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Hami Nepali haru ko life nai yestai ho kya ho kaam kaam kaaam khaire haru ko nokor jaile
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GuitarDaku
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Posted on 07-05-10 3:44
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Bro, ali positive thinking chahiyo. Negativity only breeds negative results. Positivity will breed positive results. There are some things you cannot control. Why worry about that? let it slide. It's hard but you have to learn. But there are things you can control. Like your reaction and your actions. Focus on your work and your future. Be serious about your career. Things will get better as long as you have a path you are building. Read books about positive thinking.
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hawas
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Posted on 07-05-10 4:13
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K-town, Lemme tell you one thing, If you are frustated with life then Why did you come to USA? You probably thought america ko rastrapati will give you warm welcome with FulMala in the AIRPORT? Dude Life is tough over here and you have to keep on struggling. Then one day you will realize the It was worth it.
Last edited: 05-Jul-10 04:14 PM
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ayushlal
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Posted on 07-05-10 5:03
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testo frastu hunu bhaina yar.... huna tah mah pani kyai advice dine awastha mah tah chuina tara ni just live this phase...it wont get worse then this so it will get better...hope to hear something positive from you
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commando
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Posted on 07-05-10 5:11
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Ktwon bro,
Relax.
First think of what you want in life. No one can make you feel bad, unless you let them. Be proud of the fact that you are an immigrant. This country would have been nowhere close to where it is if it wasn't for immigrants. And, then there are people who know this. But America is also full of closed-minded racists who know nothing better than to find someone who in their view is inferior to them and take out their frustrations at them. This should not in any way let you down.
I do not know what situation you are in. But I have had to deal with a few isssues myself. Like not really knowing what I want in life, doing nothing for weeks and later regretting that I am losing my track. As of now, I have loans to pay, I am working on-campus that merely enables me to pay my rent and other living expenses. But that does not prevent me from doing my things. Every night after work I have started to learn programming, and a bit of maths. I have not really been good at it but I am trying.
Life is hard. And, it's this hardness in life that makes life worth living. We hear of stories that people put up here - of their struggles and how they overcame those struggles and achieved something valuable.
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy shit…what a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson
Please try to take a moment to think of where you would want to be in a few years. Remain focused. Do not let anything distract you. I know it's easier said than done, but give it a try because it's really worth it. Do not look at other's and be jealous of what they have achieved. This is your life. You need to make the most out of it. And, the most of your experiences. If you go through all the pain, the things you will achieve will be so worth it.
Listen to some Tibetan incantations. Mantra of Avalokiteshavara, or Manjushri mantra. Close your eyes. I saw in one of the other threads that you said you were addicted to porn and sex. Don't take that as a sin. It's very natural - we're all horny and those who claim not to be are either lying or have some problems. But set some time for it. Set some measures for rewards after doing something and don't just enjoy before getting something done. You need to use the Hyde side in you for your personal benefit and not just to enjoy trivial things.
I know it's easy to be preachy. It's hard to be in your shoes. But you're there and you have to deal with it. You get nowhere by thinking of the things that you have been. Start acting. POSITIVELY. Set your aims. Focus. Watch the Geeta episode in Mahabharat. I think it's episode 73.
If you're at a college, try going and talking to a counselor about your issues. Don't say things like you want to kill or blah.. blah.. blah. That is an instinct that you need to take care of otherwise you could get into serious troubles for saying that. Remain calm. Try being happy. Happiness is to a large extent a state of the mind, and if you can't get it, you will be happy with nothing whatsoever.
Try thinking of your life. Think of all the beautiful women you might want to marry. Think of your future sons. Try working hard for them if not for you. It is never too late to do anything. Just don't stay back and get sucked up in this vicious cycle of posting depressing messages on Sajha. It might feel good to share your problems and have people say something about it - maybe you could take things some people say here and apply it to your life, but you need to start doing that. NOW>
I hope for all the best for you. I end this wiht this quote..
“Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let the pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place.”
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commando
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Posted on 07-05-10 5:14
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Think of your future children instead of sons. That was a typing-slip; I'm not a sexist.
