am not sure where we are going?? I feel like I am stuck. I feel like there is no way out.. I am dying inside.. I have made a biggest mistake in my life.. And I regret for that every single day… I hate myself. You are never there to listen to me. When I start talking about how I feel , you completely shut me out. You either become stone or you just tell me off. What do I do? What are my options?? I am so lonely..I feel neglected. I thought you were my whole world. You were my everything.. It was stupid to think that way. I was so blindly in love with you that I didn’t think of any consequences of the mistake... But now I think your spell is over.

But after your affair with her, everything changed. I am hurt so badly. I tried pulling myself together but My heart still remained in small pieces. I know you were not sleeping with her but you told her you loved her. That’s a big word. It has torn me into pieces. I know you are with me now. But just the physical presence is not enough.. We hardly do anything that a couple do. We are just housemates living under the same roof.. Lately, I have started evaluating our situation. I started thinking how will I cope in future with you. You and I are so different. I am not saying you are bad. Now I realise that you are not the type of guy I want to spend the rest of my life. I keep telling you what I need. But you never give me that. I want emotional support. I need my partner to encourage me, listen to me, and take care of me. I never got that.

I know I can’t be happy with you.. and can’t make you happy either..I know you don’t complain anything to me. It is because you don’t even care. .. I don’t know what do I do now?? I am so sad. And I know its not easy to break up as we are so entangled to many commitments together. I wish I could just fly away from all the pain that is in my heart.

hi lonely, u have expressed ur pain very beautifully.the pains u r experiencing now and the way u have expressed is so lively.it just shows how much u r suffering at the moment."I know you don’t complain anything to me. It is because you don’t even care" how true! only people who get enough dont complain or who don care.who want to be together n be happy n who want to make the other one happy do complain coz if he himself is not happy cant make other happy.for the happiness of other he should try to keep himself happy or at least needs encouragement to do something for the other one.very phylosophical.pains n sufferings give birth to thinkers n philosophers.

"I keep telling you what I need. But you never give me that". this shows he does not love u at all.if he cares, he would have at least tried to give what u want.he would have listened to u.he does not care about ur happiness.he does not get happy when u r happy so it does not matter whether u got what u want or not.n of course people get changed when they feel neglected.
"don’t know what is wrong with me. I am so depressed. I just feel like crying all the time.Why am I like this?I know u think its one of my drama. You think I am just looking for reasons to give you hard time. God!! I don’t know .. I know I wasn’t like this.. I was strong. I knew what I was doing with my life. I am so confused now. I am so lost. I am completely a different person now. I am not happy the way we are. I am not happy at all..I am not sure where we are going?? I feel like I am stuck. I feel like there is no way out.. I am dying inside.." this is what happens when the person u love does not give u what u want or at least does not care about u.if he can not do its a different story but not caring n not willing to do even if he can then its just to behave u as a granted.
hi lonely my honest suggestion is: just kick that person out of ur life.its hard to break up or simply go out of someone's life u love but he does not deserve u.had he not had affair with anyone, i would suggest u to solve the problem by discussing in a mutual way.u try to make him happy n he will try to fulfill what u want but he has betrayed u, he does not care what u want ,he does not want to listen to u how u feel.if he is changed coz of another girl, then u just go out of his life coz he is taking u as a granted and behaving like this.one should not b too weak coz nothing is granted here.we need to work hard even to get one's love.if u don get anything from him, what is the use of being with him? just keep on complaining does not help.it will create hatred for u even more coz one who does not try to make u happy wont understand ur pain of needs as well.u can even live alone freely without any responsibilities.such guys n girls need to be punished who just don respect the sacrifices of others who love them.nothing is granted here, nothing!everything has its price!

astu:

Hello Highvoltage,

thank you for that.. He is not in touch with the other girl and that was just the beginning of an affair and he told me he needs me when I was about to leave him..
I think he is just taking me for granted.I don't know how to sort the problem at all. I tried to shut myself out without complaining. I was just being like the way he was..But it is so painful once you are in a relationship.Not sure!!What is the solution for this weird situation...

Hi Lonely,
I believe on, time will heal up every pain. First time, i am here sharing with my pain or happienss even i dont know.I went back home and got married. my marriage life went wrong since first honeymoon night and i couldnt sleep at all and restless of my mind. So many thoughts has come to my mind. She is not a right lady for my life but i just compromised the way things come ahed in my life. We went for honeymoon as well and she didnt get allowed me to make her love. Next, i have been to Uk 8 years and went back home with full of dream to get married and back to Uk without making love to my wife. As you said, i feel like that she dont care me, love me and no supporting me emotionally but time is the best decision factors and so we cant do nothing and just hope for better in future. Marriage is so complicate to get divorce and there is a way to get in but no way to get out in our culture. Anyway, time is the best decision factor and we have to wait and see and must take decision for our happiness. thanks for sharing your part of life.
NM

Can anyone reply me please???I am so sad..

though i cannot fully judge your relationship based only on what you have written. it seems to me that you should leave that guy and move ahead in life. also remember you are only one that is capable to make yourself happy or sad. Don't make yourself vulnerable and be torn apart by others actions. believe yourself,love yourself, build on your good things. Also try to have a purpose in your life. This will motivate you and stop you from distraction. Also time is the biggest healer and I am sure you will surely find a way out this bad time.

BUDDHA was right.
Life is a suffering and suffering is due to attachments.
There is a way to overcome the sufferings.

