WHAT MAKES ME LONELY AND AGUISH IS NOT THAT I HAVE NOONE TO SHARE
BUT THIS,I HAVE ONLY MY OWN BURDDEN TO BEAR.
dedicated to onto one who lost their parents...i know it hurts it badly hurts when we lost someone.this one is dedicated to one who lost their parents.i will say it hurts coz i know what pain is.
i dont know and dont wanna know wether my dad died for good reason or bad reason but i am sure what he did hurt me ,broke me and tore me apart.but despite of all those things i love him more and more each day.miss him more each day..this is to every single dad who loves their daughter.
when i was small everyone use to say" छोरीको अनुहार र हाँसो त काटीकुटी बाबाको जसतै रहेछ।"at that time i use to feel so proud.i used to write poem and article as my dad used to .he was writer and reporter.my writing was about rainbow,sunsine,my dad mom,falling rain,smiling face.....and every poem i composed i use to rush or wait for my dad to show .and he use to kiss me in my forhead after he finished reading.and that was my precious gift.
i loved my dad and mom more than anything in this world. i am only daughter they had and they never wanted more child except meh. and my baba use to say i am his son. i used to consider myself most lucky gal in this whole world.
later all my hope,dreams ,love,happiness was shattered. police arrested my dad and was labelled as maoist.he wrote some article and poem related to maoism and all i knew that time was its bad to write.my small head only knew that much.later my dad was shot dead.
he was labelled maoist and shot dead.
i dont know why my dad did this to me??i also dont know if he ever loved me??if he did why did he choose something else beyond me.i am labelled as daughter of maoist .and nobody dares to write anything when their dad is killed as terrorist but i am not guilty abt my dad .i am just sad coz he choose politics more than me.
empathy,compassion and concern human being are legacy and greatest gift a parents could leave a child well noww i am the unluckiest one.
as i am sitting infront of my computer writing my venom ,anger on sajhaland.while every gal of my age enjoy flirting with guy laughing at stupid jokes ,talking and comparing boy with arjun rampal and brad pitt.
whenever any guy smile and brings hands of friendship toward me i just do is ignore them as much as i can.if anyone gives me compliment i just gazed them with blue eyes. meh and my stern face which never smile.
i encountered sudden drastic dip in graph of livnig when everything goes stale and flat enthusiasm goes stale and flat which never smile.i dont like smiling anymore coz i dont wanna look like dad.
when i see my mom's smile brimming with tears in eyes .i rush to my bedroom buried my fac in pillow and wept cupious tears .all tears shed never shed first time.i ranged against god and at life and injustice at my mom.
my mom is doc .she always go to hospital and cure patients but i wonder if their is any medicine which can heal my mom. sometime our prison are self impose.i like being on tears ,sadness,so noone can hurt me..
I HATE MAOIST !I HATE COZ THATS THE THING THAT TOOK MY DAD AWAY FROM ME.THATS THE THING DUE TO WHICH MY MOM SMILE WITH THROAT TIGHTENED TRYING HER BEST NOT TO CRY.
I HATE MAOIST BUT I CANT STOP LOVING MY DAD.