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subrath
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Posted on 07-05-10 5:28
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Good suggestion commando! The episode 3 of Mahabharat is a gr8 pratical suggestion. Gangster bro! There is nothing beautiful as hope because we use it (hope) to heal our "self." When we hit the rock bottom the only place we can look is up. Here are some thoughts hoping it will make some sense to you in a positive out-look
"If Life is a Game, These are the Rules Cherie Carter-Scott In workshops and retreats, on photocopies and emails, on noticeboards and fridge doors, the 'Ten Rules for Being Human' have been spreading round the world like wildfire, so, in all probability, you've already seen them. In case you haven't, they're brilliant, and here they are, together with Cherie Carter-Scott's summary of how you can use them as a primer for higher consciousness. Rule One You will receive a body . You may love it or hate it, but it will be yours for the duration of your life on Earth. Rule Two You will be presented with lessons . You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called ‘life.' Each day in this school you will have the opportunity to learn lessons. You may like the lessons or hate them, but you have designed them as part of your curriculum. Rule Three There are no mistakes, only lessons . Growth is a process of experimentation, a series of trials, errors, and occasional victories. The failed experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiments that work. Rule Four A lesson is repeated until learned . Lessons will be repeated to you in various forms until you have learned them. When you have learned them, you can then go on to the next lesson. Rule Five Learning does not end . There is no part of life that does not contain lessons. If you are alive, there are lessons to be learned. Rule Six ‘There’ is no better than ‘here’. When your ‘there’ has become a ‘here,' you will simply obtain a ‘there’ that will look better to you than your present ‘here’. Rule Seven Others are only mirrors of you . You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects something you love or hate about yourself. Rule Eight What you make of your life is up to you . You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. Rule Nine Your answers lie inside of you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust. Rule Ten You will forget all of this at birth . You can remember it if you want by unravelling the double helix of inner knowing. Summary Your time here on Earth is brief. Time passes and things change. You have options and choices in which to make your wishes, dreams, and goals become reality. When you ask yourself, ‘Why am I here?’ or ‘Why is this happening to me?’ or ‘What's it all about?’ turn to your spiritual primer. Ask yourself, ‘What is the lesson?’ If you hear a defensive reaction using the words ‘never’ or ‘always’ in your response, you haven’t yet learned the lesson. Next, go a little deeper and ask, ‘What is there for me to learn from this experience?’ Each time you view your circumstances as possessing value, regardless of the apparent confusion or hardship, you grow. Your personal evolution will depend on how readily you embrace your lessons and integrate them into your life. Remember, the only consequence for resisting lessons, is that they will keep repeating themselves until you learn them. When you have learned a lesson, you will always be tested. When the lesson is learned, the test will be easily passed, and you then move on to more complex and challenging ones. You can look back on the incidents in your past and see clearly the lessons you have learned, resisted, and are still repeating. ‘Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift, that is why we call it the present.’ It is more challenging to look at your present situation and see exactly what your lessons are. Looking into the future is the most difficult. Wishing that you had already graduated from the school of life does not accelerate your progress or make the lessons any easier. Examining the situation for the real lesson is the scavenger hunt. Remind yourself that you are here to learn lessons. Be present with your process. Pay attention to what you are experiencing. Be diligent with actions which enable you to ‘get' the lessons presented to you. Ask for answers and you shall receive them. Listen with an open heart. Explore all options. See your judgment as a mirror. View each crisis as an opportunity. Trust yourself. Believe in yourself. Look within yourself, to your higher self, for guidance on all your choices. Extend compassion to yourself. Remember, there are no mistakes, only lessons (Rule Three). Love yourself, trust your choices, and everything is possible! From If Life is a Game, These are the Rules, © 1998 by Cherie Carter-Scott, published in the UK in 1999 by Hodder & Stoughton."
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sajhafan
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Posted on 07-05-10 6:32
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People always advice you to do this and you will feel alright............ or think that and you will be fine. But brother jaba samma saaday saath lay choddaina kai garay ni sukha paidaina. In Nepal we all were extrovert never had a chance to look within ourselves, over here eklai basdaa basdaa introvert baiyo. Thought process change bhayo. Timi jastai ma pani, depression ma thiya. Everything was worthless and pointless. Advice dinay lai heray ra dayaa lagthiyo 'muuuujjjjeee lai kai thaha chaina, 2/3 otta aru lay bhanay ko inspirational line bhanay ra chita bujhaya ko dekhera'.
Then i got into meditation 5 yrs ago and life is more meaningful now. Do it and know it for yourself. Believe me it has nothing to do with those pot smoking baba from pashupati or homeless people singing about krishna in dark and sorrow-stricken room.
Scientifically meditation helps your glands to secrete hormone like serotonin and melatonin.........and stop the secretion of stress hormone cortisol. When you smoke joint, you are using chemical to secrete those 'feeling good' hormones. By meditation, you are naturally trying to secrete them.
After 2-3 months.........High, better than drugs and joint, can be felt, without any hangover.......LOL. That is why Osho said "(Unlike meditation) Drugs is the shortest way to false samadhi".
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sab_nepaliko_sathi
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Posted on 07-05-10 6:41
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Gangster Bro, I know exactly how you are feeling. It's scary how similar our thoughts are (well, for me it was how I felt a couple of years ago). Trust me bro, things will get better. That doesn't mean that you will get everything that you dreamt of as a child, that just means that you will learn to be complacent and start appreciating what you have. As bad as you situation is, you still have enough to eat, a place to sleep and access to a computer. What % of the world's population do you think has those things? The most important thing for you is to stop regretting and thinking of what life would have been if you had done things differently (like not coming to the US). What's done is done, be proud of the decisions you have made and the lessons you have learnt. Also, stop comparing your life with others (eg Americans). Focus on your life, don't compare your life with others. And most importantly, start exercising for at least a few minutes everyday. That will help relieve a lot of stress. Take this from someone who a couple of years ago felt exactly the way you are feeling right now--- things will change for the better. Please stop focusing on the past and how things could/would have been. Think of the future and how you can improve it. As bad as things seem right now, things will change. Just hang in there, bro. It's just life. No big deal. Remember that everyone feels this way at a time or other. Just hang in there.