Lonely ji, i understand your feelings. It is very hard time to you. This life is so precious. Don't get entangled on temporary things. Do something creative. Discover something new. Every body is talking about love love love love love love.......... Be strong,you were born alone and you will leave this earth alone. Try to underdtand the nature, the mystery of life. Think why you are here in this planet. I don't understand why most of the people are following the same PATTERN of life. A baby is born, reach adulthood, falls in love, gets married, either becomes happy by it or not. Do something different.

Again, don't follow the things which are temporary. Spent your life's precious moment to find the mysteries. In fact, you yourself is one of the mystery. Solve it.

Thank you Naak Ji and Doofy!!..
Thank you for the suggestions. In this relationship I have already lost my self esteem as well.. I will just try to ignore the whole situation and pretend normal.. And wait for the time to heal my pain..

Don't have much choice!!:-(

hey lonley...

Life is hard enough without all the problems that you are facing through...but if you try to pretend nothing happened or think it will go away you are wrong...you wrote in because you you know that is true...there are a lot of people,especially women in our society that are going through this every day but they keep it bottled up and pretend nothing is wrong. What they end up is a loveless marriage where they feel empty inside.
I know its hard to do anything because of the culture we live in but pretending nothing is wrong will only bring you more pain in the long run...your husband is supposed to be your soulmate....if you are writing to people on the web to express your feelings, there is something wrong with the relationship......
I hope you get through this and i hope you turn back into the person you said you were,,,all the best..

Hi Lonely,

I know easier said than done. But U should dump him. It's gonna be hard at first, but later time will heal U and you will feel better about yourself...infact you will be proud of yourself to have been strong enough to let go off someone whom you didn't deserve. Believe me..there R plenty of other fishes out in the sea, and k tha? U might meet someone you truely deserve one day. If you keep him, you will be hurting yourself even more. So, why hurt yourself over some idiot who doesn't give a damn? Think about yourself first. It's your life.

as for newlymarried: what r u trying to prove? just cause she didn't let you sleep with her, she is not caring? dumbest reasoning I have ever heard. By the sound of it, she was pretty smart to do that.

hey lonely, hang in there. don't lose urself for that guy. every word you wrote, i feel like they're my own words. i'm going thru similar situation and i'd say it's better to leave him now. i believe that all relationships should end up in happiness. if thats not happening then don't bother putting so much effort into it. get out from this mess now. the more u wait..the more harder it'll be. i just broke up with him and am trying to move on. it's not easy i know but i know you can do it.
hope you'd find ur happiness again.
take care

to em' broken hearts....

Hi lonely,
I wouldn't suggest for breakup.
I would suggest you take the advice from Dr. Gary Chapman. His book Five Love Languages explains how couples before marriage are in love, are happy and goes beyond to make other happy. Aftrer marriage they forget or stop doing those things. For every people there is different love language you need to communicate in to make that person happy. The main reason of breakups is not understanding and communicating in the partners love language. The five love languages are:
1.Words of appreciation
2.Quality time
3.Receiving Gifts
4.Acts of Service
5.Physical Touch

Sorry to say but you may not be communicating in his love language and he is not communicating in your love language. Therefore, You are unhappy and depressed. So is he and trying to find happiness outside. IF you find out his love language and give him that I sure he will come back.

This book give true life scenario like yours and after the advice from Dr. Chapman have helped them fall in love again.
IF you want him back and wanna fall in love again read his book.

Also another must read book Man are from Mars and Women are from Venus.

this one too..

great nabubabu, exactly the five things are required for a relation.what i personally feel is that relation must always b exciting.both the partners should come up with a new idea to make each others happy n make them feel that yeah he/she is there for each other.they do care for each other. a realtion without any excitement and anxiety is not a relation, it is a key to frustration, depression and boredom.sharing of gifts shows how much u care,words of appreciation shows u r there for her/him when u r alone,acts of service shows the readyness to do n die when needed and physical touch shows the devotion towards long term relationship.about time?? well don need to say i anything i guess.specially for geographicaly challenged couple sharing of gifts n some written words from time to time is very important.
lonely, even i would suggest u like nabubabu coz u have written in ur second comment that he is not completely into another girl.if it is so may be he got disappointed.u should try to understand his needs.sharing is loving.u never get low by giving in love, the more u give , more u recieve.love is a balance, who puts more love has more weight.
by the way single_wannabe i don understand what u mean by every relatioh should up in happiness.ending of a relation is never joyful.if u can end up happily that means there was no love, u were burden to each other.ending of a realtion teach some lessons.n don take breaking up so easily.every relation is made up of compromises."the more u wait , harder it'll be".that is what love is: its attachment.if u can easily leave someone, that means loving was for selfishness.once ur selfishness is not fulfilled, u r ready to move away easily but of course there r somethings in life which u can not compromise and that can be concluded mutually n move out but in this case of lonely i would say no pressure give him love.he will feel it n if he does not stop , he will find the gap and difference.

astu:

"I will just try to ignore the whole situation and pretend normal.. And wait for the time to heal my pain.. "

Ignoring the whole situation is not the right solution. If you have a problem you should acknowledge it before you can find a solution to it. Ignoring the situation might be temporary solution but the problem you haunt you from time and again until you become very weak to face it. So the first thing is that you sould be able to see the problems that you are facing. see it from your eye, see it from others perspective. Also this relationship can be a great learning experience to you. life is all about learning from your experiences and moving ahead.

fool for your loving no more...

fool for your loving no more........