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K-town Gangster
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Posted on 07-07-10 6:52
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thanks for the positive reinforcement guys, at least yeah i feel like i should suffer now then bring happiness to my Nepalese people in Nepal, teach them good stuff that I learnt in US
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subrath
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Posted on 07-09-10 2:42
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Compiling some positive energy hoping that it will help someone somewhere @ their course of life adventure NOW!
Source:www.pickthebrain.com/blog/how-to-motivate-yourself
Staying motivated is a struggle — our drive is constantly assaulted by negative thoughts and anxiety about the future. Everyone faces doubt and depression. What separates the highly successful is the ability to keep moving forward.
There is no simple solution for a lack of motivation. Even after beating it, the problem reappears at the first sign of failure. The key is understanding your thoughts and how they drive your emotions. By learning how to nurture motivating thoughts, neutralize negative ones, and focus on the task at hand, you can pull yourself out of a slump before it gains momentum.
Reasons We Lose Motivation
There are 3 primary reasons we lose motivation.
- Lack of confidence – If you don’t believe you can succeed, what’s the point in trying?
- Lack of focus – If you don’t know what you want, do you really want anything?
- Lack of direction – If you don’t know what to do, how can you be motivated to do it?
How to Boost Confidence
The first motivation killer is a lack of confidence. When this happens to me, it’s usually because I’m focusing entirely on what I want and neglecting what I already have. When you only think about what you want, your mind creates explanations for why you aren’t getting it. This creates negative thoughts. Past failures, bad breaks, and personal weaknesses dominate your mind. You become jealous of your competitors and start making excuses for why you can’t succeed. In this state, you tend to make a bad impression, assume the worst about others, and lose self confidence.
The way to get out of this thought pattern is to focus on gratitude. Set aside time to focus on everything positive in your life. Make a mental list of your strengths, past successes, and current advantages. We tend to take our strengths for granted and dwell on our failures. By making an effort to feel grateful, you’ll realize how competent and successful you already are. This will rejuvenate your confidence and get you motivated to build on your current success.
It might sound strange that repeating things you already know can improve your mindset, but it’s amazingly effective. The mind distorts reality to confirm what it wants to believe. The more negatively you think, the more examples your mind will discover to confirm that belief. When you truly believe that you deserve success, your mind will generate ways to achieve it. The best way to bring success to yourself is to genuinely desire to create value for the rest of the world.
Developing Tangible Focus
The second motivation killer is a lack of focus. How often do you focus on what you don’t want, rather than on a concrete goal? We normally think in terms of fear. I’m afraid of being poor. I’m afraid no one will respect me. I’m afraid of being alone. The problem with this type of thinking is that fear alone isn’t actionable. Instead of doing something about our fear, it feeds on itself and drains our motivation.
If you’re caught up in fear based thinking, the first step is focusing that energy on a well defined goal. By defining a goal, you automatically define a set of actions. If you have a fear of poverty, create a plan to increase your income. It could be going back to school, obtaining a higher paying job, or developing a profitable website. The key is moving from an intangible desire to concrete, measurable steps.
By focusing your mind on a positive goal instead of an ambiguous fear, you put your brain to work. It instantly begins devising a plan for success. Instead of worrying about the future you start to do something about it. This is the first step in motivating yourself to take action. When know what you want, you become motivated to take action.
Developing Direction
The final piece in the motivational puzzle is direction. If focus means having an ultimate goal, direction is having a day-to-day strategy to achieve it. A lack of direction kills motivation because without an obvious next action we succumb to procrastination. An example of this is a person who wants to have a popular blog, but who spends more time reading posts about blogging than actually writing articles.
The key to finding direction is identifying the activities that lead to success. For every goal, there are activities that pay off and those that don’t. Make a list of all your activities and arrange them based on results. Then make a make an action plan that focuses on the activities that lead to big returns. To continue the example from above, a blogger’s list would look something like this:
- Write content
- Research relevant topics
- Network with other bloggers
- Optimize design and ad placements
- Answer comments and email
- Read other blogs
Keeping track of your most important tasks will direct your energy towards success. Without a constant reminder, it’s easy to waste entire days on filler activities like reading RSS feeds, email, and random web surfing.
When my motivation starts to wane, I regain direction by creating a plan that contains two positive actions. The first one should be a small task you’ve been meaning to do, while the second should be a long-term goal. I immediately do the smaller task. This creates positive momentum. After that I take the first step towards achieving the long-term goal. Doing this periodically is great for getting out of a slump, creating positive reinforcement, and getting long-term plans moving.
It’s inevitable that you’ll encounter periods of low energy, bad luck, and even the occasional failure. If you don’t discipline your mind, these minor speed bumps can turn into mental monsters. By being on guard against the top 3 motivation killers you can preserve your motivation and propel yourself to success.
Last edited: 09-Jul-10 02:43 PM
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